dolari: (Default)
[personal profile] dolari
Since I've moved here, I've been hit where it hurts several times, including the one thing I feared most - my safety nets are gone. The one person who could help me here if I failed lost her job and is wiping out her savings.

I've always been under the impression that I would find better work than I have already. One of the reasons I took an almost $300 a month pay cut was I planned to find something better quickly. I didn't expect the economy to tank (and keep tanking) once I moved here. I've had one interview since about September, and haven't put in a resume in over two months. The jobs just aren't there.

Today I hit a crisis point - I've been living "on a deficit" since I got here, spending more money than I was making, all on the hunch that I could get a new job that paid more what I was expecting. I had a lot of savings tucked away, $2500 for the trip, and almost $1300 in savings that have lasted me WAY longer than they should have. However, today the savings are all gone, the credit cards are maxed out, and for the first time I STILL cannot pay off all my bills.

I don't get paid enough at my current job. Straight up. It pays $300 a month less while my rent has increased $150. My cost of living has also shot through the roof. I was pulling off that savings to cover the difference, but that's all gone now.

So, first up, I need to free up some serious cash. As much as Second Life is my home away from home, and one of the few places I could go to get away from my troubles, the price is just too much. That's really the only real luxury I've afforded myself all this time. I'm also going to be canceling the cable internet. I can steal it from the office, since they have an open internet access point. This should free up an extra $100 a month, enough to pay three times the minimum on my cards which should keep them happy and I can get groceries off that. Cutting down on my hormones will also help, but I'd hate to have to cut those out completely.

I've not been posting a lot lately. The comics have really suffered. I'm just pretty fucking depressed because of all this. I'm not really prone to deep depression (my last major depression was 2005, when I was stuck in a house I was allergic to for whole half-year). But this has got me really really down. And I don't see it getting any better.

This isn't a plea for money, it won't help in the long run - it's a plea for something tha tmay last longer: good thoughts, prayers and well wishes. Wish me luck, folks. I'm losing a lot in a last ditch effort to stay here....
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