"So, you got a free tire, and a new phone, and only spent $60 for both. Sounds like your bad luck actually paid off!" "Nah, it just slept in today. It had a busy night last night."
On the 40th Anniversary of the ascension of the current Imperatrix of the People's Socialist Democratic Federated Republic of Texas, the Imperatrix encourages y'all to do something nice for yourselves. On pain of death.
Donations for the Jubilee Celebrations are accepted at the government's website.