No, Grandma's just going to have to have her coronary this year.

I just deleted all the entries from when I was at Erin's. This'll most likely be a HUGE essay on the last week. So get yourself a drink, sit back, and have a good read.

ARTHUR
I didn't know how empty was my
soul until it was filled.

I woke up a bit TOO early Friday morning. I had gone to bed Saturday night around 8AM. Kept having wierd "Just before you fall to sleep thoughts" of someone trying to get into bed with me...something COLD...and my brain kept giving me this image of a cold corpse trying to get into bed. Kept waking me up. About 8AM, I finally fell to sleep...

Only to wake up about 2:30. Erin called me to say she was on her way down. I wasn't expecting her until more like 7PM, but because of the FANTASTIC weather we had those last few days, she took a weather day off.

Before I go on, let me say that I'm the worst person in the world to be with if you have a problem with storms. Storms REALLY pick me up, and from Wednesday Morning to Thursday Night, I was in thunderstorm heaven. It NEVER STOPPED. I went out to take my dad to work at 3AM. Dry as a bone, quiet as the grave...but lightning...EVERYWHERE. ::GUSH::

Anyways, back to the story. Erin picked me up about 5:30 and took me to Tres Amigos for Dinner with the rest. Unfortunately, we got seated next to a TV, and we all spent time trying very very hard (or hardly trying) to NOT look at the TV. Espcially since we had just scolded a seven year old for it. Matters were not made easier by the fact it was showing A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

I've always felt bad for poor Chuck - forced to make his own Thanksgiving feast at gunpoint by a ravenous Peppermint Patty. Only her Vulcan Science Officer Marcy was able to show Patty the error of her ways, and make things right.

My mood lifted like it hadn't in a LONG time there. Within an hour, I had unwound completely.

We came home, where I installed Windows 98SE on their old machine (appropriately named Frankenstein). Then installed Internet sharing to their new machine, which lacks a modem. Dell doesn't let you crack the box to install anything wihtout seriously messing with your warranty. But I got it working. I can't take complete credit for it working. Actually, I ahve no idea how I got it working, and have been thanking the Magical Reboot Faries for their assistance.

While they slept I taxed this machine to it ultimate ability by playing some MAME games. Mortal Kombat II and Street Fighter The Movie. They ROCK. I want one of these machines. They be soooooooooooooooooo nice.

Anyone want to buy me a P4? Please?

I took Andy to the airport. I also needed to take care of the kidlet tomorrow...it's a Saturday, he's a Kidlet...I had a feeling I wouldn't be getting much sleep. :)

Saturday, I was a bit blessed in that Marca decided to stay home and watch over Sean while I slept. And it was a BEAUTIFUL sleep. I woke up, didn't have that crushing feeling I have when I'm at home.

Once up, I simply hung out...watched some tube, talked with Marca, who, it turns out, is a big fan of game shows like I am. I don't often feel like I spend enough time with her, considering it was Marca who I met before I met Erin. If you can call ASCII chatting "meeting." :)

Erin was in a foul mood when she came in, so I did my best to leave them be. To my surprise, I found out I'd be there until Tuesday, instead of Monday. Good in that it's a day away from my mother. Bad in that it's a day away from Thanksgiving. That will make for a barrel of laughs.

We watched the Three Musketeers. A much better movie than I thought it would be. It kinda got me in a writing mood again, but I quelled that thought. I erally don't want life to get nasty again. Not here.

We were gonna catch Harry Potter Sunday....EARLY. Jenn doesn't do EARLY - but I gave it a good shot.

Sunday, I managed to get up at 9AM. OOF. That was painful...and I really only ended up with about four hours of sleep, so I was dizzy as all heck. Perfect mindset for a minddazzling movie. We got to the theater, and I was treated to the mind-numbing-magical-spectacular-eyecrossing-wrap-your-head-around-the-CGI-fest that Was Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone.

It got me, it really did. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who ahs never read the books...I never read them becaus eI'm just dont' get fantasy or magic. I just can't..."Get it." But this story was GREAT. And Ilook forward to the next seven sequels (no sarcasm intended).

The day went pretty slowly after the movie...I drifted in and out of semi-consciousness most of the day with lack of sleep. Made Carne Picada that came out pretty horribly. I can never get it like mom does, and I end up with pebbels of meat, instead of grains of meat. Still, no one seemed to compalin, so I guess I did good. I ended up going to sleep at about 2AM and woke up at 9AM. Still not ALL The sleep I would have liked, but not bad.

We were going to go to the park on Monday, but weren't able to because of a storm that ran through the area. Instead it was just more hanging out and enjoying each others company, Erin & I. A good time was had by all...I cooked Carne Gyuisada, and, this time, got it right. Marca ran a horroscope program for me and it revealed I was a pretty conflicted person, someone who tears at herself when trying to find answers. Yup. The horoscope Jens Petersen made for me years ago didn't seem to jibe with this one, so I'll ave to review his again. His made me out to be a massively successful celebrity, but that has yet to happen. I wonder whatever happened to Jens. He was a sweetie. Bed at 1AM.

