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Oct. 22nd, 2011
Growing Up Trans - Into the Trenches
Oct. 22nd, 2011 01:01 pmGrowing Up Trans - Into the Trenches
The final realization that I didn't "make it" as an art person was Trinoc 2005.
Trinoc 2004 was a huge success for a small con, and the LGBT panel that year was standing room only. We were all invited back for the Trinoc 2005 convention, and even more trans webcomic artists were invited.
But midway through the preparations, the convention runners changed, and the whole tone of the con changed. The LGBT portion was heavily downplayed and somewhat any negotiations or requests were treated with hostility. It got so bad that Erin quit the con, and I did as well (I did, however end up showing up as my plane tickets were already paid for for both Emily and myself, and got a free pass to the con when I was recognized).
While the LGBT participants had their panels listed on their badges, there were no mentions of it in the convention, either on the scedules, or posted up. When we brought it up to the con-runners, a quick handwritten sign was put up in front of a meeting room, just minutes before the panel. Needless to say, that hour was filled with the people we brought, and no one else.
Essentially it was a financial disaster for all involved, including the con-runners. While cons are really never money making ventures for the panelists (I go to say "Hi!" to the fans, and meet other interesting people) this one was pretty pathetic. The year before, there were some 600 con goers, this year because of the severe mismanagement (not just of the LGBT portion, but the whole con), I'd be surprised if there were more than 100.
While I'd often dealt with hostility regarding being trans (losing two jobs and a near arrest), I'd never seen it applied to more than me, or having all of us treated as an vocal nuisance.
After a promise from one of the con-owners, I was told next year would be better and invited to come back. In the end, though, the damage was done, and despite coming back, and having a well promoted convention, so many people were alienated from the behaviour from 2005, that 2006 wasn't much better. I didn't go to 2007, as I was scouting housing in Seattle, and the convention closed down shortly afterwards.
I'd been friends with Gwen Smith, from our days on the AOL Transgender Gazebo. She was observing the Gwen Araujo (a young transwoman who was strangled, then smashed in the head with a can and a frying pan, then dumped in the mountains). I followed the trial in the comfort of my computer desk, sperated by a computer screen and reporters articles, and was horrified at everything I was reading. Gwen, however, was right there, with the people on trial, watching it unfold in real time and living color. I watched it take a horrible emotional toll on her.
Between our the treatment as a non-entity at the con, the details of Gwen Araujo's death, and how it was affecting both Gwen and I, I felt I had to do something, even if it was only preaching to the choir.
And thus began the Transgender Day of Remembrance Webcomics Project, which ran (in my incarnation) from 2005 to 2009. For several of those years, I even scoured the web and compiled names of the murdered, before deferring to Ethan St. Pierre's list of names.
I can see why Gwen went into semi-retirement. That stuff leaves you with emotional scars a mile wide.
But watching each year, as the list of vigils got longer, gave me hope that at least the message was out there. Who knows, maybe one day we'll have a year where there's no one on the list.
It's a dream I have.
Between the comics bringing in a little money, and Michael's willingness to help out with groceries, my savings had lasted a good long while. But it was time to look for work. shortly before Trinoc 2006, I interviewed for a job in a more rural area of Texas. I honestly didn't expect to get it, especially as it was an 80 mile round trip from where I was.
During the interviewing process, I was very frank about who and what I was. After being fired twice for being trans, each job interview (including and after the German Kiosk one) knew I was transgendered up front. I didn't want any surprises. A sign that I was in good hands was when the HR director asked ME what issues to expect, instead of glossing it over, and how I would like to solve them if they came up.
Wow.
The only other concern was that I lived 40 miles away on the other side of Austin from the town. I replied that if I got the job, I'd move closer as soon as I was able. When I got the job, I didn't just get a stack of papers to sign, but a stack of apartment brochures and rent costs from the HR department. That was very awesome of them.
So with about $500 of my original $3000 left, I moved in and began working at one of the best places I'd ever worked. So much so, I didn't mind having my work-week split into 6 days (3 ten hour days, and 2 five hour days). They did photoprinting as well, so encouraged my art and allowed me to use their printers, as long as the paper and company logo appeared on the watermark on the back. In short, they were awesome.
