(no subject)

[dolari]

I've been rather quiet lately, mainly because my right hand REALLY REALLY hurts. It's been hurting for a few days now. I dunno what I did with it, but one day I woke up and the right three fingers just hurt like crazy. When I went to pull the covers off me, a muscle in my forearm said "No way" and the cover slipped from under me. This was prolly Thursday or Friday. It doesn't hurt near as much anymore, but it's pretty painful. I have a feeling it has to do with the Fed Ex processing I do at work, since it's usually an hour or two of repetetive motion, which just recently doubled.

Inking the comics was a LOT of fun... :P

I'm also a bit down...mainly because there's some AWFW stuff I need to figure out before next week...



Mainly, the ending that I'd been pushing for since I started can't really be done now. Originally, Andrea fell off the tower saving (insert whatever draft's most hated rival's son here). I'd been aiming for that until Zaecus mentioned that it looked more like Andrea was being too much of a martyr: She was saving Tobrial not because she wanted to save HIM, but to kill herself to BE an angel. This is DEFINATELY not the idea I wanted. The idea was for her to simply not care for once, and save someone for the sake of saving.

I've come up with three non-martyr solutions, but I'm unhappy with all three as well:

The first three panels will all be The Father not wanting to let go of Andrea AND His Son and Andrea saying "If you want to save your son, Let Go!"

Solution #1: Andrea wiggles out of her shoe and flips down, hanging off the edge of the tower. Dad lifts his son, comes back to Andrea, who is trying to pull her way up towards the observationdeck. She makes it most of the way, where Dad almost reaches her. She sees behind him a number of shadows, reacts and falls. Don't like this because it means involving the shadows a bit early, and means I'd have to "deal" with the Shadows much too quickly when she hits the ground.

Solution #2: Andrea wiggles out of her shoe and flips down, she miscalculates the drop, and completely misses the lip of the tower. Don't like this because it makes her look stupid for not realizing she couldn't hold her own weight while flipping, and holding onto a small handhold.

Solution #3: Andrea wiggles out of her shoe and flips down, hanging off the edge of the tower. Dad lifts his son, comes back to Andrea, who is trying to pull her way up towards the observationdeck. She makes it most of the way, where Dad almost reaches her. He is then knocked over by shadows. Andrea can't hold on any longer, and falls. Don't like this because we NEED Andrea to see Dad and realize who he is as she's falling.

I'm aiming towards #2, since we can be told she has a plan for saving herself, but it doesn't pan out. But it sure looks stupid of her to fall after telling Dad to "let go."

Comments

[inefficient.livejournal.com]

why can't her grip just slip in option three (i.e., she reaches for a railing to pull herself up and her hand slips, or as she reaches for a better hold, the other hand slips and she falls). Then its an accident, she didn't mean to do it, she saves the kid, the Dad tries to save her and can't, and you don't have to deal with the shadows. She can see Dad as he rushes toward the edge to save her and doesn't make it (he would naturally look over the edge as she falls)

You can screen this of course, if you should choose to use it or whatever...

[inefficient.livejournal.com]

oh, sorry to hear about your hand, btw. hope you feel better soon. ;)

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

First, after the incident with the window covering, it seems fairly obvious that the shadows don't want an open confrontation. They're being sneaky and causing "accidents". Youw eren't too happy about the resolution on the frame where the shadows seared the bolts, so I propose an alternate solution.

Solution #4: Andrea wriggles out of her shoe and flips down (graceful, like a cat, oooo) [jungle music]. She is pulling herself up and Dad is coming to rescue her, but neither sees the shadows who, lacking better instructions, are still trying to cause accidents. Just as Dad is about to reach Andrea, the ledge collapses... Or some such.

That way, the reader sees the shadows, but not the characters, and anybody who's still thinking Andrea was trying to kill herself, hopefully, gets distracted by the shadows trying to do the same thing. This way, it's an accident, like option number 2, but also enemy action, like option number 3.

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Hmmm....I may use that one if you don't mind. :)

I thought about something like that, where she slips, but thought it was along the lines of "missing the lip" and kind of stupid of her. But it seems the most likely way to do it now.

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Not sure if I like having the ledge collapse - that would put too many people at risk for what is supposed to be a semi-personal "battle."

I think I'm going to go with Inefficient's answer, of having her slip as she saves herself. It makes more sense than her completely missing the lip, or involving the shadows too early....

[inefficient.livejournal.com]

of course, I see by now you came up with something else, but if you should ever need that idea, its all yours ;)