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dolari10 Years Ago (1992): I was busy acing my drafting classes with 98s and 99s. It was the only class I completely failed the last gradig period because I COULD. I got an 11 that last six weeks because I couldn't have cared less. I still passed the class with an overall average of 84. Too bad I didn't really pass much else. I had just finished finalizing what was then the eight and ninth books of the Polychronicon. I was enjoying my humanities class. I was hating my life as a boy. I had good friends who were always around me, and one friend in particular who was about to get me in big trouble. I had a piece of shit 8088 computer that was running Dos 2,1. My favorite games were text based adventures I bought in the mid 80s.
8 Years Ago (1994): I had become Queen of Usenet. I discovered video games. I was quickly failing at University. I had two good friends who I kept with me at all times. I was working a very shitty job at the same time, and, frankly, I was ready to just pack it all in. I had joined, and quit, a TS support group. I biked like you wouldn't believe, including a 45 mile trip to my grandmothers house, and a 60 mile trip to Seguin. By this time, I had begiun work on A Different Perspective....
7 Years Ago (1995): I was the Ultimate Queen of Alt.Games.MK. My suicide attempt. Life with the most remarkable woman I ever knew, Geri, who had a real live case of Multiple PErsonality Disorder. I learned more from her in six months than from 21 years with my parents. To the point where I was considered family and was even brought in on a family meeting of taking care of the her grandkids when she had her heart attack. In 1995, I was living with Amy and Che in Austin, as well, shuttling back and forth between Geri and Amy and Che. And even, sometimes, my pickup. It was the most wonderful feeling of freedom I ever had. I got another job, and began work on getting my own apartment. A different Perspective had become Closetspace.
5 Years Ago (1997): Undisputed Queen of Alt.Games.MK. By this time I had met Dean, and moved with him to Pennsylvania, eventually relocating to State College. I was working at the best job I ever had, Swan Technologies. I was learning that you can't bike in Pennsylvania because of things they call "Mountains." Our company folded in July thanks to some very Empire-like machinations of Packard Bell. Never buy a Packard Bell. Ever. Dean and I continued to be very much in love, while his cat absolutely abhorred me to the point of deciding it was him or me.
4 Years Ago (1998): Apart from a few odd jobs, and work on Closetspace, nothing happened. I began to think moving to Pennsylvania was a mistake, and thought about moving to Austin. Dean refused.
3 Years Ago (1999): Phantom Menace. On May 1999, I got my name officially changed, and began my complete transition to a female...at least until November. In November, I got a job with Kinko's, and the manager there decided I needed to be male for my probationary period. This was a bad thing.
2 Years Ago (2000): I rang in the new year on Old Main lawn at Penn State. For once, I really felt happy, and good, and even part of the community of State College. For the first time since the layoffs in 1997, I felt like I was headed on the right path. March came along and I transitioned at work. I was paid terribly, but it was work, and work I enjoyed. Evetually, I got the respect of everyone around me, who stood up for me when customers complained abotu "The Freak Downstairs." But all was not well. Dean had made a few mentions that eh no longer loved me, but wouldn't elaborate. We both decided that a move to Texas was in order since we were both at the top of our games in State College, and wouldn't get paid too much more than minimum wage. I transferred to a Kinko's in Austin, and moved into the coolest part of Austin in the world - Hyde Park. In September, I got a call from Dell to work with them. I was on top of the world, even when Dean did not move down to be with me until October. A terrible omen of things to come: the day I was hired at Dell, their stock plummeted. That same day, I began my hormone therapy.
1 Year Ago (2001): And the walls came-a tumblin' down. My parents disowned me. I lost Dean to an internet homewrecker. Dell layed me off. My pets died. I lost my apatment. I lost my independence. My parents took me back, which was the worst thing that could have happened. I lost my hormones. I lost my identity. I lost my will to live. Two plains collided into the WTC, and I secretly wished they had slammed into me, or that I could have given my life so ONE person from that would live. I lost everything around me. I lost ME. I created A Wish for Wings, to tell a story of how I wanted to be a cartoonist. I lost that too for a time.
This year up to this point
Despite trying to bless the year to make it work, my pit gets deeper everyday. Dreams have become disturbing. The wish for it all to end is strong, but I fight it. But it gets deeper and darker every day. If there is a hell, I'm sure this is how it smells. Closetspace was finally published. It's the obligations I have to AWFW and Closetspace that keep me on this planet.
Yesterday, I:
1) Saw Star Wars
2) Drove a truck home hoping to high heaven it wouldn't blow up on me.
3) Sat on the internet.
4) See #3
5) See #3
Today, I:
1) Got Ice Cream
2) Got soda
3) Sat on the internet
4) Filled out this thingy
5) See #3
Tomorrow, I Will:
1) Sit on the internet.
2) See #1
3) See #1
4) See #1
5) See #1
Five Items I Have Brand Loyalty To:
1) Maxell Video Tapes
2) Memorex CD-Rs
3) Creative Brand Computer Products
4) Rand McNally Maps
5) Swan Technologies (May they rest in peace)
Five Songs I Know All the Words To, Even Without the Music:
1) Anything by the Monkees
2) Anything by Simon and Garfunkle
3) Pretty much anything by Bjork
4) Any Cowboy Bebop Song
5) Anything by the Beatles.
