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dolariAgain, another day of nothing. A breakfast of pancakes and eggs, and a dinner of fried chicken. I'm getting mighty tired of fried chicken, but it's really all I got right now.
Had a nice long conversation with Elenderel about touching, and love. We were talking about Deener's comments about me being more of a friend than a lover. I'm a pretty distant person, I believe....I don't like to be touched or touch. Well, it's not that I don't like it as I don't expect it, nor do I do it. I remember being touched by a friend in an affectionate way and flinching away. This wasn't something that was done between friends. I never held hands with anyone. I never hugged anyone unless they were a close close friend. Erin gets hugs, Alison would most likely get a hug, Steph does, but other friends like Wendy or Dave or Terri would get waves. I'm not a touchy feely person.
I remember talking to Erin about this. I mentioned Deener layed her head in my lap. I thought it was inappropriate between friends. Erin mentioned that she did this with friends all the time, and the only reason she never did it with me is that she got the idea that it just wasn't something I do.
My problem with Deener, was I didn't love her enough, it seems. But it was the best I could do. Love means so much to people, and so little to me. I'm not cold by any means. I just don't love like people seem to want me to. And they're put off by it.
Also, I've gone and done something rash.
I've announced my script on a web site. This means three, if not FOUR, people I don't know about will peruse my script. I hope it's good. I hope they won't be disappointed. I hope I haven't made a fool of myself.
I hope they like it.
Had a nice long conversation with Elenderel about touching, and love. We were talking about Deener's comments about me being more of a friend than a lover. I'm a pretty distant person, I believe....I don't like to be touched or touch. Well, it's not that I don't like it as I don't expect it, nor do I do it. I remember being touched by a friend in an affectionate way and flinching away. This wasn't something that was done between friends. I never held hands with anyone. I never hugged anyone unless they were a close close friend. Erin gets hugs, Alison would most likely get a hug, Steph does, but other friends like Wendy or Dave or Terri would get waves. I'm not a touchy feely person.
I remember talking to Erin about this. I mentioned Deener layed her head in my lap. I thought it was inappropriate between friends. Erin mentioned that she did this with friends all the time, and the only reason she never did it with me is that she got the idea that it just wasn't something I do.
My problem with Deener, was I didn't love her enough, it seems. But it was the best I could do. Love means so much to people, and so little to me. I'm not cold by any means. I just don't love like people seem to want me to. And they're put off by it.
Also, I've gone and done something rash.
I've announced my script on a web site. This means three, if not FOUR, people I don't know about will peruse my script. I hope it's good. I hope they won't be disappointed. I hope I haven't made a fool of myself.
I hope they like it.
