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But I'm supposed to be RELAXING this week!
SATURDAY NIGHT
After much hemming and hawwing (and a dropped Laptop! EEEEEEK! Definitely seems to be working fine, though...) I went to San Antonio for Father's Day. I went to bed at 6AM...
SUNDAY
Mom woke me up at 9AM. NINE A.M. But, it was okay...it was Father's Day, I hardly ever see my Dad, we figured we'd make a day of it. And what a strange weekend it was.
Our first trip was to the Losoya Cemetery where my Mother's parents are buried. First problem - I brought Dean's Bra with me. And while the cups fit, he's got a TINY ribcage, so I was Miss Nipples all weekend long. I though wearing my textured shirt would help things, but...well...no. Female nipples like to say Hello to everyone, ESPECIALLY with textured blouses. Strangely, my parents said nothing to the fact that I was wearing a blouse, and my hair curled (boy mode hair tends to be very stringy straight looking). She even introduced me to the neighbors (with my old name) instead of trying to get between me and them.
While we were there, my mother mentioned that my sister and I could get buried here. When I mentioned that this was a Catholic cemetery and I wasn't confirmed, she straight up said "No, it's okay. They're open to the public now, so if you'd like to be buried here, you can...with your..." and here she seemed to struggle with a word, but not a "I don't' want to say this" pause but a "I can't find the right word" kind of pause "...forever...life partner."
My jaw dropped.
The family has known about Emily for a month now. I have not said that she's TS at all...but just the fact that my mother even SAID those words shows a LOT of growing on her part. HEck, this last year, she's shown me she's finally willing to accept me back into the family.
So, I kinda probed and poked again, and said "Well, I always wanted to be cremated." Without a blink of an eye: "Oh, well we can bury the ashes here, too." O_O
My mother is a pretty devout Catholic. This conversation a few years ago had her in tears, since Catholics believe that if you're not bodily buried, you won't resurrect when the role gets called up yonder.
Thinking I could finish my thought I said "Well, I really wanted to be scattered...." And without batting an eye she said "You know, we shouldn't even be talking about this." EEK! I thought maybe I'd pushed too far this time and maybe hurt her. But she just looked at me smiled and said "This is one parent who isn't going to be burying or cremating her children."
WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN MY MOTHER?! ...and how long can you stay?
This is all part of just a complete 180 turnaround that has surprised me the last year or so. They've started making time for ME as ME, instead of me making time for THEM as my old self. WOW. I need to make sure they stay on this lovely course. :)
I'm still worried about them, though. The only thing I could see that would turn them around is a life-changing event, such as one of my parents dying and them trying to make amends. I hate to think there's a secondary cause for all this...but my mother has played too many games for me NOT to think that.
Anyways, from there, we went to the Lytle Cemetery. A train came by just at the same time and I got video for Train Aficionado #9. And from there we went to the cemetery to see my dad's father. From there, we saw my grandmother at her home in Castroville, but she had been taken out by an Uncle for a trip, so we went straight home. Mom got some Chinese food, and I took one bit about 9PM...and passed out after a half-bite....
MONDAY
::blink blink:: It's 5:30AM....I putter around a bit, and decide, that since I'm never awake at this time, I'd go out and get some breakfast, and see some old haunts. I wanted a Breakfast from Bill Miller's, since only the Bill Miller's in San Antonio serve breakfast (and they're DAMNED good breakfasts), but I could find one that was open! Turns out not all of them have breakfast, and the three I knew about didn't serve it. I ended up getting a Whataburger breakfast. I went by my old Middle School and High School, just to reminisce a little, then got back home.
I ended up talking with my mom, and...again, something WIERD happened. I was mentioning yesterday that I had tried to take a shower, the evening, but my sister was on her third bath. My mom just nonchalantly said to me "Well, when she's on her period, her legs hurt." This wasn't anything ever said to the old me. It would just be a "That's a womanly issue" or "That's not something we should talk about." Again, without thinking, she had simply blurted out a small sentence that she just never would have before. Not to mention while we were talking she referred to me as "she" several times (she corrected herself, but she SAID it), and even called me by my SISTER'S name.
