dolari | Sep. 28th, 2001

There will be no daily journal entries this week. Instead I bring you The Story of Austin.

Part 5 of 5

JULY 2001

Life is only what we choose to make it,
Let's just take it,
Let us be free.
We can find the glory we all dream of
And with our love,
We can win.

Still,
We must fight or face defeat -
We must stand tall and not retreat.
With our strength we'll find the might,
There's no fight we can't fight
Together
Oh together
We can win.

Blessed
With strong hearts that beat as one,
Watch us soar,
And with love that conquers all
We'll win this battle,
This last battle,
We will win
We must win
We will win
We can win
We can win

As the battle goes on we feel stronger,
How much longer
Must this go on?
Each and every day we dream of winning
And beginning
A new life.

Still,
We must fight or face defeat -
We must stand tall and not retreat.
With our strength we'll find the might,
There's no fight we can't fight
Together
Oh together
We can win.

Blessed
With strong hearts that beat as one,
Watch us soar,
And with love that conquers all
We'll win this battle,
This last battle,
We will win
We must win
We will win
We can win
We can win

Now that we have reached this last encounter
Where are we now?
What shall be now?
How could we have come so far to give up?
We won't give up
We can win.

Still,
We must fight or face defeat -
We must stand tall and not retreat.
With our strength we'll find the might,
There's no fight we can't fight
Together
Oh together
We can win.

Blessed
With strong hearts that beat as one,
Watch us soar,
And with love that conquers all
We'll win this battle,
This last battle,
We will win
We must win
We will win
We must win
We will win
We can win.

--Reba West, We Can Win

AUGUST 2001

Another winter day
Another grey reminder that what used to be
Has gone away.
It's really hard to see
How long we have to live with our insanity.

We have to pay for all we use,
We never think before we light the fuse.

Look up! Look up! Look up!
The sky is falling.
Look up! There's something that
You have to do.
Before you try to go outside
To take in the view,
Look up because the sky
Could fall on you.

Another restless night
The wind is howling through the empty streets outside
We have to hide.
We dare not go outside
We must not walk into the darkness of the night.

We have to pay for all we use,
We never think before we light the fuse.

Look up! Look up! Look up!
The sky is falling.
Look up! There's something that
You have to do.
Before you try to go outside
To take in the view,
Look up because the sky
Could fall on you.

We have to pay for all we use,
We never think before we light the fuse.

Look up! Look up! Look up!
The sky is falling.
Look up! There's something that
You have to do.
Before you try to go outside
To take in the view,
Look up because the sky
Could fall on you.

--Michael Bradley, Look Up! The Sky is Falling

SEPTEMBER 2001

Men in a war
If they've lost a limb
Still feel that limb
As they did before

He lay on a cot
He was drenched in a sweat
He was mute and staring
But feeling the thing
He had not

I know how it is
When something is gone
A piece of your eyesight
Or maybe your vision

A corner of sense
Goes blank on the screen
A piece of the scan
Gets filled in by hand

You know that it was
And now it is not
So you just make do with
Whatever you've got

Men in a war
If they've lost a limb
Still feel that limb
As they did before

If your nerve is cut
If you're kept on the stretch
You don't feel your will
You can't find your gut

And she lay on her back
She made sure she was hid
She was mute and staring
Not feeling the thing
That she did

I know how it is
When something is gone
A piece of your eyesight
Or maybe your vision

--Suzanne Vega, Men in a War

REPRISE - JUNE THROUGH JULY 2001

Floatin' down the river
With a saturated liver
And I wish I could forgive her
But I do believe she meant it
When she told me to forget it
And I bet she will regret it
When they find me in the morning wet and drowned
And the word gets 'round
Goin' down
Goin' down

Coming' up for air
It's pretty stuffy under there
I'd like to say I didn't care
But I forgot to leave a note
And it's so hard to stay afloat
I'm soakin' wet without a boat
And I knew I should have taken off my shoes
It's front page news
Goin' down
Goin' down

I wish I had another drink
It wouldn't be so hard to sink
I should have taken time to think
Besides I got the picture straight
She must have had another date
I didn't need this extra weight
I wish that I could see the way to shore
Don't want no more
Goin' down
I'm goin' down

And now I see the life I led
I slept it all away in bed
I should have learned to swim instead
And now it's really got me stumped
I can't believe why I jumped
I'd like to get my tummy pumped
I can't believe they drink this stuff in town
This dirty brown
Goin' down
Goin' down

I wish I looked before I leaped
I didn't know it was so deep
Been down so far I don't get wet
Haven't touched the bottom yet
This river scene is getting' old
I'm hungry, sleepy, wet and cold
She told me to forget it nice
I should have taken her advice
I only want to go on home
I'd gladly leave that girl alone
What a way to spend the night
If I don't drown, I'll die of fright
My pappy taught me how to float
But I can't swim a single note
He threw me in to teach me how
I stayed there floatin' like a mama cow
And now I've floated way down stream
I know this has to be a dream
If I could find my way to shore
I'd never, never do this anymore
I'll give you three, I've been down nine
I'm goin' down just one more time.
Goin' down.
Goin' down.

Now the sky is getting' light
An everything will be all right
Think I finally got the knack
Just floatin' here lazy on my back
I never really liked that town
I think I'll ride the river down
Just movin' slow and floatin' free
There's a river swingin' under me.
Waving back to the folks on shore
I should have thought of this before
I'm floatin' on down to New Orleans
Goin' to pick up on some swingin' scenes
I know I'll know a better day
I'll go down groovin' all the way
Goin' down
Goin' down

--The Monkees, Goin' Down

This has been a desperately needed exorcizing of demons. Journal entries will begin again on midnight Saturday night.