Shortly after I started work, though, the inevitable happened. There was an HR complaint about "A man using the women's restroom." Nothing made up, nothing vicious, just a general complaint and that it needed to stop. Agian, the HR department was really classy about it, and I compromised a solution. I wouldn't used the shared women's bathroom up front, but use the single one in the back. In return, I was allowed to have a slightly longer break period since it was farther back and required walking. This way, everyone was happy.
They'd been good to me, I wanted to do good by them. Also - I needed the job.
About six months later, I found out who it was that complained. But by that time, she and I were good friends, and she understood my trans condition and what I was doing much better. She apologized, and I told her I understood. I started using the shared women's room again.
Kept the longer break time though.
During my two years at the photo printing company, Emily and I fell deeper into love, and began looking into options to be closer to each other. She was on Vancouver Island in Canada, I was in Central Texas. As we were an international couple, citizenship issues came into play. As it stood, the only feasable way we could get together would be for me to go to Canada to be with her.
I had about $5000 saved for my surgery. I needed another $3000 for the cheapest (safe) surgery I could get, or $7000 for the cheapest US surgery. I could wait a few more years for my surgery, then wait longer to move closer to Emily, or I could do it now, and save up then.
I'd made a decision that by the time I was 31, my surgery would become second priority to getting on with my life. I was now 33. I made the decision to use my savings to move to Seattle, where I'd be closer to Emily, and work towards my surgery there.
I mean, nothing could go wrong. Could it?
The Plan as of the mid-2008:
1)Move out by 1992. Completed 1996. Recompleted 1997. Rerecompleted 2002.
2)Six month of therapy for hormones by 1993. Completed 1998.
2a)Actually start hormones. Completed 2000.
3)Two years of living as a woman started by 1994. Completed 2001.
3a)Actually get surgery papers. completed 2004
4)Surgery in 1999. 2001. 2003. Eventually. Whenever. July 2005. When I can afford it.
Growing Up Trans Chapters:
Preschool - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238402.html
Elementary School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238626.html
The Nightmare of Fifth Grade (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238939.html
Middle School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239155.html
High school - Year 1 & 2 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239578.html
High school - Year 3 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2240215.html
High school - Year 4 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2241302.html
Opening up to a Whole New World - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2242118.html
Intermission #1 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245139.html
The Boulton and Park Society - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243005.html
The Birth of Jenn Dolari - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243105.html
Life with Geri - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244596.html
False Starts - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244834.html
New Name, New Home - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245871.html
The Real Life Test - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246452.html
First Impressions - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246872.html
The Dark Side of the Knife - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2250079.html
Lone Star Rising - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2247894.html
My Chemical Romance (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2248223.html
La Semana Cansado - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2251372.html
Lone Star Falling - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2249137.html
The Stone of Sisyphus - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252049.html
The final realization that I didn't "make it" as an art person was Trinoc 2005.
Trinoc 2004 was a huge success for a small con, and the LGBT panel that year was standing room only. We were all invited back for the Trinoc 2005 convention, and even more trans webcomic artists were invited.
But midway through the preparations, the convention runners changed, and the whole tone of the con changed. The LGBT portion was heavily downplayed and somewhat any negotiations or requests were treated with hostility. It got so bad that Erin quit the con, and I did as well (I did, however end up showing up as my plane tickets were already paid for for both Emily and myself, and got a free pass to the con when I was recognized).
While the LGBT participants had their panels listed on their badges, there were no mentions of it in the convention, either on the scedules, or posted up. When we brought it up to the con-runners, a quick handwritten sign was put up in front of a meeting room, just minutes before the panel. Needless to say, that hour was filled with the people we brought, and no one else.
Essentially it was a financial disaster for all involved, including the con-runners. While cons are really never money making ventures for the panelists (I go to say "Hi!" to the fans, and meet other interesting people) this one was pretty pathetic. The year before, there were some 600 con goers, this year because of the severe mismanagement (not just of the LGBT portion, but the whole con), I'd be surprised if there were more than 100.
While I'd often dealt with hostility regarding being trans (losing two jobs and a near arrest), I'd never seen it applied to more than me, or having all of us treated as an vocal nuisance.
