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dolariI used to be VERY VERY VERY afraid of the dark. After getting more and more into Wicca, I realized a lot of what COULD get me int he dark would only get me if I thought it could get me. That sentence parses, I'm sure. Eventually, my fear of the dark slowly ebbed away, although if I get spooked, on go the lights. Even then, if I'm confronted with something, I can usually hold on for a sec before going into complete panic to figure out if it's something I should be afraid of. 99.995% of the time I can figure it out, and go right back to bed (that's usually when I get spooked).
Tonight, after everyone went home from work, I turned on my overhead light and turned off the main lights in the Tech Support area. I usually do this every night because I find it easier to work in the dim light than the bright flourescent light. I don't know what was different this time, but I used he Little Trans Bathroom I've been assigned (way in the back), and when I came back, I opened the door to the tech support room. When you go int, there's a cubicle hallway that leads to a big white load-bearing beam. And when I walked in, I saw a shadow. Not just a shadow - but A Shadow. One of the things I based my shadow characters on in AWFW.
There was no "what's this?" moment, I went straight to panic, I hadn't seen one of these since I was tiny, and the primal fear of it all just overwhlemed me. When I finally caught my breath, outside in the well lit hallway, I went back in...and sure enough it was still there projected on the beam.
I went for the lights, and that's when IT went for something...and then I realized that shadow was ME. There were two lightsources behind me, casting two shadows. Where the two shadows overlapped was the perfect form of one of the AWFW shadows, and the same ones I saw as a kid. They weren't back. It was just ME.
Funny how terrors from childhood nightmares can cause such a quick panic. I worked the rest of the night with the ligths on. Think I'll be sleeping with them on, too.
Shield practice'd prolly good too.
Tonight, after everyone went home from work, I turned on my overhead light and turned off the main lights in the Tech Support area. I usually do this every night because I find it easier to work in the dim light than the bright flourescent light. I don't know what was different this time, but I used he Little Trans Bathroom I've been assigned (way in the back), and when I came back, I opened the door to the tech support room. When you go int, there's a cubicle hallway that leads to a big white load-bearing beam. And when I walked in, I saw a shadow. Not just a shadow - but A Shadow. One of the things I based my shadow characters on in AWFW.
There was no "what's this?" moment, I went straight to panic, I hadn't seen one of these since I was tiny, and the primal fear of it all just overwhlemed me. When I finally caught my breath, outside in the well lit hallway, I went back in...and sure enough it was still there projected on the beam.
I went for the lights, and that's when IT went for something...and then I realized that shadow was ME. There were two lightsources behind me, casting two shadows. Where the two shadows overlapped was the perfect form of one of the AWFW shadows, and the same ones I saw as a kid. They weren't back. It was just ME.
Funny how terrors from childhood nightmares can cause such a quick panic. I worked the rest of the night with the ligths on. Think I'll be sleeping with them on, too.
Shield practice'd prolly good too.
