Darn tootin', nephew breath
Jan. 6th, 2002 11:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariBTW, Hollywood producers: I have a LotR rip-off I'm willing to sell. Wanna buy it from me? It's cheap. :)
I'd forgotten about yesterdays "Tribal living" post, so lets get that outta the way, first.
In my Mom's side of the family, there is no real privacy. Mainly because the eleven children my grandmother had all lived in the same two bedroom house. This has been passed on and on through the succeeding generations (There're five not counting my deceased grandmother), and we have roughly 400 people in this extended family. One of the things all the brothers and sisters have is a complete lack of the understanding of privacy. They literally come and go as they please into each others houses without a knock or anything. Which, I think, is a cool thing. But in our family, my father does NOT like that kind of behavior. Still, they come in whenever they want, they just get a grumble from my dad AFTER they leave.
So where is this going? Well...I was watching a show about a tribe in Brazil. Two shows actually, and realized how close to tribal living my mom's family really is. It's almost communal, and would probably make any Marxist proud.
Personally, I don't like the invasion of privacy, mainly brought about from years of children raiding my toy coffers and breaking everything in sight because mother didn't believe in locks or in hiding toys from others. I remember when Dad put locks on our doors...mom cried. A lot. Then she showed the kids how to undo the locks which made for very strange awakenings once I started sleeping days instead of nights.
Anyways, yesterday, I was in the shower when a seven year old managed to unlock the door, walk in and ask me too hook up the Dreamcast so he could play a game. In the shower. Naked.
On one hand, it's really funny and silly. On another hand, it's rather disturbing because this is STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE in this family. I've done it. It only got me now because I'm in mid-form right now.
Just another reminder as to why I gotta get outta this house.
Anyways - seeing as today is a no nothing day (Well, almost no nothing - I'm watching the Final Fantasy movie...I want the people who did the CGI to do one of my stories one day. I think it'll be the only way I get to see the story I want done the way I want it done), I'll talk a little about what happened New Years Eve. Some of you might think this is utterly poppycock, silliness, might even get a bit mad at me. I already know one person who'll at least giggle at what I've done. Nothing explicit, nothing gross, nothing disgusting...just...well...caveat emptor.
For a long time now, I had plans for December 31st, 2001. Mainly because the year was so incredibly bad for me. I know it was bad for other people, but it's important to specifically mention that it was bad for me - it's a selfish though, yes, and it's important later on. Bear with me on this.
What I had planned was to find as many 2001 calendars as I could find and burn them on the eve of 2002. A futile gesture...kinda like flipping the bird at the year. But one of defiance at what the year has brought on me, and on all of us in general.
December 31st, in the morning, I realize I have no 2001 calendars. One DOES exist - hidden in one of the many boxes I've never unpacked...and hell if I can find it. SO I figure...shit...the calendar burning is off. What else could we do to kick the corpse of 2001 around. And then it comes to me.
Why curse the darkness when you can light a candle? Why not...bless the new year?
Yeah, I rolled my eyes as well.
But. If it could be done...I started trying to figure out how I could do. I could try to bless myself for the year, or at least my family and friends, who all seemed to have a tough time this year. But there were so many, how could I bless all that without some kind of proxy? I decided that I could just simply try to find a spot where I could look over the entire city, and hope whatever I did, if I did anything at all, could find it's way to those who needed it. That place? On the road to my fictional city of MArysville. There's a spot where it CLIMBS up a plateau, which looks over the city of Boerne and San Antonio. I can do it there.
Or so I thought. Mom and Dad were going to a party. I was not invited. My sister was going to a party. No vehicle to GET to Ranger Creek Road. Damn.
But then I came up with another idea. Why not do it here? Here you HAD a proxy. The house. And everyone you care about has been here, even you Livejournalers have been here, via the computer. Let's try to bless the year by blessing the house and everyone who has EVER been in it.
I looked through the Real Magic book Erin had gotten me, and in it he had the very basics on creating a ritual. I attempted to write up one...but I simply couldn't do it. I didn't have the belief I needed for it to work. Without belief the placebo effect wouldn't work, and here I was working with TWO placebos. The ritual and the house. I sat in my chair, and tried to figure out what could be done.
