"The amazing dangerous stunts he'll do are like....fucking BEEF ON ASS, man!" "This guy is like the

[dolari]

"I'm gonna be the next Canadian Dracula."
"You are? You're not even Canadian."
"I'm not Dracula either, but I got what it takes."

"Folks, Miracle Dirt is your last chance for salvation, and I mean that."

"He's doing time! Sir, you are under arrest...stature 25...of the United Code of the Union!"
"You takin me to jail? Hot ding dang dammading. I'd love to go to jail. They got Jerry Springer there, and cornbread everyday, clean clothes, clean beds, it's a helluva deal!"

"Coolio's hair was designed by NASA and is one of the most expensive communication devices in the whole world."
"Coolio recieves secret coded transmissions from James Brown, 24 hours a day!"

"No, the weathergirl is out. She couldn't do a damn thing!"
"She did me."

"What's your favorite flavor of spit?"
"My own."
"Yeah, me too. I'm kinda used to it."

"You already have a reflection and a sunbeam as a pet."

"Nice weather we've been having, huh folks? If you're like me you're thinking 'What the hell is going on withour planet?' Earthquakes, floods, firestorms, tornadoes...we dont' even have seasons anymore. Volcanoes are popping up like strip malls! California fell off the damned country last week, Sifl! And our ozone is just a JOKE! We better hurry up and build Earth II in outserspace cause Mother Nature is SERIOUSLY TICKED OFF! Out planet is a dangerous dying sphere!"

"It's a simple equasion folks: Hookers times Lonliness divided by Organ Grinders equals Monkey Hearts! New Monkey Hearts plus Hookers equals Hooker Monkeys!"
"Dude, what the FUCK are you talking about?!"
"I'm just making sense, Sifl! Let's take some calls!"

"MY NAME IS PRECIOUS ROY! AND I LIKE TO SMELL OLD STEREOS!"

"Where the hell is Conneticut? Is that on the coast of Kentucky?"
"No. Dude, do you know ANYTHING about America? What's our biggest state?"
"Canada. That's easy."
"Yeah...okay...what's the capital of Maine?"
"...M."
"Do you...what's the state bird of Ohio?"
"Vulture....Ostritch? DODO!"

"Hey, there, Olly? I got those naked pictures of giraffes you wanted."

"God of Thunder! Hammer with might power a bolt of light from the heights of Valhalla, whitening my smile! Helpeth me obtain a smile so white it shall blind the skeleton soldiers of the underworld! WITHIN EVERY TOOTH THE POWER OF ZEUS!"

"Doc Hatfield don't make house calls no more, Sifl! We had to put his horse down yesterday. It had jaundice paw."

"Can I finally peel my bowling ball with this thing? Yes! You can finally strip away your bowling ball's marble exoskeleton to reveal the tender pulpy sweet fruit inside!"

"That was incredible. I liked their high energy. But I'm giving a four, because I can."
"I wasn't quite as happy with them Olly, but since I'm going to give everyone a ten, I'm giving a ten."

"We sent them to space a while ago for a three year mission, but didn't give them anything to do. So there's been some accidents."
"Actually there's only one survivor."
"So we're going to get a hold of him, since we haven't made contact with him in 4 months."

"I'd be careful because there are a whole bunch of horny, unsatisfied ghosts out there!"