I come not to bury Ceasar but to eat him.

Fellow Austinites! Lend me your eyes!

Since I've been living in San Marcos, I've been horrified by the amount of culinary savagery there is here. No Indian food, lame Chinese, and heaven help you if you want something that isn't Mexican.

And my god, the cereal aisle is LAME.

I did manage to buy some Quisp online, but ended up having to get six boxes worth. Even giving three to Dean, that's two boxes more than I need, and that third one will prolly go stale. So I'd rather not buy multiple boxes online again (although for Quisp, you HAVE to get it online, since that's how it's marketed).

So, I need a favor from you - I'm looking for the following cereals. Next time you're out grocery shopping look for something on this list, and let me know where it is. Next time I'm in Austin, I'll drop by and pick it up. They're not so much rare, as they're not carried everywhere:

Post Waffle Crisp
Post Oreo O's
Quaker Oats King Vitaman

and of course The Monster Trilogy:

Frankenberry
Booberry and
Count Chocula.

You don't have to buy it, I just need to know where in Austin I can get them...so next time you're shopping for groceries, keep an eye out and let me know. First two people to point me to one of the boxes gets a box of Quisp. :9

I come not to bury Ceasar but to eat him.

Fellow Austinites! Lend me your eyes!

Since I've been living in San Marcos, I've been horrified by the amount of culinary savagery there is here. No Indian food, lame Chinese, and heaven help you if you want something that isn't Mexican.

And my god, the cereal aisle is LAME.

I did manage to buy some Quisp online, but ended up having to get six boxes worth. Even giving three to Dean, that's two boxes more than I need, and that third one will prolly go stale. So I'd rather not buy multiple boxes online again (although for Quisp, you HAVE to get it online, since that's how it's marketed).

So, I need a favor from you - I'm looking for the following cereals. Next time you're out grocery shopping look for something on this list, and let me know where it is. Next time I'm in Austin, I'll drop by and pick it up. They're not so much rare, as they're not carried everywhere:

Post Waffle Crisp
Post Oreo O's
Quaker Oats King Vitaman

and of course The Monster Trilogy:

Frankenberry
Booberry and
Count Chocula.

You don't have to buy it, I just need to know where in Austin I can get them...so next time you're shopping for groceries, keep an eye out and let me know. First two people to point me to one of the boxes gets a box of Quisp. :9

Have your breakfast with the King.

Speaking of King Vitaman, I saw some commercials with him back when I was a kid. He was played by an honest to god non-animated man.

A lonely man with a crown of spoons, feeding little children in a makeshift garden.

I got this idea that perhaps he was the king of a far off land in the East, deposed by Marxist rebels, and now living in exile in the American Southwest.

He's long since become infirm and after enjoying his breakfast cereal too much, has become King Vitaman, ruler of his acre and a half in Tucson, holding court with various children as they eat his favorite cereal.

Yeah, my childhood was boring...had to get entertainment SOMEHOW. :)

Have your breakfast with the King.

Speaking of King Vitaman, I saw some commercials with him back when I was a kid. He was played by an honest to god non-animated man.

A lonely man with a crown of spoons, feeding little children in a makeshift garden.

I got this idea that perhaps he was the king of a far off land in the East, deposed by Marxist rebels, and now living in exile in the American Southwest.

He's long since become infirm and after enjoying his breakfast cereal too much, has become King Vitaman, ruler of his acre and a half in Tucson, holding court with various children as they eat his favorite cereal.

Yeah, my childhood was boring...had to get entertainment SOMEHOW. :)

Ridiculous Lucky Captain Rabbit King, Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets are for the youth!

When I was a litle kid in the heyday of the late 70s and early 80s, I would see all these lovely commercials for cereal, and man, they SOUNDED so so so good! All these kids eating cereal and having sugar highs and screaming about honeycomb being big-yeah-yeah-yeah.

I never got any.

My mom wasn't being mean or nasty, but was being pretty health conscious. We only ever had corn flakes. If we were good, we had lucky charms. Anything else was verboten. And in fact, mom went out of her way to tell us that all the other cereals tasted just like Lucky Charms and Corn Flakes.

YOU DON'T QUESTION MOM, so I believed her, and seeing as I really didn't like Corn Flakes, and eventually Lucky Charms even became kinda boring, I stopped eating cereal alltogether.

Along with the boring cereals, my mother only bough watery tasteless skim milk. Now, as a kid, I didn't KNOW it was skim milk. For me, it was always just "milk." Thin watery barely any difference between it and water milk. I only had it with cereal, and when I stopped eating cereal, I stopped drinking milk. Considering I know have the calcium leeching estrogen in my veins, this was a really bad move.

Eventually, I learned there was a difference between the cereals, and between the milks, but by that time I was 15 or 16 and had gone so long without them, they just weren't part of my frame of reference anymore. I hadn't had it for so long, I didn't need it now.

Adding insult to injury, in 1995 Waffle Crisp debuted to millions of people by putting a free small box of the stuff in the sunday paper. They did this by giving it it's own self-sealed paket in the Sunday Paper plastic sleeves. At the time I was making a living out of throwing newspapers, and I had about 400 of these boxes in the garage. I dutifully packed a Huge Sunday Newspaper in each sleeve, threw it in the truck, and then went out to deliver it.

In those days, this was how I threw the Sunday newspapers - my dad drove the truck down it's route, with a copy of my route list. He'd point out which houses needed papers, and me, in the back of the truck, would throw them into the driveway. The Waffle Crisp bags, though...they didn't fit the paper right. After throwing 10 papers, and having all 10 paers fly out of the bags, suddenly 400 papers was beginning to look like it would be a chore.

