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Dec. 27th, 2020 04:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariThoughts Before Bed
I'm rethinking of re-aligning my life again.
Before Nintendo, I may have had a good work ethic, but there was something I had added to that: My work was not my job. My job was comics. My job couldn't feed my stomach, though...that's what my work was for.
Before Nintendo, I did stellar work for the companies who hired me ...but it ALWAYS took a back seat to comicking. I'd often draw at work, write at work, do layouts at work, so when my eight hours were done, I was ready to REALLY sit down and be creative the rest of the day.
When I got put on at Nintendo, though, that changed. One - Nintendo was a great place to work and the people were great. Second, I could make a career here, much like I was trying at Dell and supremely fucked up. I could get some security...and my work became my job. And the comics became...a thing I did otherwise.
For ten years I pushed hard to get on at NOA. And they made it harder to get in. And I pushed harder. And they made it harder. And eventually, I was chasing those moving goalposts for a decade and forgetting about the comics.
After leaving for Tableau, the sheer amount of money they were throwing at me would again give me that chance at a career and security. But the job was so incredibly hard, and the circumstances so dire, that I barely had any energy to work the actual JOB much less anything creative.
2020 has been like a full on Iron Man Squash Match where I've been slapped around like a ragdoll by The Undertaker for a full hour before anyone's even allowed to ring the bell.
The last month of having nothing to do BUT draw and write has made me remember that I LIKE doing this. That I WANT to do this.
But it still won't support me. But maybe it's time I went back to my original work ethic.
Get work. Do good work. You need rent and food. But remember, it's just work. The Comics. The Writing. THAT'S your job.
I need to keep that in mind going into 2021.
I'm rethinking of re-aligning my life again.
Before Nintendo, I may have had a good work ethic, but there was something I had added to that: My work was not my job. My job was comics. My job couldn't feed my stomach, though...that's what my work was for.
Before Nintendo, I did stellar work for the companies who hired me ...but it ALWAYS took a back seat to comicking. I'd often draw at work, write at work, do layouts at work, so when my eight hours were done, I was ready to REALLY sit down and be creative the rest of the day.
When I got put on at Nintendo, though, that changed. One - Nintendo was a great place to work and the people were great. Second, I could make a career here, much like I was trying at Dell and supremely fucked up. I could get some security...and my work became my job. And the comics became...a thing I did otherwise.
For ten years I pushed hard to get on at NOA. And they made it harder to get in. And I pushed harder. And they made it harder. And eventually, I was chasing those moving goalposts for a decade and forgetting about the comics.
After leaving for Tableau, the sheer amount of money they were throwing at me would again give me that chance at a career and security. But the job was so incredibly hard, and the circumstances so dire, that I barely had any energy to work the actual JOB much less anything creative.
2020 has been like a full on Iron Man Squash Match where I've been slapped around like a ragdoll by The Undertaker for a full hour before anyone's even allowed to ring the bell.
The last month of having nothing to do BUT draw and write has made me remember that I LIKE doing this. That I WANT to do this.
But it still won't support me. But maybe it's time I went back to my original work ethic.
Get work. Do good work. You need rent and food. But remember, it's just work. The Comics. The Writing. THAT'S your job.
I need to keep that in mind going into 2021.