After a promise from one of the con-owners, I was told next year would be better and invited to come back. In the end, though, the damage was done, and despite coming back, and having a well promoted convention, so many people were alienated from the behaviour from 2005, that 2006 wasn't much better. I didn't go to 2007, as I was scouting housing in Seattle, and the convention closed down shortly afterwards.
I'd been friends with Gwen Smith, from our days on the AOL Transgender Gazebo. She was observing the Gwen Araujo (a young transwoman who was strangled, then smashed in the head with a can and a frying pan, then dumped in the mountains). I followed the trial in the comfort of my computer desk, sperated by a computer screen and reporters articles, and was horrified at everything I was reading. Gwen, however, was right there, with the people on trial, watching it unfold in real time and living color. I watched it take a horrible emotional toll on her.
Between our the treatment as a non-entity at the con, the details of Gwen Araujo's death, and how it was affecting both Gwen and I, I felt I had to do something, even if it was only preaching to the choir.
And thus began the Transgender Day of Remembrance Webcomics Project, which ran (in my incarnation) from 2005 to 2009. For several of those years, I even scoured the web and compiled names of the murdered, before deferring to Ethan St. Pierre's list of names.
I can see why Gwen went into semi-retirement. That stuff leaves you with emotional scars a mile wide.
But watching each year, as the list of vigils got longer, gave me hope that at least the message was out there. Who knows, maybe one day we'll have a year where there's no one on the list.
It's a dream I have.
Between the comics bringing in a little money, and Michael's willingness to help out with groceries, my savings had lasted a good long while. But it was time to look for work. shortly before Trinoc 2006, I interviewed for a job in a more rural area of Texas. I honestly didn't expect to get it, especially as it was an 80 mile round trip from where I was.
During the interviewing process, I was very frank about who and what I was. After being fired twice for being trans, each job interview (including and after the German Kiosk one) knew I was transgendered up front. I didn't want any surprises. A sign that I was in good hands was when the HR director asked ME what issues to expect, instead of glossing it over, and how I would like to solve them if they came up.
Wow.
The only other concern was that I lived 40 miles away on the other side of Austin from the town. I replied that if I got the job, I'd move closer as soon as I was able. When I got the job, I didn't just get a stack of papers to sign, but a stack of apartment brochures and rent costs from the HR department. That was very awesome of them.
So with about $500 of my original $3000 left, I moved in and began working at one of the best places I'd ever worked. So much so, I didn't mind having my work-week split into 6 days (3 ten hour days, and 2 five hour days). They did photoprinting as well, so encouraged my art and allowed me to use their printers, as long as the paper and company logo appeared on the watermark on the back. In short, they were awesome.
Shortly after I started work, though, the inevitable happened. There was an HR complaint about "A man using the women's restroom." Nothing made up, nothing vicious, just a general complaint and that it needed to stop. Agian, the HR department was really classy about it, and I compromised a solution. I wouldn't used the shared women's bathroom up front, but use the single one in the back. In return, I was allowed to have a slightly longer break period since it was farther back and required walking. This way, everyone was happy.
They'd been good to me, I wanted to do good by them. Also - I needed the job.
About six months later, I found out who it was that complained. But by that time, she and I were good friends, and she understood my trans condition and what I was doing much better. She apologized, and I told her I understood. I started using the shared women's room again.
Kept the longer break time though.
During my two years at the photo printing company, Emily and I fell deeper into love, and began looking into options to be closer to each other. She was on Vancouver Island in Canada, I was in Central Texas. As we were an international couple, citizenship issues came into play. As it stood, the only feasable way we could get together would be for me to go to Canada to be with her.
I had about $5000 saved for my surgery. I needed another $3000 for the cheapest (safe) surgery I could get, or $7000 for the cheapest US surgery. I could wait a few more years for my surgery, then wait longer to move closer to Emily, or I could do it now, and save up then.
I'd made a decision that by the time I was 31, my surgery would become second priority to getting on with my life. I was now 33. I made the decision to use my savings to move to Seattle, where I'd be closer to Emily, and work towards my surgery there.
I mean, nothing could go wrong. Could it?
