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Jan. 3rd, 2013
(no subject)
Jan. 3rd, 2013 11:07 amSleep is my number one enemy, and number one friend.
If left to my own devices, with no alarm clocks and going to bed only when I'm tired, I'll get to sleep about 8AM and wake up at 4PM. I'll go to bed sleepy, I'll wake up refreshed. Life doesn't work that way, though, and for years, most of my performance issues come from showhorning a normal sleep schedule in where my body just won't do it.
The closest compromise I can get to getting decent sleep with a decent job is going to bed at 4AM and waking up at 12PM. This is great for jobs that start in the afternoon, and I was able to have awesome attendance at a job that started at 2PM. I wasn't sleepy when I went to bed, but I wasn't a zombie when I woke up.
But for the last four years, I've had to get up at 8AM to get to work at 9:30/10AM. This means, in order to get eight hours of sleep, I need to go to bed at midnight. This never happens. I can put myself to bed at midnight - and I'll just lie there, awake. I just can't "shut off." Not usually until about 3 or so. Which makes getting up a 8 a chore. In some cases, I'll sleep right through an alarm. Or two. Or will make odd dream-induced excuses to shut them off ("I can be late for work...the ants are taking over today, anyways").
Usually, I end up in bed about 2AM, waking up at 8, groggily. Six hours gives me basic functionality, but I often fall asleep in the shower, or need to overdose on caffiene to stay awake (which makes me a pain to be with). Some days I get no sleep at all. Those days are never my best.
When the weekend comes, I'm usually so exhausted, I can get to bed at least by 1. But I'm so exhausted and sleep deprived, i'll sleep ten to twelve hours both days. I'm great that second day, but the cycle repeats and I get worse and worse as the week goes by.
I've had sleep therapy, medication, sleep hygiene lessons, all work great for about a week or two, then my body just decides to not sleep again. The one medication that did work (it didn't put me to sleep, but allowed me to lie down and go straight into sleep without sitting there staring at the wall) messed with my mood so badly, I had to stop taking it.
Retirement is still a long way away, and given the state of our economy and social programs, I doubt I'll be able to partake in it. But the one thing I'm looking so so so forward to, is sleeping on my own schedule again. It's not fun being a zombie for most of the day, and I do my best work at night, art/writing wise. In the meantime, my art and writing suffer, and so does my performance at my paying job.
Someone hurry up and invent the time dialation bubble. That way, if I happen to be sleepy, or want to sleep in, I can turn the bubble on and sleep (or continue to sleep, if that stupid alarm is too early). Maybe when the ants take over, we'll get it.
If left to my own devices, with no alarm clocks and going to bed only when I'm tired, I'll get to sleep about 8AM and wake up at 4PM. I'll go to bed sleepy, I'll wake up refreshed. Life doesn't work that way, though, and for years, most of my performance issues come from showhorning a normal sleep schedule in where my body just won't do it.
The closest compromise I can get to getting decent sleep with a decent job is going to bed at 4AM and waking up at 12PM. This is great for jobs that start in the afternoon, and I was able to have awesome attendance at a job that started at 2PM. I wasn't sleepy when I went to bed, but I wasn't a zombie when I woke up.
But for the last four years, I've had to get up at 8AM to get to work at 9:30/10AM. This means, in order to get eight hours of sleep, I need to go to bed at midnight. This never happens. I can put myself to bed at midnight - and I'll just lie there, awake. I just can't "shut off." Not usually until about 3 or so. Which makes getting up a 8 a chore. In some cases, I'll sleep right through an alarm. Or two. Or will make odd dream-induced excuses to shut them off ("I can be late for work...the ants are taking over today, anyways").
Usually, I end up in bed about 2AM, waking up at 8, groggily. Six hours gives me basic functionality, but I often fall asleep in the shower, or need to overdose on caffiene to stay awake (which makes me a pain to be with). Some days I get no sleep at all. Those days are never my best.
When the weekend comes, I'm usually so exhausted, I can get to bed at least by 1. But I'm so exhausted and sleep deprived, i'll sleep ten to twelve hours both days. I'm great that second day, but the cycle repeats and I get worse and worse as the week goes by.
I've had sleep therapy, medication, sleep hygiene lessons, all work great for about a week or two, then my body just decides to not sleep again. The one medication that did work (it didn't put me to sleep, but allowed me to lie down and go straight into sleep without sitting there staring at the wall) messed with my mood so badly, I had to stop taking it.
Retirement is still a long way away, and given the state of our economy and social programs, I doubt I'll be able to partake in it. But the one thing I'm looking so so so forward to, is sleeping on my own schedule again. It's not fun being a zombie for most of the day, and I do my best work at night, art/writing wise. In the meantime, my art and writing suffer, and so does my performance at my paying job.
Someone hurry up and invent the time dialation bubble. That way, if I happen to be sleepy, or want to sleep in, I can turn the bubble on and sleep (or continue to sleep, if that stupid alarm is too early). Maybe when the ants take over, we'll get it.