I don't know if I'll be over being sad. I'm not just sad at being forced to move home. Normally, I'm a very happy person, and when I moved to Pennsylvania, I saw it as a Good Thing. The move to Austin was a Good Thing. If everything was right in the world, I'd see this as a good thing.

In April, my parents told me never to speak to them again. In May, my lover left me. In June, I lost my job. In July I lost my pet. Four right hooks that just floored me.

In August I got a job offer from Apple, which really lifted my mood, but I knew something was wrong when I realized I couldn't see the good side of Apple. I was self doubting and self deprecating about it. My parents began to talk to me again, but, again, I just couldn't lift myself out of the whole funk. Then Apple called and hit me with a baseball bat to the ribs, and I just fell.

Right now I'm in the middle of a DEEP DEEP depression. And I'd go see a shrink about if I had the money. I realize that I'm stuck in this mindset and can't get up out of it.

I'm trying to focus on the good things, but it just don't work sometimes...and little things get me very blue.

I will see the magic of possibility, one day. But I don't see it very soon.

Meh.

{{hugs}}