Dissertation Day at the Dolari Domain
Jan. 21st, 2010 05:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariThere's a funny thing that happens when I talk with a bunch of women, and the topic turns to spouses/boyfriends/fiances. Mainly when I tell then my finacee is a woman, I get the following reponse:
"Honey, you're smart. My guy just can't stop lookin' at other women."
I really don't know what to say when I hear this. What with being trans, and living on both ends of the hormonal spectrum.
Growing up, puberty hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm Mexican. Very Mexican. And when the testosterone taps were turned on, it swamped me. At a time when I was desperately trying to FIT IN with the girls, my hormones were making me fascinated with women's bodies. And NOT in the way I wanted to be fascinated by them.
It took years of training and repression, and lots and lots of late nights with the internet, but I eventually I got to a point where I could stop, or at least "burn off" a lot of that sex drive that was a serious impediment to my "fitting in."
When I finally started hormones, it took a few months on them before I realized...hey, that cetain part of the male anatomy...it just doesn't WORK anymore. And where did all this free time come from? I can spend time with women, and not have an intrusive thought, or concentrate to make sure my eyes aren't focusing in the wrong spots!
THIS ROCKS!
And wan't a flip - I didn't suddenly start oggling guys....it was a nice peace of mind kind of thing instead of the aggressive "oooh, that looks preeeeeettttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
And all was well...until I lost my job and hormones, and suddenly, it was puberty all over again.
Really, it was all over again: Had to relearn all those behaviours I'd done to make sure I could live in female society without those pesky male traits getting in the way.
The other day, I went to the PO box to see if my meds had come in, which they hadn't. I felty kinda down, and decided to grab some lunch...when I figured "Hey, there's a Hooters right there, let's just go in a grab some lunch and we'll--" And suddenly Hooter's advertising makes a lot of sense. :)
So yeah, when I hear my girlfriends talking about how much their guys look around, I actually feel sorry for the guy. If he's anything like I am on Testosterone...well...he can't really help it. And in his case, it's probably a normal behavior thanks to the testosterone.
That said, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get my pills ASAP.
"Honey, you're smart. My guy just can't stop lookin' at other women."
I really don't know what to say when I hear this. What with being trans, and living on both ends of the hormonal spectrum.
Growing up, puberty hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm Mexican. Very Mexican. And when the testosterone taps were turned on, it swamped me. At a time when I was desperately trying to FIT IN with the girls, my hormones were making me fascinated with women's bodies. And NOT in the way I wanted to be fascinated by them.
It took years of training and repression, and lots and lots of late nights with the internet, but I eventually I got to a point where I could stop, or at least "burn off" a lot of that sex drive that was a serious impediment to my "fitting in."
When I finally started hormones, it took a few months on them before I realized...hey, that cetain part of the male anatomy...it just doesn't WORK anymore. And where did all this free time come from? I can spend time with women, and not have an intrusive thought, or concentrate to make sure my eyes aren't focusing in the wrong spots!
THIS ROCKS!
And wan't a flip - I didn't suddenly start oggling guys....it was a nice peace of mind kind of thing instead of the aggressive "oooh, that looks preeeeeettttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
And all was well...until I lost my job and hormones, and suddenly, it was puberty all over again.
Really, it was all over again: Had to relearn all those behaviours I'd done to make sure I could live in female society without those pesky male traits getting in the way.
The other day, I went to the PO box to see if my meds had come in, which they hadn't. I felty kinda down, and decided to grab some lunch...when I figured "Hey, there's a Hooters right there, let's just go in a grab some lunch and we'll--" And suddenly Hooter's advertising makes a lot of sense. :)
So yeah, when I hear my girlfriends talking about how much their guys look around, I actually feel sorry for the guy. If he's anything like I am on Testosterone...well...he can't really help it. And in his case, it's probably a normal behavior thanks to the testosterone.
That said, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get my pills ASAP.