Tuesday we got up at 8:30AM, and got the heck out of Dodge. Erin had an appointment with the doctor at 11AM. IT's a good hour and a half from Austin to San Antonio, and we made it about five minutes late. Not bad, I'd think, considering we had an emergency potty break, and an emergency ATM detour. We ran through town, grabbed a bite to eat at Jim's and I was dropped off at home.

The trip to Erin's may not sound like much. But it was. Why? I was GONE. Away from home. Withot the crushing presence of my mother hovering over me. I was able to be female again, something I'm not allowed in this house. I was called by name, I was referred to with the right pronouns. My life was back in alignment. And I was happy. Deleriously happy.

When I got home, I was happy, bouncy, bubbly. My world was GOOD. My spirits had lifted so much even my mom commented on it. That evening, I rented Star Trek The Motion Picture on DVD because I was curious at what they did to it. I'm a sucker for STTMP. It's really the only "Scifi" movie in the bunch, and it's got quite the backstage political backstabbing history. There's a reason that movie is boring to all hell. But the DVD fixed that, allowed Rob Wise to recut it the way HE liked it and now sTTMP plays like a thriller...very little time to sit back and try to get your bearings...where as before not only was there time to get your bearings, but to solve the mystery and wonder how much longer the movie would go on and wether you wanted another candy or a soda or something. Kudo's to the restorers on that.

Today has been nothign big, really. Ran off to drop off some checks for my dad at work...ahve to stay up to 2AM to pick Dad up.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

This year, I have had very little to be thankful for. I honestly was thining of just thinking of scrapping the whole holiday (shades of Jenn 1995, who nearly gave up Christmas...something Jens Petersen (there he is again!) talked me out of).

I have lost so much this year. And 2001 will go down as the worst of my life. But today...I am happy.

I didn't realize just how bad I'd gotten till I got away fro mhere. There's a point where you live with something so long, you get numb to it, and sensitive to other things. Being in Erin's house numbed my sense of "Your world is harming you." And made me sensitive to "Friends are good."

At home, I'm an embarrassment, not to go out because "What would the neighbors think."

Away, I am with friends.

And that, has made all the difference.

I am thankful to and for the friends, who are more family to me than my own blood.

No, Grandma's just going to have to have her coronary this year.

I just deleted all the entries from when I was at Erin's. This'll most likely be a HUGE essay on the last week. So get yourself a drink, sit back, and have a good read.

ARTHUR
I didn't know how empty was my
soul until it was filled.

I woke up a bit TOO early Friday morning. I had gone to bed Saturday night around 8AM. Kept having wierd "Just before you fall to sleep thoughts" of someone trying to get into bed with me...something COLD...and my brain kept giving me this image of a cold corpse trying to get into bed. Kept waking me up. About 8AM, I finally fell to sleep...

Only to wake up about 2:30. Erin called me to say she was on her way down. I wasn't expecting her until more like 7PM, but because of the FANTASTIC weather we had those last few days, she took a weather day off.

Before I go on, let me say that I'm the worst person in the world to be with if you have a problem with storms. Storms REALLY pick me up, and from Wednesday Morning to Thursday Night, I was in thunderstorm heaven. It NEVER STOPPED. I went out to take my dad to work at 3AM. Dry as a bone, quiet as the grave...but lightning...EVERYWHERE. ::GUSH::

Anyways, back to the story. Erin picked me up about 5:30 and took me to Tres Amigos for Dinner with the rest. Unfortunately, we got seated next to a TV, and we all spent time trying very very hard (or hardly trying) to NOT look at the TV. Espcially since we had just scolded a seven year old for it. Matters were not made easier by the fact it was showing A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

I've always felt bad for poor Chuck - forced to make his own Thanksgiving feast at gunpoint by a ravenous Peppermint Patty. Only her Vulcan Science Officer Marcy was able to show Patty the error of her ways, and make things right.

My mood lifted like it hadn't in a LONG time there. Within an hour, I had unwound completely.

We came home, where I installed Windows 98SE on their old machine (appropriately named Frankenstein). Then installed Internet sharing to their new machine, which lacks a modem. Dell doesn't let you crack the box to install anything wihtout seriously messing with your warranty. But I got it working. I can't take complete credit for it working. Actually, I ahve no idea how I got it working, and have been thanking the Magical Reboot Faries for their assistance.

While they slept I taxed this machine to it ultimate ability by playing some MAME games. Mortal Kombat II and Street Fighter The Movie. They ROCK. I want one of these machines. They be soooooooooooooooooo nice.

Anyone want to buy me a P4? Please?