I walked that whole route with the truck creeping along as I gently placed each paper on the driveway to keep the papers from splattering all over the damned lawn. After six hours of that, I swore I'd never EVER eat Waffle Crisp, even though there were about 50 or so boxes left over. After sitting in their bags for a day or two, my mother threw them out (they're not healthy!)

Fast forward to 1996, I move in with Dean, and am shocked, utterly SHOCKED, to find in his pantry TEN BOXES OF CEREAL. Opened. All going at once. NONE OF THEM CORNFLAKES OR LUCKY CHARMS. Dean is an avid ceral buff, buying the latest and greatest cereals from anywhere and everywhere that catches his fancy. Movie Tie In? Let's get it! Strange new brand? Let's get it! Crappy store brand with amusing name? I got it!

Dean was also an avid milk drinker, resulting in what are prolly the densest bones on the planet. For me, milk was just "thick water" so I didn't really touch it. I kinda stayed away from the cereal for a while, not sure what to have from the buffet, but eventually curiosty got the better of me, and I had...Trix.

After a bowl of that, I knew why that damned rabbit loved his Trix. And even the milk, which was whole milk, was better. After that, I was hooked - all those sugary barely nutritional cereals were at my disposal. Even the Waffle Crisp I swore on my mother's goat I'd never have became one of my favorite cereals.

I'm not as bad as Dean is about getting the latest and greatest cereals (my standard is Special K, when I feel like splurging THEN I get the good stuff), man, I do loves me some junk breakfast, now. When I go to my parents, I sometimes look in the pantry to see what my parents have on their breakfast plates. Mom's branching out - when she splurges, she gets....Grape Nuts.

Well, there's no accounting for taste. :)

Ridiculous Lucky Captain Rabbit King, Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets are for the youth!

When I was a litle kid in the heyday of the late 70s and early 80s, I would see all these lovely commercials for cereal, and man, they SOUNDED so so so good! All these kids eating cereal and having sugar highs and screaming about honeycomb being big-yeah-yeah-yeah.

I never got any.

My mom wasn't being mean or nasty, but was being pretty health conscious. We only ever had corn flakes. If we were good, we had lucky charms. Anything else was verboten. And in fact, mom went out of her way to tell us that all the other cereals tasted just like Lucky Charms and Corn Flakes.

YOU DON'T QUESTION MOM, so I believed her, and seeing as I really didn't like Corn Flakes, and eventually Lucky Charms even became kinda boring, I stopped eating cereal alltogether.

Along with the boring cereals, my mother only bough watery tasteless skim milk. Now, as a kid, I didn't KNOW it was skim milk. For me, it was always just "milk." Thin watery barely any difference between it and water milk. I only had it with cereal, and when I stopped eating cereal, I stopped drinking milk. Considering I know have the calcium leeching estrogen in my veins, this was a really bad move.

Eventually, I learned there was a difference between the cereals, and between the milks, but by that time I was 15 or 16 and had gone so long without them, they just weren't part of my frame of reference anymore. I hadn't had it for so long, I didn't need it now.

Adding insult to injury, in 1995 Waffle Crisp debuted to millions of people by putting a free small box of the stuff in the sunday paper. They did this by giving it it's own self-sealed paket in the Sunday Paper plastic sleeves. At the time I was making a living out of throwing newspapers, and I had about 400 of these boxes in the garage. I dutifully packed a Huge Sunday Newspaper in each sleeve, threw it in the truck, and then went out to deliver it.

In those days, this was how I threw the Sunday newspapers - my dad drove the truck down it's route, with a copy of my route list. He'd point out which houses needed papers, and me, in the back of the truck, would throw them into the driveway. The Waffle Crisp bags, though...they didn't fit the paper right. After throwing 10 papers, and having all 10 paers fly out of the bags, suddenly 400 papers was beginning to look like it would be a chore.

I walked that whole route with the truck creeping along as I gently placed each paper on the driveway to keep the papers from splattering all over the damned lawn. After six hours of that, I swore I'd never EVER eat Waffle Crisp, even though there were about 50 or so boxes left over. After sitting in their bags for a day or two, my mother threw them out (they're not healthy!)

Fast forward to 1996, I move in with Dean, and am shocked, utterly SHOCKED, to find in his pantry TEN BOXES OF CEREAL. Opened. All going at once. NONE OF THEM CORNFLAKES OR LUCKY CHARMS. Dean is an avid ceral buff, buying the latest and greatest cereals from anywhere and everywhere that catches his fancy. Movie Tie In? Let's get it! Strange new brand? Let's get it! Crappy store brand with amusing name? I got it!

Dean was also an avid milk drinker, resulting in what are prolly the densest bones on the planet. For me, milk was just "thick water" so I didn't really touch it. I kinda stayed away from the cereal for a while, not sure what to have from the buffet, but eventually curiosty got the better of me, and I had...Trix.

After a bowl of that, I knew why that damned rabbit loved his Trix. And even the milk, which was whole milk, was better. After that, I was hooked - all those sugary barely nutritional cereals were at my disposal. Even the Waffle Crisp I swore on my mother's goat I'd never have became one of my favorite cereals.

I'm not as bad as Dean is about getting the latest and greatest cereals (my standard is Special K, when I feel like splurging THEN I get the good stuff), man, I do loves me some junk breakfast, now. When I go to my parents, I sometimes look in the pantry to see what my parents have on their breakfast plates. Mom's branching out - when she splurges, she gets....Grape Nuts.

Well, there's no accounting for taste. :)