LIVE Work Play Mind Body Soul
Jul. 18th, 2010 02:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariYou may notice I've been very quiet, terse and, in general very very very short. Writing long and involved entries takes time, effort and "oomph." I've been sorely lacking in time, oomph and that leads to terrible effort. So, while I wait for a network connection to go through with a customer, have an update.
The State of the Jenn
In General, the state if the Jenn is Not Good.
Live
I'm alive. Not always a good thing, but I'm alive. I live with three wonderful understanding people who are helping me out tremendously. If im short on rent, or bills, its okay, cause it doesn't happen every month. My time there is short, and being surrounded by people has eaten into my art time, even with the studio environment we have set up. My days tend to consist of waking up at 6:30, work at 8, home at 7:30, bed at 10:30. As of late I've been battling some depression. Given the effects of the last half year, this is not really unexpected. A lot of shit went down and I pushed off dealing with it emotionally till mu body said "NO. HERE. NOW."
I have good days, and bad days. The good days are good. The bad are....very bad. Most of my good days are quite good, but little things can degin to crack my shell. Usually later in the evening, I'm hit with a kind of sad melancholy. Usually a bit of "How did things get so bad so quick?"
My bad days, are bad. I had one the other day where a bad call at work sent me down the path to a deep deep depression. It took all I had to keep myself from sounding like I was crying on the phone, and when I cam e home, I went straight for bed, cried myself to sleep and slept for 11 hours. On waking up for work the next day, I had to force myself out of bed, and dragged that day, too.
I've been depressed before. 2001 being one of the worst (Having all manner of things go bad inside of two weeks spiralled me into one of the worst periods of my life). But not like this. The lingering depression, the sadness when there's nothing to be sad about.
I'm hoping once I've dealt with the pain from the earleir parts of the year, it'll be gone, cause I hate living like this.
The State of the Jenn
In General, the state if the Jenn is Not Good.
Live
I'm alive. Not always a good thing, but I'm alive. I live with three wonderful understanding people who are helping me out tremendously. If im short on rent, or bills, its okay, cause it doesn't happen every month. My time there is short, and being surrounded by people has eaten into my art time, even with the studio environment we have set up. My days tend to consist of waking up at 6:30, work at 8, home at 7:30, bed at 10:30. As of late I've been battling some depression. Given the effects of the last half year, this is not really unexpected. A lot of shit went down and I pushed off dealing with it emotionally till mu body said "NO. HERE. NOW."
I have good days, and bad days. The good days are good. The bad are....very bad. Most of my good days are quite good, but little things can degin to crack my shell. Usually later in the evening, I'm hit with a kind of sad melancholy. Usually a bit of "How did things get so bad so quick?"
My bad days, are bad. I had one the other day where a bad call at work sent me down the path to a deep deep depression. It took all I had to keep myself from sounding like I was crying on the phone, and when I cam e home, I went straight for bed, cried myself to sleep and slept for 11 hours. On waking up for work the next day, I had to force myself out of bed, and dragged that day, too.
I've been depressed before. 2001 being one of the worst (Having all manner of things go bad inside of two weeks spiralled me into one of the worst periods of my life). But not like this. The lingering depression, the sadness when there's nothing to be sad about.
I'm hoping once I've dealt with the pain from the earleir parts of the year, it'll be gone, cause I hate living like this.