I'm beginning to LIKE this alternate universe. :)
I had my Doctor's appointment, and I wasn't scolded! Not at all! My blood pressure had dropped WAY down and my while my weight was UP again, it wasn't nearly as much as either of us expected. I did tell him I was biking again, and he said that weight gain on exercise was normal, especially as I was out of shape. I wouldn't really LOSE weight till my stamina had built back up. Once I could "move around" on the bike again without being exhausted, the weight would pour off. He changed one of my doses to help me drop my cholesterol count and set a goal for me to be back around 290 by September.
I got my shot then things got..."off."
Normally when I get my shot, I get a little weakness in the leg where I get the shot, and I get a little dizzy. It's only ever gone bad "once" where I got shot in my hip really did something to my leg. The shot hurt a little more than usual, but really felt like a fire burning the next day, and two weeks later I was STILL feeling a numbness.
This time, I got my shot, and everything went fine, my leg got a little weary, and I felt kinda dizzy, but as the day wore on, it got worse and worse. When I finally got home about 3PM, I felt feverish and very weary. I don't actually think it was the shot, though. It was VERY hot that day, and I don't have AC in my truck. I'd had some iced tea, not enough water, and bad sleep, and I think it all just ganged up on me. I decided maybe I'd feel better after a nap, and DEFINATELY feel better driving home at 11PM instead of 4PM in the blazing sun.
Sleepy time for Jenn from about 5PM to 10PM.
On waking up, I remembered that I had a lot of my old toys packed away in one of the closets, so I decided to take them back with me, since I now have a permanent place to live. And while looking for that box I found a box of jackets...and sheets...and silverware...and crockery. And I finally just said to myself - it's time to take these back.
This prolly wasn't the best thing to do in my state. I had a pounding headache from the fever feeling and my muscles just felt like I had no power in them at all. But I DID get them all packed into the truck and came home...but the fever and that weak feeling had me pull over at a convenience store and get about 15 minutes of nap. I made it home, unpacked my truck, watched the Paper Chase (WHAT was the appeal of that movie?! IT was just god awfully boring!), and at 7AM snuggled into my bed for a nice well deserved sleep....
TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY and THURSDAY
I woke up at...oh, dear lord...10:30 PM. I had been asleep for FIFTEEN HOURS. And my headache was still there, my muscles had ZERO energy in them, and just walking across the house was winding me. I just laid low, unpacking boxes when I felt okay, taking a LOT of tylenol, and eating little stuff here and there....I only got four hours of sleep Wednesday Night, and forced myself to get 8 hours on Thursday Night to Friday morning....
FRIDAY
Feeling MUCH better but not 100%, I got up and worked on washing the now HUGE amount of dishes and laundry we had. It's funny to see a lot of this stuff again. You don't' think you'd get so nostalgic over sheets and glasses and bowls, but you do. One of my old mugs was a gag gift from my sister, a little joke about my love of pro-rasslin'. A mug that STILL says "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!" when you press the button on it. Or these gorgeous blue glass with gold trim glasses I've always liked...and my tumbler, and salt shaker and pillows. It was 2001 all over again - the good parts. :)
Dean invited me out to see the "World's Most Annoying Band" that evening, so I got cleaned up and we went out. I enjoyed a few minutes of the show, when I noticed a group of three people at a table who had decided the band wasn't as entertaining as I was, and they were pointing and laughing at me.
I wish I had the confidence to walk up to these people, and bash them with baseball bats for incredible rudeness. Alas, I don't have the confidence, or the legal backing to do so. It really killed me, and I left the show early...dragging Dean along with me. I feel bad for him...when shit like this happens, I end up just wanting to go home, but he misses out because he hates going alone. I felt terrible about this all night, terrible about being made fun of, and terrible about everything. And yet none of it was my fault.
Emily managed to cheer me back up, though. Something that Dean doesn't do that Emily does is she shares the pain, then lifts it. Dean tries to solve it, or rationalize...and while sometimes I need that, more than often I just need to TELL someone, just to get it off my chest, and spread it around a little thinner. Emily does that in droves. Thank you Emily.
My confidence is shattered for the next month, but this more than likely means I'll have time to clean the house and get everything from the boxes put up. :)
Comics are mostly on time...last week's AWFW (or I should say TWO WEEKS ago's AWFW is re-done, so it should be up possible tomorrow, with a new episode on Monday.
