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dolariIt's amazing how a train of thought occurs.
I was about to relax in a nice warm tub of hot water when I decided to pick up a book. I ended up picking out When Rabbit Howls from my bookshelf (well, the pile of books up against the wall. My ex-girlfriend had bought it for me when I had talked to her about Geri. We had good long talks about Geri.
As I began to flip through it, I couldn't help but think about Geri. And Sarah. And Carole. And Mary.
Years ago, about February 1995, I had lost my job, my education and my will to live. I attempted suicide and failed. And, par for the course, I ran away. I stayed with my friend's girlfriend for the next six months. The girlfriend's mother was Geri.
She took care of me for a while, and did something that my parents had failed. She built up my confidence and self-esteem. She made me happy to be alive, and was the mother I never had.
She also had multiple personalities. The revelation was broken to me by David and JD some weeks earlier
Over the next six months I found out her "bodies" name was Carolyn, and Geri was an 18 year old woman in the body of a forty-something. I confided in her my problems, and she confided her problems in me. She was happy to answer any questions I had about the whole MPD scenario, and there were quite a few. She thought it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't analyzing her, or judging. She was a tremendous artist, and a definite list maker. One of the things I was most impressed with was she had made a list of about 100 separate emotions, and drew a distinct smiley face for each of them. When I got my first apartment and job, she was prouder of me than my own mother was at the time. She was also SUPREMELY organized and thoughtful. Going shopping with her, I once saw her blank out and became worried that she'd switch personalities . When she came back, she was still Geri, but she had "gone inside" and asked what everyone wanted before she finally checked out.
I met Carole some days later out of the corner of my eye. Carole, Dave told me, had been curious about me for some time, but was very shy. I saw Geri spying on us from the hallway. When I saw her, Geri got this very strange smile a funky twinkle in her eye and she shuffled away. JD left and a few minutes later, I was introduced to a giggling little five year old. She was so nervous, and didn't want to talk to me. Eventually, she started to warm up to me, and she told me all about the things she liked. The movies she saw, the "numbers" in her life, and how Geri would let her come out at the restaurants to have ice cream. Can you imagine being five years old and having ice cream every day? Wow. She told me a lot about her tree house, which "The Others" had built for her, and how the bad people would make such a terrible noise to scare her. Names like Master and Juanita who would pull on Geri's toenails. She was also terrified of being integrated. Very terrified. She had my license memorized, my social security number from simply over hearing it while I was on the phone, and had a passion for the digital clock when it read 11:11 ("It's two friends protecting the inside two friends."). If you had change, Carole came out, and nothing could stop her. JD would often torment Geri by jingling coins...out would come Carole. After some time, Carole became convinced I had another "little girl" inside me. I regret that Carole never got to meet her.
Sarah I only met twice, most of the time I was with either Geri or Carole. Sarah was a big butch lady, crafty, mechanically oriented. Sarah was The Fixer. If something went wrong, she fixed it. Their car broke down once, and she fixed it in no time flat. Geri just got this blank look and POP, out came Sarah. Fixed the car right up and back came Geri. I always got the feeling that Sarah didn't like me. But it was more likely the husky voice she had.
Mary I only ever met once. But boy could she cook. If there was anything baked in the house, it was Mary's doing.
Geri said there were at least 150 personalities inside her...some terrifying. I only ever saw the four.
Much of what Geri talked to me about is in the Polychronicon. The people trapped within the crystal live inside a dark void where you can barely see each other, and there's a constant background yammering as people talk/thought to each other. This is what Geri called "The Inside." The character of Heidi in Closetspace was originally going to have multiple personalities (Heidi being a feminine of Hieronymous Bosch, who made pictures I thought described The Inside).
I lost track of Geri and JD in 1996. It was selfish of me - Dave was having trouble with his relationship with JD at the time, and I felt like I was in the way. As a result, my relationship with Geri deteriorated. She...they died of a heart attack some time later, and a dirty trick by my family kept me from going to the cremation. I never got to say good bye to the friends I had made.
I hope they're happy now. They finally have the silence they wanted so badly.
Years later I had a very strange dream. I was back in Geri's house on the phone. Geri was also on the phone, talking to me from across the room. I couldn't make out what she was saying, but she said it with a smile.
JD. If you're out there somewhere. I hope you can forgive me. I can only hope that Geri, Carole, Sarah and Mary did before they left. Maybe they phoned it in....