And then I had it.
Hot damn, I had it.
I've recently come to the conclusion, through friends, that my writing curse isn't so much a curse, as it's a wild and uncontrolled "Blast" of energy that affects stuff around me. More than that, the energy isn't going so much into creating the story, as it is to creating PEOPLE that I write. I've often said that the people in my stories are just that - people. Not characters, but fully formed people. People who can (and most likely WILL before the end of this entry) write through me. Consider it a form of controlled Multiple Personality Disorder.
And one of those characters has absolutely full belief in the ability to bless.
Andrea. Particularly the 27 year old Andrea. At 27, she BELIEVES she is an angel incarnate.
But the most any of my characters have ever done was write through me.
So, I left to go pick up some dinner before Mom and Dad left for their party. I pulled out Andrea, and she said she was up for this blessing - no problem. And SHE was the one who came up with the key to the last problem: She said she could do it...if she could "Come out."
If it was Zand or Mark or any of my other characters, I'd have said ABSOLUTELY NOT. No way. No how. But Andrea, I had built to be an Angel, and at that point in her life, who whole being revolves around serving as an angel. She was, to me, completely trustworthy. I asked her if she COULD do it, and she said she wasn't sure, but she'd try. Once I got home, I waited for my sister and parents to leave...and Andrea took over. It was a weird kind of "shift." And the rest of the night was almost a weird dream. Andrea told me it was because we both needed to do this together, and not just her.
And because she's the one who took it from there, I'll let her tell you about what happened, in her own words. The joys of being a writer.
Um...hi. I'm going to try and let you know what happened that night. Jenn says to just talk, but I'm a little embarrassed by it all, just like she is. She won't admit it, but she's beet red right now. Anyways, once I managed to take over we both worked on what we were going to do that evening. It was 8PM and I had figured it all out by 8:15. I'd preformed blessings in my story a few times and I knew what needed to be done.
And as a thank you, Jenn gave me the rest of the evening to myself.
I'd never been "real" before. And I didn't really know what to expect. But it was very cool. I read a few things on her computer, which is much better than mine, and ever read a few books.
But mostly I touched things. I liked the feel of the tablecloth on Jenn's desk, the bumpy walls, the fishnet on the inside of her green windbreaker was a feeling I'd never felt before. So I wore it the rest of the night. Jenn had also left me some fajita nachos, and they were really good. In our stories, we have a rule, no eating unless absolutely necessary. I never knew why, but it's one of our very few rules. I also drank some milk and had an orange. I doubt Jenn's stomach liked all this at once, but I did (smile).
We worked on some stuff together, like redesigning the background of her web page to pass time (she showed me how to do what I wanted and she's still using it), we watched the ball drop together at 11PM, and at around 11:30 I went into the backyard. We really didn't have the specifics of a ritual down, other than we were going to bless Jenn and the house, and everyone who ever stepped foot in it. I found that to be incredibly selfish, so I changed that bit. For the next fifteen minutes, I gathered up as much energy as I could by myself. Jenn allowed me use of a "bottle" she'd created to house energy in for even more. Jenn wanted to do this at the stroke of midnight, and the only clock we had was in the kitchen inside, so I would have to break out of the ritual to make sure my timing was right. I'd need more energy to maintain the concentration.
For the next fifteen minutes I called upon the powers that made me an angel and used Jenn's bottle and simply gathered it all up into a huge ball in both my hands. And then instead of pushing it into the house, I took it, and blessed the entire planet and the year, and punched all that energy into the Earth itself. It was 12:02. I made sure that I saw it going around the Earth and then I was gone. I'd used everything I had in that punch and I lost hold of Jenn. I prodded her to thank the powers that made me an angel, and disappeared for a while.
I was shocked at the change in the ritual, but she was right, it was selfish of me to try and just make things right for just me and my friends...and the way I created her, she wouldn't want to do that. I did my best to fumble through a finisher which paled to Andrea's start, but it got done. And I've literally been riding a high from it since January 1. The high is subsiding, but...well...it's still there, and very nice.