Erin has quit Trinoc Con, and will not be going to the con at ALL. This makes me the exiled Elder Statesman for the web comic artists. HEaven help them.... :)
SATURDAY NIGHT
After much hemming and hawwing (and a dropped Laptop! EEEEEEK! Definitely seems to be working fine, though...) I went to San Antonio for Father's Day. I went to bed at 6AM...
SUNDAY
Mom woke me up at 9AM. NINE A.M. But, it was okay...it was Father's Day, I hardly ever see my Dad, we figured we'd make a day of it. And what a strange weekend it was.
Our first trip was to the Losoya Cemetery where my Mother's parents are buried. First problem - I brought Dean's Bra with me. And while the cups fit, he's got a TINY ribcage, so I was Miss Nipples all weekend long. I though wearing my textured shirt would help things, but...well...no. Female nipples like to say Hello to everyone, ESPECIALLY with textured blouses. Strangely, my parents said nothing to the fact that I was wearing a blouse, and my hair curled (boy mode hair tends to be very stringy straight looking). She even introduced me to the neighbors (with my old name) instead of trying to get between me and them.
While we were there, my mother mentioned that my sister and I could get buried here. When I mentioned that this was a Catholic cemetery and I wasn't confirmed, she straight up said "No, it's okay. They're open to the public now, so if you'd like to be buried here, you can...with your..." and here she seemed to struggle with a word, but not a "I don't' want to say this" pause but a "I can't find the right word" kind of pause "...forever...life partner."
My jaw dropped.
The family has known about Emily for a month now. I have not said that she's TS at all...but just the fact that my mother even SAID those words shows a LOT of growing on her part. HEck, this last year, she's shown me she's finally willing to accept me back into the family.
So, I kinda probed and poked again, and said "Well, I always wanted to be cremated." Without a blink of an eye: "Oh, well we can bury the ashes here, too." O_O
My mother is a pretty devout Catholic. This conversation a few years ago had her in tears, since Catholics believe that if you're not bodily buried, you won't resurrect when the role gets called up yonder.
Thinking I could finish my thought I said "Well, I really wanted to be scattered...." And without batting an eye she said "You know, we shouldn't even be talking about this." EEK! I thought maybe I'd pushed too far this time and maybe hurt her. But she just looked at me smiled and said "This is one parent who isn't going to be burying or cremating her children."
WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN MY MOTHER?! ...and how long can you stay?
This is all part of just a complete 180 turnaround that has surprised me the last year or so. They've started making time for ME as ME, instead of me making time for THEM as my old self. WOW. I need to make sure they stay on this lovely course. :)
I'm still worried about them, though. The only thing I could see that would turn them around is a life-changing event, such as one of my parents dying and them trying to make amends. I hate to think there's a secondary cause for all this...but my mother has played too many games for me NOT to think that.
Anyways, from there, we went to the Lytle Cemetery. A train came by just at the same time and I got video for Train Aficionado #9. And from there we went to the cemetery to see my dad's father. From there, we saw my grandmother at her home in Castroville, but she had been taken out by an Uncle for a trip, so we went straight home. Mom got some Chinese food, and I took one bit about 9PM...and passed out after a half-bite....
MONDAY
::blink blink:: It's 5:30AM....I putter around a bit, and decide, that since I'm never awake at this time, I'd go out and get some breakfast, and see some old haunts. I wanted a Breakfast from Bill Miller's, since only the Bill Miller's in San Antonio serve breakfast (and they're DAMNED good breakfasts), but I could find one that was open! Turns out not all of them have breakfast, and the three I knew about didn't serve it. I ended up getting a Whataburger breakfast. I went by my old Middle School and High School, just to reminisce a little, then got back home.
I ended up talking with my mom, and...again, something WIERD happened. I was mentioning yesterday that I had tried to take a shower, the evening, but my sister was on her third bath. My mom just nonchalantly said to me "Well, when she's on her period, her legs hurt." This wasn't anything ever said to the old me. It would just be a "That's a womanly issue" or "That's not something we should talk about." Again, without thinking, she had simply blurted out a small sentence that she just never would have before. Not to mention while we were talking she referred to me as "she" several times (she corrected herself, but she SAID it), and even called me by my SISTER'S name.
