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Jan. 28th, 2012
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Jan. 28th, 2012 11:32 pmWriting while I'm in a foul mood: "Growing up Trans - It Isn't All Beer and Skittles."
It isn’t all Beer and Skittles [INSERT AFTER FIRST IMPRESSIONS]
There are two major social changes that happen when you change genders.
The first is dealing with your new life as a woman. Personally, I find it much harder than life as a man, but that’s mostly due to the second social change. We’ll get into that a bit later.
[EDIT: WOMEN’S SOCIAL CHANGE SEGMENT GOES HERE]
So that second social change I talked about. It’s a much more malevolent one, and one that, while it’s gotten better with time, continues to be a significant part of my lives.
I have been called “an unfortunate looking woman.” While I have breasts and wear my hair long, my body still went through puberty as a male and it’s shape is all wrong. My shoulders are huge, my ribcage is a barrel, I have no hips or much of a waist. Even with all the best primping and pruning, if you look close enough, you see the cracks in the veneer.
And there are people who enjoy finding those cracks and prying them open.
Changing your sex is not something considered inside the societal norm. Knowing that, you have to expect some pushback from society. Most of that pushback has been pretty light. A whispered comment. A glaring look. A chuckle and a point. This is the kind of stuff I can ignore, if I’m ready for it. If I know I’m going into a situation where this may be an issue, just a decent pre-game pep-talk to myself is all I need. Don’t expect trouble, but be prepared for it.
But some of that pushback has not been…pleasant.
I do not like eating at restaurants. I’ve had things done to my food. When going out, I often call ahead for takeout, or go through drive-thrus. I’ll eat in at buffets or other places where food is cooked or assembled in front of me. But I no longer like eating out.
I have been menaced, threatened and stalked. I’ve nearly been arrested for using a bathroom. Websites and social groups exist for the sole purpose of outing and harassing transgender folks. Our living the lives we must, especially when it does you no immediate harm, doesn’t warrant that kind of abuse or attention.
Some of us have been killed.
I was often told, when coming out to women before my transition, that “Life as a woman isn’t easier than life as a man.” That’s very true.
But being transgendered is no bed of roses either.
It isn’t all Beer and Skittles [INSERT AFTER FIRST IMPRESSIONS]
There are two major social changes that happen when you change genders.
The first is dealing with your new life as a woman. Personally, I find it much harder than life as a man, but that’s mostly due to the second social change. We’ll get into that a bit later.
[EDIT: WOMEN’S SOCIAL CHANGE SEGMENT GOES HERE]
So that second social change I talked about. It’s a much more malevolent one, and one that, while it’s gotten better with time, continues to be a significant part of my lives.
I have been called “an unfortunate looking woman.” While I have breasts and wear my hair long, my body still went through puberty as a male and it’s shape is all wrong. My shoulders are huge, my ribcage is a barrel, I have no hips or much of a waist. Even with all the best primping and pruning, if you look close enough, you see the cracks in the veneer.
And there are people who enjoy finding those cracks and prying them open.
Changing your sex is not something considered inside the societal norm. Knowing that, you have to expect some pushback from society. Most of that pushback has been pretty light. A whispered comment. A glaring look. A chuckle and a point. This is the kind of stuff I can ignore, if I’m ready for it. If I know I’m going into a situation where this may be an issue, just a decent pre-game pep-talk to myself is all I need. Don’t expect trouble, but be prepared for it.
But some of that pushback has not been…pleasant.
I do not like eating at restaurants. I’ve had things done to my food. When going out, I often call ahead for takeout, or go through drive-thrus. I’ll eat in at buffets or other places where food is cooked or assembled in front of me. But I no longer like eating out.
I have been menaced, threatened and stalked. I’ve nearly been arrested for using a bathroom. Websites and social groups exist for the sole purpose of outing and harassing transgender folks. Our living the lives we must, especially when it does you no immediate harm, doesn’t warrant that kind of abuse or attention.
Some of us have been killed.
I was often told, when coming out to women before my transition, that “Life as a woman isn’t easier than life as a man.” That’s very true.
But being transgendered is no bed of roses either.