I also think I have a little more confidence in myself now. If a fictional character can do, maybe I can. And no, this wont' be a regular occurrence at all. It will not happen again, we both agreed on this.
I'd forgotten about yesterdays "Tribal living" post, so lets get that outta the way, first.
In my Mom's side of the family, there is no real privacy. Mainly because the eleven children my grandmother had all lived in the same two bedroom house. This has been passed on and on through the succeeding generations (There're five not counting my deceased grandmother), and we have roughly 400 people in this extended family. One of the things all the brothers and sisters have is a complete lack of the understanding of privacy. They literally come and go as they please into each others houses without a knock or anything. Which, I think, is a cool thing. But in our family, my father does NOT like that kind of behavior. Still, they come in whenever they want, they just get a grumble from my dad AFTER they leave.
So where is this going? Well...I was watching a show about a tribe in Brazil. Two shows actually, and realized how close to tribal living my mom's family really is. It's almost communal, and would probably make any Marxist proud.
Personally, I don't like the invasion of privacy, mainly brought about from years of children raiding my toy coffers and breaking everything in sight because mother didn't believe in locks or in hiding toys from others. I remember when Dad put locks on our doors...mom cried. A lot. Then she showed the kids how to undo the locks which made for very strange awakenings once I started sleeping days instead of nights.
Anyways, yesterday, I was in the shower when a seven year old managed to unlock the door, walk in and ask me too hook up the Dreamcast so he could play a game. In the shower. Naked.
On one hand, it's really funny and silly. On another hand, it's rather disturbing because this is STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE in this family. I've done it. It only got me now because I'm in mid-form right now.
Just another reminder as to why I gotta get outta this house.
Anyways - seeing as today is a no nothing day (Well, almost no nothing - I'm watching the Final Fantasy movie...I want the people who did the CGI to do one of my stories one day. I think it'll be the only way I get to see the story I want done the way I want it done), I'll talk a little about what happened New Years Eve. Some of you might think this is utterly poppycock, silliness, might even get a bit mad at me. I already know one person who'll at least giggle at what I've done. Nothing explicit, nothing gross, nothing disgusting...just...well...caveat emptor.
For a long time now, I had plans for December 31st, 2001. Mainly because the year was so incredibly bad for me. I know it was bad for other people, but it's important to specifically mention that it was bad for me - it's a selfish though, yes, and it's important later on. Bear with me on this.
What I had planned was to find as many 2001 calendars as I could find and burn them on the eve of 2002. A futile gesture...kinda like flipping the bird at the year. But one of defiance at what the year has brought on me, and on all of us in general.
December 31st, in the morning, I realize I have no 2001 calendars. One DOES exist - hidden in one of the many boxes I've never unpacked...and hell if I can find it. SO I figure...shit...the calendar burning is off. What else could we do to kick the corpse of 2001 around. And then it comes to me.
Why curse the darkness when you can light a candle? Why not...bless the new year?
Yeah, I rolled my eyes as well.
But. If it could be done...I started trying to figure out how I could do. I could try to bless myself for the year, or at least my family and friends, who all seemed to have a tough time this year. But there were so many, how could I bless all that without some kind of proxy? I decided that I could just simply try to find a spot where I could look over the entire city, and hope whatever I did, if I did anything at all, could find it's way to those who needed it. That place? On the road to my fictional city of MArysville. There's a spot where it CLIMBS up a plateau, which looks over the city of Boerne and San Antonio. I can do it there.
Or so I thought. Mom and Dad were going to a party. I was not invited. My sister was going to a party. No vehicle to GET to Ranger Creek Road. Damn.
But then I came up with another idea. Why not do it here? Here you HAD a proxy. The house. And everyone you care about has been here, even you Livejournalers have been here, via the computer. Let's try to bless the year by blessing the house and everyone who has EVER been in it.
I looked through the Real Magic book Erin had gotten me, and in it he had the very basics on creating a ritual. I attempted to write up one...but I simply couldn't do it. I didn't have the belief I needed for it to work. Without belief the placebo effect wouldn't work, and here I was working with TWO placebos. The ritual and the house. I sat in my chair, and tried to figure out what could be done.
And then I had it.
Hot damn, I had it.
