My rediculously circuitous plan is afoot!

Parte the Firste: Thanks.

This year I have a lot to be thankful for, more
than most years. I am thankful for my friends,
who take excellent care of me even in the hardest
times, and when I'm not particularly pleasing to
help.

I am thankful for my health. Despite the lack of
hormones this last week, I'm very happy that
hormones are all I have to worry about.

But this year, I'm most thankful (and I sure hope
this doens't sound goofy) for my readers. With
AWFW now more than 2/3rds of the way through it's
(original) storyline (it's gotten longer since)
and Closetspace becoming more and more popular,
I'm finally feeling something I've wanted to feel
for a very long time - artistic accomplishment.
People are reading and enjoying the stories, and
you don't know happy this makes me. I'd all but
given up on ever writing or drawing, and did
AWFW on a whim. CS was something I decided to
do later since AWFW seemed to be coming along
well. I did the comics because I
wanted to do it, not because I wanted readers. I
never figured people would actually ENJOY these
comics, and that they'd be inspired by them. The
completely makes my day.

Thanks for reading, you've really made this old
bird happy.

And now, since the Dreamcast is being snippy, I
post this and THEN start Parte the Second.

My rediculously circuitous plan is afoot!

Parte the Firste: Thanks.

This year I have a lot to be thankful for, more
than most years. I am thankful for my friends,
who take excellent care of me even in the hardest
times, and when I'm not particularly pleasing to
help.

I am thankful for my health. Despite the lack of
hormones this last week, I'm very happy that
hormones are all I have to worry about.

But this year, I'm most thankful (and I sure hope
this doens't sound goofy) for my readers. With
AWFW now more than 2/3rds of the way through it's
(original) storyline (it's gotten longer since)
and Closetspace becoming more and more popular,
I'm finally feeling something I've wanted to feel
for a very long time - artistic accomplishment.
People are reading and enjoying the stories, and
you don't know happy this makes me. I'd all but
given up on ever writing or drawing, and did
AWFW on a whim. CS was something I decided to
do later since AWFW seemed to be coming along
well. I did the comics because I
wanted to do it, not because I wanted readers. I
never figured people would actually ENJOY these
comics, and that they'd be inspired by them. The
completely makes my day.

Thanks for reading, you've really made this old
bird happy.

And now, since the Dreamcast is being snippy, I
post this and THEN start Parte the Second.

Parte The Seconde: Turkey Day

I may have overreacted....

There was no sniping, no nagging, no nastiness,
and very few bumps in the road after all.
Novembers still suck in my book, but today wasn't
the horror show I thought it would be.

Some notes before continuing. I'm not allowed in
the house female, under any cirumstances, until
my parents are "Ready." They haven't been ready
in Twelve Years. This always puts me on edge
because I have to remember my old name (I don't
respond to it anymore) and make sure to call my
ex a "she" (My Ex being F2M) and all sorts of
other pronoun nastiness.

I usually have to hide my breasts. This year I
said screw that. Sadly, no one seemed to notice.
:)

Wednesday Night

---

My dad is amazed
that the Dreamcast can get on the net. He really
wanted to see it work, so I showed him a few
websites and he's hooked. I then showed him the
AWFW site, and he couldn't believe I was drawing
again. He wants it bookmarked, along with my news

page (http://www.dolari.org/news.html) so he can
visit Drudge Report and KENS-TV News and the
like.

I kinda don't wanna do it. I'd hate for him to
stumble across the journal and read some of the
stuff I write here. Or worse, have him come
across Closetspace and think Carrie's Dad is a
version of him.

I got $15 more in donatoins! Hot dog!

Turkeyday

---

Again, I was very
surprised at how laid back and non-snipy everyone
was today. I have to say that it's prolly my
dad's doing. He's in therapy for Post-Traumatic
Stress Syndrome AND just got a hearing aid. So
he's not shouting at anyone because he can't hear
them. He was even telling Vietnam War stories
which he NEVER does. He was in a great mood all
night long.

Mom, true to her Martha Stewart nature, had a
massive spread of turkey, ham, potato casserole,
greenbeans, rolls and a million pies (including
an Amish Apple Pie recipe from PA I gave her!).
Food was good, company was good, everyone was
actually happy. The day ended very well, I am
very happy, and things are very good. Let's hope
it lasts till Christmas. :)

Several of my cousins came over, and we talked
for a while as if I never went away. I hadn't
seen them in seven years. My Uncle wants me to
go shopping with him to buy a computer. I only
wish I could just come out and tell them what I'm
doing. I'll lose some of my family (and some wil
prolly try to kick my ass) but I hate not being
able to talk with my extended family and enjoy
their company.

The day was very good. That isn't to say there
wasn't a bump or two on the road.

