Luke Skywalker Style Discontent
Aug. 26th, 2003 03:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariThe house is clean, CS is mostly pencilled, my MAME ROMs are updated, I've eaten a storm...and still I'm...well...I dunno.
Sometimes I get these wierd moods. I wouldn't really call it a mood, though. It's not like happy, or sad, or anything. It's a feeling of anxiety, but not really a "Scared" anxiety or an "Anxious" anxeity. Imaging the stomach churn without the mood accompanying it.
Instead, it's this wierd mood I get. When two of my friends got their surgery, I got this way. This sort of "Wow" feeling, but not quite. It's very hard to explain, because I don't have the words for it (No words...should...have sent...a poet....). It's just a weird energy that 99% of the time, has no outlet. If "bored" had an active energy, that's what it'd be.
I've had that all day, and I can't shake it.
This is the same feeling I get when I look into someone's house (Close the blinds kid!). If I talked to a person long enough in this mood, I'd literally be able to describe their room to them. Wouldn't be in fine detail, but the "Gist" was there. Once after talking to dean, this mood/feeling came over me, and I described his room (Yellowish tinge, a series of knobs or switched to my right, birght light source ahead and on the left, dark splotch or column past the knobs on my right...The tinge came from light through the curtains of a bay window, the column was a fireplace, the knobs/switches were the equalizer on the stereo - I was standing exactly in the doorway from the livingroom into the bedroom.)
The problem is, onceI realize I'm doing it, my imagination takes over, and starts adding stuff for me that I KNOW isn't there...and then that feeling is gone.
I'm bored, restless, no outlet for something that needs an outlet.
Sometimes I get these wierd moods. I wouldn't really call it a mood, though. It's not like happy, or sad, or anything. It's a feeling of anxiety, but not really a "Scared" anxiety or an "Anxious" anxeity. Imaging the stomach churn without the mood accompanying it.
Instead, it's this wierd mood I get. When two of my friends got their surgery, I got this way. This sort of "Wow" feeling, but not quite. It's very hard to explain, because I don't have the words for it (No words...should...have sent...a poet....). It's just a weird energy that 99% of the time, has no outlet. If "bored" had an active energy, that's what it'd be.
I've had that all day, and I can't shake it.
This is the same feeling I get when I look into someone's house (Close the blinds kid!). If I talked to a person long enough in this mood, I'd literally be able to describe their room to them. Wouldn't be in fine detail, but the "Gist" was there. Once after talking to dean, this mood/feeling came over me, and I described his room (Yellowish tinge, a series of knobs or switched to my right, birght light source ahead and on the left, dark splotch or column past the knobs on my right...The tinge came from light through the curtains of a bay window, the column was a fireplace, the knobs/switches were the equalizer on the stereo - I was standing exactly in the doorway from the livingroom into the bedroom.)
The problem is, onceI realize I'm doing it, my imagination takes over, and starts adding stuff for me that I KNOW isn't there...and then that feeling is gone.
I'm bored, restless, no outlet for something that needs an outlet.