I took Andy to the airport. I also needed to take care of the kidlet tomorrow...it's a Saturday, he's a Kidlet...I had a feeling I wouldn't be getting much sleep. :)

Saturday, I was a bit blessed in that Marca decided to stay home and watch over Sean while I slept. And it was a BEAUTIFUL sleep. I woke up, didn't have that crushing feeling I have when I'm at home.

Once up, I simply hung out...watched some tube, talked with Marca, who, it turns out, is a big fan of game shows like I am. I don't often feel like I spend enough time with her, considering it was Marca who I met before I met Erin. If you can call ASCII chatting "meeting." :)

Erin was in a foul mood when she came in, so I did my best to leave them be. To my surprise, I found out I'd be there until Tuesday, instead of Monday. Good in that it's a day away from my mother. Bad in that it's a day away from Thanksgiving. That will make for a barrel of laughs.

We watched the Three Musketeers. A much better movie than I thought it would be. It kinda got me in a writing mood again, but I quelled that thought. I erally don't want life to get nasty again. Not here.

We were gonna catch Harry Potter Sunday....EARLY. Jenn doesn't do EARLY - but I gave it a good shot.

Sunday, I managed to get up at 9AM. OOF. That was painful...and I really only ended up with about four hours of sleep, so I was dizzy as all heck. Perfect mindset for a minddazzling movie. We got to the theater, and I was treated to the mind-numbing-magical-spectacular-eyecrossing-wrap-your-head-around-the-CGI-fest that Was Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone.

It got me, it really did. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who ahs never read the books...I never read them becaus eI'm just dont' get fantasy or magic. I just can't..."Get it." But this story was GREAT. And Ilook forward to the next seven sequels (no sarcasm intended).

The day went pretty slowly after the movie...I drifted in and out of semi-consciousness most of the day with lack of sleep. Made Carne Picada that came out pretty horribly. I can never get it like mom does, and I end up with pebbels of meat, instead of grains of meat. Still, no one seemed to compalin, so I guess I did good. I ended up going to sleep at about 2AM and woke up at 9AM. Still not ALL The sleep I would have liked, but not bad.

We were going to go to the park on Monday, but weren't able to because of a storm that ran through the area. Instead it was just more hanging out and enjoying each others company, Erin & I. A good time was had by all...I cooked Carne Gyuisada, and, this time, got it right. Marca ran a horroscope program for me and it revealed I was a pretty conflicted person, someone who tears at herself when trying to find answers. Yup. The horoscope Jens Petersen made for me years ago didn't seem to jibe with this one, so I'll ave to review his again. His made me out to be a massively successful celebrity, but that has yet to happen. I wonder whatever happened to Jens. He was a sweetie. Bed at 1AM.

Tuesday we got up at 8:30AM, and got the heck out of Dodge. Erin had an appointment with the doctor at 11AM. IT's a good hour and a half from Austin to San Antonio, and we made it about five minutes late. Not bad, I'd think, considering we had an emergency potty break, and an emergency ATM detour. We ran through town, grabbed a bite to eat at Jim's and I was dropped off at home.

The trip to Erin's may not sound like much. But it was. Why? I was GONE. Away from home. Withot the crushing presence of my mother hovering over me. I was able to be female again, something I'm not allowed in this house. I was called by name, I was referred to with the right pronouns. My life was back in alignment. And I was happy. Deleriously happy.

When I got home, I was happy, bouncy, bubbly. My world was GOOD. My spirits had lifted so much even my mom commented on it. That evening, I rented Star Trek The Motion Picture on DVD because I was curious at what they did to it. I'm a sucker for STTMP. It's really the only "Scifi" movie in the bunch, and it's got quite the backstage political backstabbing history. There's a reason that movie is boring to all hell. But the DVD fixed that, allowed Rob Wise to recut it the way HE liked it and now sTTMP plays like a thriller...very little time to sit back and try to get your bearings...where as before not only was there time to get your bearings, but to solve the mystery and wonder how much longer the movie would go on and wether you wanted another candy or a soda or something. Kudo's to the restorers on that.

Today has been nothign big, really. Ran off to drop off some checks for my dad at work...ahve to stay up to 2AM to pick Dad up.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

This year, I have had very little to be thankful for. I honestly was thining of just thinking of scrapping the whole holiday (shades of Jenn 1995, who nearly gave up Christmas...something Jens Petersen (there he is again!) talked me out of).

I have lost so much this year. And 2001 will go down as the worst of my life. But today...I am happy.

I didn't realize just how bad I'd gotten till I got away fro mhere. There's a point where you live with something so long, you get numb to it, and sensitive to other things. Being in Erin's house numbed my sense of "Your world is harming you." And made me sensitive to "Friends are good."

At home, I'm an embarrassment, not to go out because "What would the neighbors think."

Away, I am with friends.

And that, has made all the difference.

I am thankful to and for the friends, who are more family to me than my own blood.