Posted to Alt.Games.SF2

[dolari]

Subject: Time Travelers PLEASE HELP! 3846
From: [DELETED]
Newsgroups: alt.games.sf2, alt.games.torg, alt.games.vga-planets, alt.good.news, alt.gothic

If you are a time traveler or alien and or in procession of alien or government technology I need your help! My case is truly genuine! I seek to work with someone who is of a good nature, someone I can call my savior as well as a friend.

My life has been severely tampered with and cursed!!
I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!

I need to be able to:

Travel back in time.

Rewind my life including my age back to 4.

I am in great danger and need this immediately!
I want to work with you in any way possible.

I am aware of two types of time travel one in physical form and the other
in energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the
dimensional warp or the brain snapshot device and then sends your consciousness
back through time to part with your younger self. I'm almost certain the dimensional warp would be the safest and best solution.
Please explain how safe and what your method involves.

I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless
without a vortex.
If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator or
where I can get some of the blue glowing moon crystals this would also
be helpful. I am however concerned with the high level of radiation these
crystals give off, if you could provide a shielding this would be helpful.
I believe the vortex would have to be east-west polarized,
North-south polarized vortexes are used for cross-dimensional time
travel only.

If you have this technology and can help me please
send me a (SEPARATE) email to: [DELETED]

Thanks

ocxnnwsskbgniqlzscorzrwr

Get in line, buddy.

Comments

[tempusthales.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I read things like that, and wonder...

What if he's right?

Then I hide under the blankets drinking whiskey with a straw till I black out.

[ex-radicaled804.livejournal.com]

...I got that email. Most creative spam ever.

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Remember, just because we aren't paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get us. :)

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Actually, a few years ago, there was a spam for this company that offered to put your brain into any body imaginable. My curiousity was peaked and the website looked pretty fun. So I filled out their questionnaire, and my response, two weeks later was:

You're new body is John Malkovich!

The whole site wasn't a joke, it was a dummy site for the movie Being John Malkovich. that was the only time I ever wrote back a NICE letter about Spam. :)