I'm beginning to LIKE this alternate universe. :)
I had my Doctor's appointment, and I wasn't scolded! Not at all! My blood pressure had dropped WAY down and my while my weight was UP again, it wasn't nearly as much as either of us expected. I did tell him I was biking again, and he said that weight gain on exercise was normal, especially as I was out of shape. I wouldn't really LOSE weight till my stamina had built back up. Once I could "move around" on the bike again without being exhausted, the weight would pour off. He changed one of my doses to help me drop my cholesterol count and set a goal for me to be back around 290 by September.
I got my shot then things got..."off."
Normally when I get my shot, I get a little weakness in the leg where I get the shot, and I get a little dizzy. It's only ever gone bad "once" where I got shot in my hip really did something to my leg. The shot hurt a little more than usual, but really felt like a fire burning the next day, and two weeks later I was STILL feeling a numbness.
This time, I got my shot, and everything went fine, my leg got a little weary, and I felt kinda dizzy, but as the day wore on, it got worse and worse. When I finally got home about 3PM, I felt feverish and very weary. I don't actually think it was the shot, though. It was VERY hot that day, and I don't have AC in my truck. I'd had some iced tea, not enough water, and bad sleep, and I think it all just ganged up on me. I decided maybe I'd feel better after a nap, and DEFINATELY feel better driving home at 11PM instead of 4PM in the blazing sun.
Sleepy time for Jenn from about 5PM to 10PM.
On waking up, I remembered that I had a lot of my old toys packed away in one of the closets, so I decided to take them back with me, since I now have a permanent place to live. And while looking for that box I found a box of jackets...and sheets...and silverware...and crockery. And I finally just said to myself - it's time to take these back.
This prolly wasn't the best thing to do in my state. I had a pounding headache from the fever feeling and my muscles just felt like I had no power in them at all. But I DID get them all packed into the truck and came home...but the fever and that weak feeling had me pull over at a convenience store and get about 15 minutes of nap. I made it home, unpacked my truck, watched the Paper Chase (WHAT was the appeal of that movie?! IT was just god awfully boring!), and at 7AM snuggled into my bed for a nice well deserved sleep....
TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY and THURSDAY
I woke up at...oh, dear lord...10:30 PM. I had been asleep for FIFTEEN HOURS. And my headache was still there, my muscles had ZERO energy in them, and just walking across the house was winding me. I just laid low, unpacking boxes when I felt okay, taking a LOT of tylenol, and eating little stuff here and there....I only got four hours of sleep Wednesday Night, and forced myself to get 8 hours on Thursday Night to Friday morning....
FRIDAY
Feeling MUCH better but not 100%, I got up and worked on washing the now HUGE amount of dishes and laundry we had. It's funny to see a lot of this stuff again. You don't' think you'd get so nostalgic over sheets and glasses and bowls, but you do. One of my old mugs was a gag gift from my sister, a little joke about my love of pro-rasslin'. A mug that STILL says "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!" when you press the button on it. Or these gorgeous blue glass with gold trim glasses I've always liked...and my tumbler, and salt shaker and pillows. It was 2001 all over again - the good parts. :)
Dean invited me out to see the "World's Most Annoying Band" that evening, so I got cleaned up and we went out. I enjoyed a few minutes of the show, when I noticed a group of three people at a table who had decided the band wasn't as entertaining as I was, and they were pointing and laughing at me.
I wish I had the confidence to walk up to these people, and bash them with baseball bats for incredible rudeness. Alas, I don't have the confidence, or the legal backing to do so. It really killed me, and I left the show early...dragging Dean along with me. I feel bad for him...when shit like this happens, I end up just wanting to go home, but he misses out because he hates going alone. I felt terrible about this all night, terrible about being made fun of, and terrible about everything. And yet none of it was my fault.
Emily managed to cheer me back up, though. Something that Dean doesn't do that Emily does is she shares the pain, then lifts it. Dean tries to solve it, or rationalize...and while sometimes I need that, more than often I just need to TELL someone, just to get it off my chest, and spread it around a little thinner. Emily does that in droves. Thank you Emily.
My confidence is shattered for the next month, but this more than likely means I'll have time to clean the house and get everything from the boxes put up. :)
Comics are mostly on time...last week's AWFW (or I should say TWO WEEKS ago's AWFW is re-done, so it should be up possible tomorrow, with a new episode on Monday.
Erin has quit Trinoc Con, and will not be going to the con at ALL. This makes me the exiled Elder Statesman for the web comic artists. HEaven help them.... :)