1) The Cousin. I dont mind The Cousin all that
much. He's got Developmental Problems, and tends
to wander aimlessly to anyone who will listen to
his life story. I really don't mind this, since
he honestly wants to talk about things he's
worried about, but his stories get long and
rambling. I listen, though. It's tough, because
it'll be a 45 minute one way conversation,
sometimes told twice. But it makes his day to
get it off his chest. Small bump.

2) The Uncle. This man pisses me off. He knows
everything about everything, knows it better than
you, has done it better than you, and spews out
facts from his ass every moment of his waking
life. He won't let you go. Divert your
attention, and he will walk into your line of
sight. Step away from him, he takes two steps
forward. He follows you like a puppy, talks like
an expert on everything, invades your personal
space and will grab you if he can't get any
closer. And he "One Ups" ABOUT EVERYTHING. You
have a story to tell, he'll one up you. If you
wrote 12 pages of a story in an hour, he did 20
in thirty minutes. If you know one fact, he
knows the rest. And if you call him on t, he
replies with the "That's what they'd have you
believe." No one likes him. But he's the only
one who will sit and take care of my
grandmother. This is a guy I wanna say SHUT UP
to every three minutes. And in the other two
minutes, everyone else is wanting to say it to
him. We were glad to see him go. OH SO VERY
GLAD. Big Bump.

3) The grandmother. In a priceless moment, she
looked at me and said "Que chula." Which mean
"What a beautiful girl." Not sure if it was just
a mis-saying, a touch of Alzheimers (which she was

just diagnosed with) or just her figuring it out,
but I was all smiles. My parents were not as
happy. Itty bitty happy bump. :)

Now a post and Parte The Thirde

Parte The Seconde: Turkey Day

I may have overreacted....

There was no sniping, no nagging, no nastiness,
and very few bumps in the road after all.
Novembers still suck in my book, but today wasn't
the horror show I thought it would be.

Some notes before continuing. I'm not allowed in
the house female, under any cirumstances, until
my parents are "Ready." They haven't been ready
in Twelve Years. This always puts me on edge
because I have to remember my old name (I don't
respond to it anymore) and make sure to call my
ex a "she" (My Ex being F2M) and all sorts of
other pronoun nastiness.

I usually have to hide my breasts. This year I
said screw that. Sadly, no one seemed to notice.
:)

Wednesday Night

---

My dad is amazed
that the Dreamcast can get on the net. He really
wanted to see it work, so I showed him a few
websites and he's hooked. I then showed him the
AWFW site, and he couldn't believe I was drawing
again. He wants it bookmarked, along with my news

page (http://www.dolari.org/news.html) so he can
visit Drudge Report and KENS-TV News and the
like.

I kinda don't wanna do it. I'd hate for him to
stumble across the journal and read some of the
stuff I write here. Or worse, have him come
across Closetspace and think Carrie's Dad is a
version of him.

I got $15 more in donatoins! Hot dog!

Turkeyday

---

Again, I was very
surprised at how laid back and non-snipy everyone
was today. I have to say that it's prolly my
dad's doing. He's in therapy for Post-Traumatic
Stress Syndrome AND just got a hearing aid. So
he's not shouting at anyone because he can't hear
them. He was even telling Vietnam War stories
which he NEVER does. He was in a great mood all
night long.

Mom, true to her Martha Stewart nature, had a
massive spread of turkey, ham, potato casserole,
greenbeans, rolls and a million pies (including
an Amish Apple Pie recipe from PA I gave her!).
Food was good, company was good, everyone was
actually happy. The day ended very well, I am
very happy, and things are very good. Let's hope
it lasts till Christmas. :)

Several of my cousins came over, and we talked
for a while as if I never went away. I hadn't
seen them in seven years. My Uncle wants me to
go shopping with him to buy a computer. I only
wish I could just come out and tell them what I'm
doing. I'll lose some of my family (and some wil
prolly try to kick my ass) but I hate not being
able to talk with my extended family and enjoy
their company.

The day was very good. That isn't to say there
wasn't a bump or two on the road.

1) The Cousin. I dont mind The Cousin all that
much. He's got Developmental Problems, and tends
to wander aimlessly to anyone who will listen to
his life story. I really don't mind this, since
he honestly wants to talk about things he's
worried about, but his stories get long and
rambling. I listen, though. It's tough, because
it'll be a 45 minute one way conversation,
sometimes told twice. But it makes his day to
get it off his chest. Small bump.

2) The Uncle. This man pisses me off. He knows
everything about everything, knows it better than
you, has done it better than you, and spews out
facts from his ass every moment of his waking
life. He won't let you go. Divert your
attention, and he will walk into your line of
sight. Step away from him, he takes two steps
forward. He follows you like a puppy, talks like
an expert on everything, invades your personal
space and will grab you if he can't get any
closer. And he "One Ups" ABOUT EVERYTHING. You
have a story to tell, he'll one up you. If you
wrote 12 pages of a story in an hour, he did 20
in thirty minutes. If you know one fact, he
knows the rest. And if you call him on t, he
replies with the "That's what they'd have you
believe." No one likes him. But he's the only
one who will sit and take care of my
grandmother. This is a guy I wanna say SHUT UP
to every three minutes. And in the other two
minutes, everyone else is wanting to say it to
him. We were glad to see him go. OH SO VERY
GLAD. Big Bump.

3) The grandmother. In a priceless moment, she
looked at me and said "Que chula." Which mean
"What a beautiful girl." Not sure if it was just
a mis-saying, a touch of Alzheimers (which she was

just diagnosed with) or just her figuring it out,
but I was all smiles. My parents were not as
happy. Itty bitty happy bump. :)

Now a post and Parte The Thirde

Parte the Thirde: D00D WHERZ MY CAPS?

The other day, I got an IM from a friend who
wanted to know how to build a magick shield. No
ones ever asked me for magick help, and that's
when I've realized I'm completely Magick Blind.
There was a while there were I felt every living
thing on the planet buzzing like a caffiene
addict, but it's all gone now.

I did my best, gave her some advice that was
given to me about visualization of flasks and
forcefields and wished her luck.

I just naturally assumed this Magick stuff wasn't
for me.

However, when I was literally "breaking out" back
then, there was a specific feeling I had, like
butterflies in the stomach, only a lot weaker. I
noticed this time around, the closer I got home,
the more I felt it and now that I'm back home, I
feel it constantly. I also notice that while i'm
here, my severely weak magical will works. I
used it to get The Uncle to go away by
visualizing him with crystal clarity being
pushed.

I wonder if you can literally ground something to
the point that it ANCHORS in a spot. I notice
here that I can do a lot of stuff I thought I
lost over the months.

Or, if maybe I wasn't doing anything at all, but
my mother is (who has a will the size of New
Jersey, and just as smelly), and I'm tapping into
that.

Parte the Thirde: D00D WHERZ MY CAPS?

The other day, I got an IM from a friend who
wanted to know how to build a magick shield. No
ones ever asked me for magick help, and that's
when I've realized I'm completely Magick Blind.
There was a while there were I felt every living
thing on the planet buzzing like a caffiene
addict, but it's all gone now.

I did my best, gave her some advice that was
given to me about visualization of flasks and
forcefields and wished her luck.

I just naturally assumed this Magick stuff wasn't
for me.

However, when I was literally "breaking out" back
then, there was a specific feeling I had, like
butterflies in the stomach, only a lot weaker. I
noticed this time around, the closer I got home,
the more I felt it and now that I'm back home, I
feel it constantly. I also notice that while i'm
here, my severely weak magical will works. I
used it to get The Uncle to go away by
visualizing him with crystal clarity being
pushed.

I wonder if you can literally ground something to
the point that it ANCHORS in a spot. I notice
here that I can do a lot of stuff I thought I
lost over the months.

Or, if maybe I wasn't doing anything at all, but
my mother is (who has a will the size of New
Jersey, and just as smelly), and I'm tapping into
that.

A bit of undigested meat....

Just had a nightmare, and I never got to sleep.

I layed down to go to sleep, and I tried to
visualize the top of a cloud, something to get me
sleeping. Immediately I heard my mother's
voice. I tried to block her out, but I couldn't
she was right there. I turned around and there
she was, telling me what a horrible son i've
been.

I setup a shield to push her away and she walked
right through it, all the while yelling and
screaming at me.

I semi-woke up and turned on my stomach, where I
immediately heard another voice laughing at me.
Through a yellow haze, I saw a Chinese man
laughing at me. I attemped to shrink my shield
so he'd be outside of it, but he immediately
reappeared.

Somehow, I must have woken up a bit again,
because I saw my room through half open eyes. I
saw a dark shape over me that snorted, which woke
me up with a scream.

I'm still shaking. i think I'll be sleeping with
the lights and TV on....

A bit of undigested meat....

Just had a nightmare, and I never got to sleep.

I layed down to go to sleep, and I tried to
visualize the top of a cloud, something to get me
sleeping. Immediately I heard my mother's
voice. I tried to block her out, but I couldn't
she was right there. I turned around and there
she was, telling me what a horrible son i've
been.

I setup a shield to push her away and she walked
right through it, all the while yelling and
screaming at me.

I semi-woke up and turned on my stomach, where I
immediately heard another voice laughing at me.
Through a yellow haze, I saw a Chinese man
laughing at me. I attemped to shrink my shield
so he'd be outside of it, but he immediately
reappeared.

Somehow, I must have woken up a bit again,
because I saw my room through half open eyes. I
saw a dark shape over me that snorted, which woke
me up with a scream.

I'm still shaking. i think I'll be sleeping with
the lights and TV on....