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The nighttime chattering of the mind....
Jul. 24th, 2002 04:24 amThere's a full moon out there tonight.
Somthing I've been thinking about lately is going under the stars and meditating. I'm sure it would be pretty healing and even enjoyable.
And frankly, I need that stability.
Erin hasn't been well since she's come home from Thailand. This, in turn, usually makes for a jumpy Marca. Knowing that the two are already REALLY stressed, I try to keep myself from annoying them to death all a twitter and flutter. Andy is back from his family reunion, as well. Making sure I'm not going to crack any eggshells I'm walking on is stressful.
The fact that my parents want me home for my birthday is stressful.
The fact that Erin has HAD her surgery and I haven't is stressful.
A lot of times, I wonder if I've walked out of the fire into the frying pan. A lot of it is having to learn the dynamics of living with three other people, and a forth when the kidlet comes back into the house, I'm sure. A lot of it is pure jealousy towards Erin. And even more of it is my natural desire to go into a cave and be a hermit.
It now looks like I'll be staying until at LEAST September here, so I can take care of Sean during his "waiting for school to start" days. I hope I can keep from doing something stupid until then.
Right now, my head is telling me that writing this entry is a stupid thing to to, in plain sight, where the folks here can read it. I'm a take a chance, though, and post it.
I just want everyone to know I'm trying my best given the situation, forgive any faux pas, and being green with envy does not put me in my right mind....
Meditation - I need meditation.
I woke up early today to Marca knocking on my door. Water got cut off and we needed to pay the bill. I have a very peculiar problem. If I wake up on my own - it takes FOREVER for me to get out of that "sleep drunkenness" mode. I fyou wake me up suddenly - I'm up. POOF.
Drove to Bastrop, made the payment, came back.
From there, I took off to the Airport, where I've been three times before in the last two weeks, and completely missed the passenger pickup area. Big ole dum dum me. Picked up Andy and made the arduous (My truck has no AC, it's 100 degrees out - I love it, Andy doesn't) trek back home.
From there, off to Texas Cattle Steak Field Cabin House of Happy Joy (I cna't remember the name). I made a pig of myself with the Rib-Eye steak. Sad thing is, I LOVE steak fries...big pieces of potato, lightly friend and all...and I got McDonald's fries. Let me tell ya, Texas LAnd Grant Cattle Company Warehouse Bed and Breakfast wasn't nearly as good as Hoss'es...so the search for a good steakhouse is still on. I wonder if Furr's in any good.
Erin was too tired to drive home, so I took her truck home myself. Note to self - your shortcut isn't really a shrotcut. Came home and worked on the cartoon QUITE a bit until everyone went to bed.
My days are nicer here. Less action packed, but nicer. ;)
Somthing I've been thinking about lately is going under the stars and meditating. I'm sure it would be pretty healing and even enjoyable.
And frankly, I need that stability.
Erin hasn't been well since she's come home from Thailand. This, in turn, usually makes for a jumpy Marca. Knowing that the two are already REALLY stressed, I try to keep myself from annoying them to death all a twitter and flutter. Andy is back from his family reunion, as well. Making sure I'm not going to crack any eggshells I'm walking on is stressful.
The fact that my parents want me home for my birthday is stressful.
The fact that Erin has HAD her surgery and I haven't is stressful.
A lot of times, I wonder if I've walked out of the fire into the frying pan. A lot of it is having to learn the dynamics of living with three other people, and a forth when the kidlet comes back into the house, I'm sure. A lot of it is pure jealousy towards Erin. And even more of it is my natural desire to go into a cave and be a hermit.
It now looks like I'll be staying until at LEAST September here, so I can take care of Sean during his "waiting for school to start" days. I hope I can keep from doing something stupid until then.
Right now, my head is telling me that writing this entry is a stupid thing to to, in plain sight, where the folks here can read it. I'm a take a chance, though, and post it.
I just want everyone to know I'm trying my best given the situation, forgive any faux pas, and being green with envy does not put me in my right mind....
Meditation - I need meditation.
I woke up early today to Marca knocking on my door. Water got cut off and we needed to pay the bill. I have a very peculiar problem. If I wake up on my own - it takes FOREVER for me to get out of that "sleep drunkenness" mode. I fyou wake me up suddenly - I'm up. POOF.
Drove to Bastrop, made the payment, came back.
From there, I took off to the Airport, where I've been three times before in the last two weeks, and completely missed the passenger pickup area. Big ole dum dum me. Picked up Andy and made the arduous (My truck has no AC, it's 100 degrees out - I love it, Andy doesn't) trek back home.
From there, off to Texas Cattle Steak Field Cabin House of Happy Joy (I cna't remember the name). I made a pig of myself with the Rib-Eye steak. Sad thing is, I LOVE steak fries...big pieces of potato, lightly friend and all...and I got McDonald's fries. Let me tell ya, Texas LAnd Grant Cattle Company Warehouse Bed and Breakfast wasn't nearly as good as Hoss'es...so the search for a good steakhouse is still on. I wonder if Furr's in any good.
Erin was too tired to drive home, so I took her truck home myself. Note to self - your shortcut isn't really a shrotcut. Came home and worked on the cartoon QUITE a bit until everyone went to bed.
My days are nicer here. Less action packed, but nicer. ;)