Five Things I Would Buy With $10,000:
1) A life
2) A sex change
3) A house in Austin AND Pennsylvania
4) New Computer (Not a Dell or PAckard Bell)
5) A friend
Top Five Musicians This Week:
1) Yoko Kanno
2) See #1
3) See #1
4) See #1
5) See #1
Top Five Locations I'd Like To Run Away To:
1) Pennsylvania
2) Austin
3) San Antonio (without the familial attachments)
4) New England
5) Sealab 2021
8 Years Ago (1994): I had become Queen of Usenet. I discovered video games. I was quickly failing at University. I had two good friends who I kept with me at all times. I was working a very shitty job at the same time, and, frankly, I was ready to just pack it all in. I had joined, and quit, a TS support group. I biked like you wouldn't believe, including a 45 mile trip to my grandmothers house, and a 60 mile trip to Seguin. By this time, I had begiun work on A Different Perspective....
7 Years Ago (1995): I was the Ultimate Queen of Alt.Games.MK. My suicide attempt. Life with the most remarkable woman I ever knew, Geri, who had a real live case of Multiple PErsonality Disorder. I learned more from her in six months than from 21 years with my parents. To the point where I was considered family and was even brought in on a family meeting of taking care of the her grandkids when she had her heart attack. In 1995, I was living with Amy and Che in Austin, as well, shuttling back and forth between Geri and Amy and Che. And even, sometimes, my pickup. It was the most wonderful feeling of freedom I ever had. I got another job, and began work on getting my own apartment. A different Perspective had become Closetspace.
5 Years Ago (1997): Undisputed Queen of Alt.Games.MK. By this time I had met Dean, and moved with him to Pennsylvania, eventually relocating to State College. I was working at the best job I ever had, Swan Technologies. I was learning that you can't bike in Pennsylvania because of things they call "Mountains." Our company folded in July thanks to some very Empire-like machinations of Packard Bell. Never buy a Packard Bell. Ever. Dean and I continued to be very much in love, while his cat absolutely abhorred me to the point of deciding it was him or me.
4 Years Ago (1998): Apart from a few odd jobs, and work on Closetspace, nothing happened. I began to think moving to Pennsylvania was a mistake, and thought about moving to Austin. Dean refused.
3 Years Ago (1999): Phantom Menace. On May 1999, I got my name officially changed, and began my complete transition to a female...at least until November. In November, I got a job with Kinko's, and the manager there decided I needed to be male for my probationary period. This was a bad thing.
2 Years Ago (2000): I rang in the new year on Old Main lawn at Penn State. For once, I really felt happy, and good, and even part of the community of State College. For the first time since the layoffs in 1997, I felt like I was headed on the right path. March came along and I transitioned at work. I was paid terribly, but it was work, and work I enjoyed. Evetually, I got the respect of everyone around me, who stood up for me when customers complained abotu "The Freak Downstairs." But all was not well. Dean had made a few mentions that eh no longer loved me, but wouldn't elaborate. We both decided that a move to Texas was in order since we were both at the top of our games in State College, and wouldn't get paid too much more than minimum wage. I transferred to a Kinko's in Austin, and moved into the coolest part of Austin in the world - Hyde Park. In September, I got a call from Dell to work with them. I was on top of the world, even when Dean did not move down to be with me until October. A terrible omen of things to come: the day I was hired at Dell, their stock plummeted. That same day, I began my hormone therapy.
1 Year Ago (2001): And the walls came-a tumblin' down. My parents disowned me. I lost Dean to an internet homewrecker. Dell layed me off. My pets died. I lost my apatment. I lost my independence. My parents took me back, which was the worst thing that could have happened. I lost my hormones. I lost my identity. I lost my will to live. Two plains collided into the WTC, and I secretly wished they had slammed into me, or that I could have given my life so ONE person from that would live. I lost everything around me. I lost ME. I created A Wish for Wings, to tell a story of how I wanted to be a cartoonist. I lost that too for a time.
This year up to this point
Despite trying to bless the year to make it work, my pit gets deeper everyday. Dreams have become disturbing. The wish for it all to end is strong, but I fight it. But it gets deeper and darker every day. If there is a hell, I'm sure this is how it smells. Closetspace was finally published. It's the obligations I have to AWFW and Closetspace that keep me on this planet.
Yesterday, I:
1) Saw Star Wars
2) Drove a truck home hoping to high heaven it wouldn't blow up on me.
3) Sat on the internet.
4) See #3
5) See #3
Today, I:
1) Got Ice Cream
2) Got soda
3) Sat on the internet
4) Filled out this thingy
5) See #3
Tomorrow, I Will:
1) Sit on the internet.
2) See #1
3) See #1
4) See #1
5) See #1
Five Items I Have Brand Loyalty To:
1) Maxell Video Tapes
2) Memorex CD-Rs
3) Creative Brand Computer Products
4) Rand McNally Maps
5) Swan Technologies (May they rest in peace)
Five Songs I Know All the Words To, Even Without the Music:
1) Anything by the Monkees
2) Anything by Simon and Garfunkle
3) Pretty much anything by Bjork
4) Any Cowboy Bebop Song
5) Anything by the Beatles.
Five Things I Would Buy With $10,000:
1) A life
2) A sex change
3) A house in Austin AND Pennsylvania
4) New Computer (Not a Dell or PAckard Bell)
5) A friend
Top Five Musicians This Week:
1) Yoko Kanno
2) See #1
3) See #1
4) See #1
5) See #1
Top Five Locations I'd Like To Run Away To:
1) Pennsylvania
2) Austin
3) San Antonio (without the familial attachments)
4) New England
5) Sealab 2021