I've recently come to the conclusion, through friends, that my writing curse isn't so much a curse, as it's a wild and uncontrolled "Blast" of energy that affects stuff around me. More than that, the energy isn't going so much into creating the story, as it is to creating PEOPLE that I write. I've often said that the people in my stories are just that - people. Not characters, but fully formed people. People who can (and most likely WILL before the end of this entry) write through me. Consider it a form of controlled Multiple Personality Disorder.
And one of those characters has absolutely full belief in the ability to bless.
Andrea. Particularly the 27 year old Andrea. At 27, she BELIEVES she is an angel incarnate.
But the most any of my characters have ever done was write through me.
So, I left to go pick up some dinner before Mom and Dad left for their party. I pulled out Andrea, and she said she was up for this blessing - no problem. And SHE was the one who came up with the key to the last problem: She said she could do it...if she could "Come out."
If it was Zand or Mark or any of my other characters, I'd have said ABSOLUTELY NOT. No way. No how. But Andrea, I had built to be an Angel, and at that point in her life, who whole being revolves around serving as an angel. She was, to me, completely trustworthy. I asked her if she COULD do it, and she said she wasn't sure, but she'd try. Once I got home, I waited for my sister and parents to leave...and Andrea took over. It was a weird kind of "shift." And the rest of the night was almost a weird dream. Andrea told me it was because we both needed to do this together, and not just her.
And because she's the one who took it from there, I'll let her tell you about what happened, in her own words. The joys of being a writer.
Um...hi. I'm going to try and let you know what happened that night. Jenn says to just talk, but I'm a little embarrassed by it all, just like she is. She won't admit it, but she's beet red right now. Anyways, once I managed to take over we both worked on what we were going to do that evening. It was 8PM and I had figured it all out by 8:15. I'd preformed blessings in my story a few times and I knew what needed to be done.
And as a thank you, Jenn gave me the rest of the evening to myself.
I'd never been "real" before. And I didn't really know what to expect. But it was very cool. I read a few things on her computer, which is much better than mine, and ever read a few books.
But mostly I touched things. I liked the feel of the tablecloth on Jenn's desk, the bumpy walls, the fishnet on the inside of her green windbreaker was a feeling I'd never felt before. So I wore it the rest of the night. Jenn had also left me some fajita nachos, and they were really good. In our stories, we have a rule, no eating unless absolutely necessary. I never knew why, but it's one of our very few rules. I also drank some milk and had an orange. I doubt Jenn's stomach liked all this at once, but I did (smile).
We worked on some stuff together, like redesigning the background of her web page to pass time (she showed me how to do what I wanted and she's still using it), we watched the ball drop together at 11PM, and at around 11:30 I went into the backyard. We really didn't have the specifics of a ritual down, other than we were going to bless Jenn and the house, and everyone who ever stepped foot in it. I found that to be incredibly selfish, so I changed that bit. For the next fifteen minutes, I gathered up as much energy as I could by myself. Jenn allowed me use of a "bottle" she'd created to house energy in for even more. Jenn wanted to do this at the stroke of midnight, and the only clock we had was in the kitchen inside, so I would have to break out of the ritual to make sure my timing was right. I'd need more energy to maintain the concentration.
For the next fifteen minutes I called upon the powers that made me an angel and used Jenn's bottle and simply gathered it all up into a huge ball in both my hands. And then instead of pushing it into the house, I took it, and blessed the entire planet and the year, and punched all that energy into the Earth itself. It was 12:02. I made sure that I saw it going around the Earth and then I was gone. I'd used everything I had in that punch and I lost hold of Jenn. I prodded her to thank the powers that made me an angel, and disappeared for a while.
I was shocked at the change in the ritual, but she was right, it was selfish of me to try and just make things right for just me and my friends...and the way I created her, she wouldn't want to do that. I did my best to fumble through a finisher which paled to Andrea's start, but it got done. And I've literally been riding a high from it since January 1. The high is subsiding, but...well...it's still there, and very nice.
I also think I have a little more confidence in myself now. If a fictional character can do, maybe I can. And no, this wont' be a regular occurrence at all. It will not happen again, we both agreed on this.
