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May. 24th, 2016 12:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariMy Gender Dysphoria has been working overtime today. It's one of the most painful things I've ever encountered. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies.
I've often described it as a "longing." I look at a woman, and am hit with this "longing." Like I had a body like that once, I've lost it, and would desperately like it back. Most days I can ignore it. Some days I cannot. And some days, it's full on yelling at me, making dealing with people painful. It's days like that that even hearing a voice hurts my soul.
I've spent my life trying to express my soul as best I could. It's hard because my body fights me every step of the way. It's hard because I couldn't even have my surgery even if I had the money, It's hard because I'm watching people around the country lying about us to make a political gain on fear. There's been a lot of going to bed crying these last few weeks.
If you are happy in your body (and I don't mean if you think you're too fat, too thin, too tall, but really happy with who you are and how it meshes with what you are), take a moment to appreciate that.
It's rough out there right now....
I've often described it as a "longing." I look at a woman, and am hit with this "longing." Like I had a body like that once, I've lost it, and would desperately like it back. Most days I can ignore it. Some days I cannot. And some days, it's full on yelling at me, making dealing with people painful. It's days like that that even hearing a voice hurts my soul.
I've spent my life trying to express my soul as best I could. It's hard because my body fights me every step of the way. It's hard because I couldn't even have my surgery even if I had the money, It's hard because I'm watching people around the country lying about us to make a political gain on fear. There's been a lot of going to bed crying these last few weeks.
If you are happy in your body (and I don't mean if you think you're too fat, too thin, too tall, but really happy with who you are and how it meshes with what you are), take a moment to appreciate that.
It's rough out there right now....
