(no subject)

I woke up from one of the most horrible dreams I've had in a long long time.

IT was just wierd stuff, like my dad buying a laptop for his truck frmo a convenience store because he loved the one we gave him, and my mother pulling a perfect stunt squealing parking job and getting the fourof us to toss a car over a cliff for her. Funny stuff.

Till after we tossed the car over, I suddenly got a sharp pain in my chest. My hand immediately went to my chest, and I could literally feel the veins popping out through my ribs. PRessing on them made the pain much worse. Then I felt my heart stop beating, I collapsed, and woke up with start. No pain, no hurting, no nothing.

Dreams like that can frighten me - in my family there isn't just the possibility of heart disease and diabetes, it's a fact. You WILL get them no matter what you do. My lifestyle isn't exactly healthy, I admit. I don't get much excersize and eat terribly. But to actually have a dream version of aortic rip of somekind, scary as hell.

I woke up later with that same migrainish headache on my left side that hasn't gone away. I'm at work, though - but if it continues, I will be going home.

Somedays I wonder if I'm very very very sick, just don't know it, and this is my body's way of telling me there's something wrong.

(no subject)

I woke up from one of the most horrible dreams I've had in a long long time.

IT was just wierd stuff, like my dad buying a laptop for his truck frmo a convenience store because he loved the one we gave him, and my mother pulling a perfect stunt squealing parking job and getting the fourof us to toss a car over a cliff for her. Funny stuff.

Till after we tossed the car over, I suddenly got a sharp pain in my chest. My hand immediately went to my chest, and I could literally feel the veins popping out through my ribs. PRessing on them made the pain much worse. Then I felt my heart stop beating, I collapsed, and woke up with start. No pain, no hurting, no nothing.

Dreams like that can frighten me - in my family there isn't just the possibility of heart disease and diabetes, it's a fact. You WILL get them no matter what you do. My lifestyle isn't exactly healthy, I admit. I don't get much excersize and eat terribly. But to actually have a dream version of aortic rip of somekind, scary as hell.

I woke up later with that same migrainish headache on my left side that hasn't gone away. I'm at work, though - but if it continues, I will be going home.

Somedays I wonder if I'm very very very sick, just don't know it, and this is my body's way of telling me there's something wrong.

Sonny Bono and Bono Bono are really fun.

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection... they find only death... fire... loss... disillusionment... the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

...

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection... they find only death... fire... loss... disillusionment... the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

...

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature...

Sonny Bono and Bono Bono are really fun.

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection... they find only death... fire... loss... disillusionment... the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

...

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection... they find only death... fire... loss... disillusionment... the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

...

He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature...