Dissertation Day at the Dolari Domain
Jan. 21st, 2010 05:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariThere's a funny thing that happens when I talk with a bunch of women, and the topic turns to spouses/boyfriends/fiances. Mainly when I tell then my finacee is a woman, I get the following reponse:
"Honey, you're smart. My guy just can't stop lookin' at other women."
I really don't know what to say when I hear this. What with being trans, and living on both ends of the hormonal spectrum.
Growing up, puberty hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm Mexican. Very Mexican. And when the testosterone taps were turned on, it swamped me. At a time when I was desperately trying to FIT IN with the girls, my hormones were making me fascinated with women's bodies. And NOT in the way I wanted to be fascinated by them.
It took years of training and repression, and lots and lots of late nights with the internet, but I eventually I got to a point where I could stop, or at least "burn off" a lot of that sex drive that was a serious impediment to my "fitting in."
When I finally started hormones, it took a few months on them before I realized...hey, that cetain part of the male anatomy...it just doesn't WORK anymore. And where did all this free time come from? I can spend time with women, and not have an intrusive thought, or concentrate to make sure my eyes aren't focusing in the wrong spots!
THIS ROCKS!
And wan't a flip - I didn't suddenly start oggling guys....it was a nice peace of mind kind of thing instead of the aggressive "oooh, that looks preeeeeettttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
And all was well...until I lost my job and hormones, and suddenly, it was puberty all over again.
Really, it was all over again: Had to relearn all those behaviours I'd done to make sure I could live in female society without those pesky male traits getting in the way.
The other day, I went to the PO box to see if my meds had come in, which they hadn't. I felty kinda down, and decided to grab some lunch...when I figured "Hey, there's a Hooters right there, let's just go in a grab some lunch and we'll--" And suddenly Hooter's advertising makes a lot of sense. :)
So yeah, when I hear my girlfriends talking about how much their guys look around, I actually feel sorry for the guy. If he's anything like I am on Testosterone...well...he can't really help it. And in his case, it's probably a normal behavior thanks to the testosterone.
That said, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get my pills ASAP.
"Honey, you're smart. My guy just can't stop lookin' at other women."
I really don't know what to say when I hear this. What with being trans, and living on both ends of the hormonal spectrum.
Growing up, puberty hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm Mexican. Very Mexican. And when the testosterone taps were turned on, it swamped me. At a time when I was desperately trying to FIT IN with the girls, my hormones were making me fascinated with women's bodies. And NOT in the way I wanted to be fascinated by them.
It took years of training and repression, and lots and lots of late nights with the internet, but I eventually I got to a point where I could stop, or at least "burn off" a lot of that sex drive that was a serious impediment to my "fitting in."
When I finally started hormones, it took a few months on them before I realized...hey, that cetain part of the male anatomy...it just doesn't WORK anymore. And where did all this free time come from? I can spend time with women, and not have an intrusive thought, or concentrate to make sure my eyes aren't focusing in the wrong spots!
THIS ROCKS!
And wan't a flip - I didn't suddenly start oggling guys....it was a nice peace of mind kind of thing instead of the aggressive "oooh, that looks preeeeeettttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
And all was well...until I lost my job and hormones, and suddenly, it was puberty all over again.
Really, it was all over again: Had to relearn all those behaviours I'd done to make sure I could live in female society without those pesky male traits getting in the way.
The other day, I went to the PO box to see if my meds had come in, which they hadn't. I felty kinda down, and decided to grab some lunch...when I figured "Hey, there's a Hooters right there, let's just go in a grab some lunch and we'll--" And suddenly Hooter's advertising makes a lot of sense. :)
So yeah, when I hear my girlfriends talking about how much their guys look around, I actually feel sorry for the guy. If he's anything like I am on Testosterone...well...he can't really help it. And in his case, it's probably a normal behavior thanks to the testosterone.
That said, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get my pills ASAP.
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-22 11:21 pm (UTC)It occurred to me in college that guys can't help but look around because women were designed to be looked at ... by guys, sure, but other women, too. (I recall at least one time in which I was caught in an immobilizing incident of Indecent Open Gawk, but thankfully the lovely lady gracefully grinned at me and went about her business with cheerful aplomb.) Nature just made women lovely. So let guys look, cuz they're not dead yet. As long as they don't stray in their hearts, it's not a problem.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-22 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-23 02:30 am (UTC)>women were designed to be looked at ...
I'm prolly gonna get rapped in the mouth for this - but I agree with this.
There's actually a really great line written by a psychopath in The Maxx about this, as his excuse for why he does what he does to women:
"Of course I've got a problem with women! Everyone has a problem with women! [...] Because they are attractive and then they punish you for being attracted! Do you deny it? After all, I'm not the one who wears underwear on the outside her clothes."
He's a psychopath, though, so your mileage may vary. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-23 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-24 12:59 am (UTC)