I was about to relax in a nice warm tub of hot water when I decided to pick up a book. I ended up picking out When Rabbit Howls from my bookshelf (well, the pile of books up against the wall. My ex-girlfriend had bought it for me when I had talked to her about Geri. We had good long talks about Geri.
As I began to flip through it, I couldn't help but think about Geri. And Sarah. And Carole. And Mary.
Years ago, about February 1995, I had lost my job, my education and my will to live. I attempted suicide and failed. And, par for the course, I ran away. I stayed with my friend's girlfriend for the next six months. The girlfriend's mother was Geri.
She took care of me for a while, and did something that my parents had failed. She built up my confidence and self-esteem. She made me happy to be alive, and was the mother I never had.
She also had multiple personalities. The revelation was broken to me by David and JD some weeks earlier
Over the next six months I found out her "bodies" name was Carolyn, and Geri was an 18 year old woman in the body of a forty-something. I confided in her my problems, and she confided her problems in me. She was happy to answer any questions I had about the whole MPD scenario, and there were quite a few. She thought it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't analyzing her, or judging. She was a tremendous artist, and a definite list maker. One of the things I was most impressed with was she had made a list of about 100 separate emotions, and drew a distinct smiley face for each of them. When I got my first apartment and job, she was prouder of me than my own mother was at the time. She was also SUPREMELY organized and thoughtful. Going shopping with her, I once saw her blank out and became worried that she'd switch personalities . When she came back, she was still Geri, but she had "gone inside" and asked what everyone wanted before she finally checked out.
I met Carole some days later out of the corner of my eye. Carole, Dave told me, had been curious about me for some time, but was very shy. I saw Geri spying on us from the hallway. When I saw her, Geri got this very strange smile a funky twinkle in her eye and she shuffled away. JD left and a few minutes later, I was introduced to a giggling little five year old. She was so nervous, and didn't want to talk to me. Eventually, she started to warm up to me, and she told me all about the things she liked. The movies she saw, the "numbers" in her life, and how Geri would let her come out at the restaurants to have ice cream. Can you imagine being five years old and having ice cream every day? Wow. She told me a lot about her tree house, which "The Others" had built for her, and how the bad people would make such a terrible noise to scare her. Names like Master and Juanita who would pull on Geri's toenails. She was also terrified of being integrated. Very terrified. She had my license memorized, my social security number from simply over hearing it while I was on the phone, and had a passion for the digital clock when it read 11:11 ("It's two friends protecting the inside two friends."). If you had change, Carole came out, and nothing could stop her. JD would often torment Geri by jingling coins...out would come Carole. After some time, Carole became convinced I had another "little girl" inside me. I regret that Carole never got to meet her.
Sarah I only met twice, most of the time I was with either Geri or Carole. Sarah was a big butch lady, crafty, mechanically oriented. Sarah was The Fixer. If something went wrong, she fixed it. Their car broke down once, and she fixed it in no time flat. Geri just got this blank look and POP, out came Sarah. Fixed the car right up and back came Geri. I always got the feeling that Sarah didn't like me. But it was more likely the husky voice she had.
Mary I only ever met once. But boy could she cook. If there was anything baked in the house, it was Mary's doing.
Geri said there were at least 150 personalities inside her...some terrifying. I only ever saw the four.
Much of what Geri talked to me about is in the Polychronicon. The people trapped within the crystal live inside a dark void where you can barely see each other, and there's a constant background yammering as people talk/thought to each other. This is what Geri called "The Inside." The character of Heidi in Closetspace was originally going to have multiple personalities (Heidi being a feminine of Hieronymous Bosch, who made pictures I thought described The Inside).
I lost track of Geri and JD in 1996. It was selfish of me - Dave was having trouble with his relationship with JD at the time, and I felt like I was in the way. As a result, my relationship with Geri deteriorated. She...they died of a heart attack some time later, and a dirty trick by my family kept me from going to the cremation. I never got to say good bye to the friends I had made.
I hope they're happy now. They finally have the silence they wanted so badly.
Years later I had a very strange dream. I was back in Geri's house on the phone. Geri was also on the phone, talking to me from across the room. I couldn't make out what she was saying, but she said it with a smile.
JD. If you're out there somewhere. I hope you can forgive me. I can only hope that Geri, Carole, Sarah and Mary did before they left. Maybe they phoned it in....
