(no subject)

[dolari]

Well, the phone interview turned into a job interview. I have it on Thursday, 3PM.

I'm EXTREMELY worried over this. I've been really worried for a while now.

I've worked at Kinko's and Dell (twice) without any real problems or anything regarding my Transsexualism. And now I have an interview coming up. I'm really worried that like Harte Hanks and TxDOT, I'm going to be fired for using the women's room.

At Harte Hanks, I tried to negotiate. I was one of their top agents, and I called their bluff. Would they lose one of their top agents for using a bathroom she looked like she could use? Turns out I called their bluff, and STILL lost.

When the issue came up at TxDOT, I wasn't even given a chance to negotiate. Just a "Don't let the door hit your ass hit you on the way out." I was really stung by the follow up letter blaming ME for not being able to keep the job.

Now I have another job interview coming up. I'm rather worried that this stuff will come up. I know that no matter what my job performance, I can be fired simply for having a Y chromosome. I'm literally fearing this interview.

So, I did a Tarot reading that told me "It doesn't matter what you say, you're not getting this job." I think, honestly, that I put too much of my own fear and not enough "What should I do" into the interpretation.

So what should I do?

Do I go in and tell them "Is being TS going to be a problem?" and get screwed out of work right up front? Or do I keep it quiet and get fired later? Honestly, I'd rather lose the opportunity up front than get a "You were fired" mark on my employment history. But those are two NEGATIVE outcomes.

There's always the "You do your job well, and get to keep it" aspect.

So what do I do? Do I mention "Is it going to be a problem?" at the interview? Or keep my mouth shut and hope for the best? I really should sleep on this.

I really don't know what do here. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

I finally also have the Third Element in the Elf/Faerie story now. How do you kill off an entire species pretty quick? Make it impossible to reproduce. I think this story is ready to rol whenever AWFW or CS are done.

::checks watch::

We have PLENTY of time.

Comments

[kalibex.livejournal.com]

"I think, honestly, that I put too much of my own fear and not enough "What should I do" into the interpretation."

Damned right. NEVER do your own readings when you're emotionally riled up.

Words from the peanut gallery...

[inefficient.livejournal.com]

It's easy for me to sit here and give you advice, because I am not in your position, but my recommendation is this. You should be honest about it upfront (without turning it into an examination of your personal life). If they are going to discriminate against you now based solely on your TS-ness, this at least gives you potential grounds for an investigation. If you don't tell them now, you appear to be ashamed of it, should it ever come out. You also allow them to feel betrayed if it should come out later. You may need to provide some education on TS issues (especially re: the bathroom) if it is not a very large company. It may not be a bad idea to come armed with some "What does having a TS employee mean to me?" type pamphlets.

Essentially, I would rather take the chance that they will be accepting of it from day one, than make them have to decide whether or not they are betrayed and will have a trust issue if you don't mention it now. It would also give their HR department a chance to prepare in case it becomes an issue with your co-workers. The other complication, of course, is Texas' reprehensible stance of ignoring TS status in favor of birth sex. I don't know how that affects corporate policies there. At any rate, good luck to you and let us know how it goes. *crosses fingers ... and toes ... and legs ... and arms ...*

[frankie23.livejournal.com]

I agree with the above: Never read for yourself when you care about theissue. Personally, I never read for myself. Though that kinda bites me in the ass now and then.

As for the issue, I'd be more than up-front. I'd tell them about the TS issue, and explain to them how you've been screwed over about it in the past. Ask them if they're the type of people to pull something like that with you. Get personal about it, even.

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

*ponder* Since the interview process is two way, I'd say talk to them about it, but talk to them about it last (after qualifications and duties), and treat it more like you're helping them out by letting them know what having a TS employee is likely to be like.

"I know that in many situations, this can be confusing and difficult to handle. It certainly can be for me! Thankfully, other employees and employers have been here before us, and here are some of the more successful resolutions for both parties."

I could see something like that swinging an interview your way if they're concerned about it from the start but too nervous about saying anything.

I agree with you though. I'd rather get it out of the way earlier than later. Unfortunately, I'd be likely to handle it beligerantly making it a foregone conclusion that they'd practically throw me out of the building. There are degrees of negative.

[chrysalis.livejournal.com]

Gotta echo everyone else about doing readings on yourself. Sometimes all it does is reinforce a bad income (I meant to type outcome. Interesting Freudian slip, heh.)

As to whether or not to say anything... my initial reaction was anything. It said that because to me announcing it up front may make it look like it's something worth drawing attention to. Since it's not really supposed to be their business, it really shouldn't be an issue (of course we know better.) But then again, this is only from my perspective. I've done incredibly stupid things before to hide something if it's important enough. I'm sorta confused about how you're getting caught anyway, unless you're standing up?

Anyway, trust your instincts, even if you don't like the answer. I can only imagine what it's like to be in your shoes.

[ghostangel.livejournal.com]

I think you should bring it up, but only at the end like it was stated in an earlier comment by someone else. Bring up the *bathroom* issue, not the TS issue if you can help it. If they ask, by all means explain, but don't unless they specifically want to learn more.

Come prepared to educate, but do not force it. Ask about the bathrooms, indicate that there was previous trouble with bathroom usage(don't get into specifics, or that they fired you over it), and ask if they have a problem with it/have an alternate bathroom that you may use. The goal is to express concern about it, but not make a big deal out of it at the same time.

[amw.livejournal.com]

Here's what i think, and it might sound harsh but here we go... Lick their shiny metal butts. Tell them you really want the job, that you'll be their best worker ever. Tell them you are TS and you would be much more comfortable using the women's bathrooms, and that there was no problem you doing that at Dell. However. Also tell them that IF it's going to be a problem you will be happy to figure out another arrangement (maybe someone's private office bathroom or the meeting room bathroom or whatever) or even the men's room if necessary. Or hell, don't drink anything and just wait till lunch when you can drive to the mall.

At this point i think having a job and an income is way more important than which door you walk through. Yes it'll suck if you have to go to the men's room, but keep your eyes on that paycheck. Seriously. Who knows, maybe once people get to know you they'll see how stupid it is to keep you out of the women's. You won't know if you don't try, and you won't earn the money to get where you need to be if you keep letting signs on doors and funny looks/asshole comments hold you back.

Re:

[amw.livejournal.com]

Good advise :)

Re:

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

I'm "caught" because I don't look or sound like a woman.

[yubikiri.livejournal.com]

o.O That's just not fair. I wouldn't know what to do either.

Suggestion for the peanut gallery

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with ghost angel, bring up the bathroom rather then the TS issue. I also agree with amw, kiss major butt. Hopefully you will come off as concerned for their peace of mind and get them into a helpful/paternalistic mood. Nothing like getting someone feeling smug to manipulate them to get what you want.

I wish all the best with this interview.

Love,

Natasha


A very concerned Androgyne

[kengr]

Wish you lived here. As it's illegal for them to not let a TS use the "appropriate" restroom.