The Plan as of the mid-2008:
1)
2)
2a)
3)
3a)
4)
Growing Up Trans Chapters:
Preschool - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238402.html
Elementary School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238626.html
The Nightmare of Fifth Grade (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238939.html
Middle School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239155.html
High school - Year 1 & 2 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239578.html
High school - Year 3 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2240215.html
High school - Year 4 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2241302.html
Opening up to a Whole New World - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2242118.html
Intermission #1 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245139.html
The Boulton and Park Society - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243005.html
The Birth of Jenn Dolari - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243105.html
Life with Geri - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244596.html
False Starts - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244834.html
New Name, New Home - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245871.html
The Real Life Test - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246452.html
First Impressions - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246872.html
The Dark Side of the Knife - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2250079.html
Lone Star Rising - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2247894.html
My Chemical Romance (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2248223.html
La Semana Cansado - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2251372.html
Lone Star Falling - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2249137.html
The Stone of Sisyphus - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252049.html
Growing Up Trans - Intermission #5 - A Clean Close Shave
1993.
Steph and I had gone to the dollar movies several times as Jenn now, and I was feeling much more comfortable in my presentation as a woman. I decided to see if I could do it myself, and tried to make a trip to the theater on my own.
I bought my ticket, and went in to watch the Fugitive. About halfway through, though, the supersize soda I'd gotten was kicking in, and, feeling pretty sure of myself, I went into the ladies room alone. There were only tow others in there, so I went in, did my business, washed my hands, and on my way out, was stopped by security.
I was quickly ushered into the manager's office where one of the girls in the restroom was waiting. "That's him. That's the one. I want him arrested."
I was told to sit down. Suddenly it got very noisy outside.
"The police are already on their way, miss."
I looked at her, trying to figure out what kind of person would want me arrested. She was trembling, but it wasn't a scared kind of tremble. It was an angry one. No tears, but a angry furrowed brow. She was furious.
A crash came from outside and the security guard looked up from his paperwork, curious. He went back filling out paperwork.
What the heck was I gonna do? Was it even illegal in Texas to use the wrong restroom? Go to jail? In full female regalia? This wasn't the way I'd wanted to come out to my parents.
Suddenly there was another loud thump. This time the security guard got up and looked out, to find a full on knock-down drag-on fight going on between four kids. He ran out.
And so did I.
I never went back to that theater again. To this day, I will not use a public women's restroom unless I absolutely have to.
Growing Up Trans Chapters:
Preschool - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238402.html
Elementary School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238626.html
The Nightmare of Fifth Grade (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238939.html
Middle School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239155.html
High school - Year 1 & 2 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239578.html
High school - Year 3 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2240215.html
High school - Year 4 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2241302.html
Opening up to a Whole New World - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2242118.html
Intermission #1 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245139.html
The Boulton and Park Society - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243005.html
The Birth of Jenn Dolari - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243105.html
Life with Geri - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244596.html
False Starts - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244834.html
New Name, New Home - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245871.html
The Real Life Test - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246452.html
First Impressions - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246872.html
The Dark Side of the Knife - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2250079.html
Lone Star Rising - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2247894.html
My Chemical Romance (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2248223.html
La Semana Cansado - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2251372.html
Lone Star Falling - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2249137.html
The Stone of Sisyphus - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252049.html
In the Trenches - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252961.html
1993.
Steph and I had gone to the dollar movies several times as Jenn now, and I was feeling much more comfortable in my presentation as a woman. I decided to see if I could do it myself, and tried to make a trip to the theater on my own.
I bought my ticket, and went in to watch the Fugitive. About halfway through, though, the supersize soda I'd gotten was kicking in, and, feeling pretty sure of myself, I went into the ladies room alone. There were only tow others in there, so I went in, did my business, washed my hands, and on my way out, was stopped by security.
I was quickly ushered into the manager's office where one of the girls in the restroom was waiting. "That's him. That's the one. I want him arrested."
I was told to sit down. Suddenly it got very noisy outside.
"The police are already on their way, miss."
I looked at her, trying to figure out what kind of person would want me arrested. She was trembling, but it wasn't a scared kind of tremble. It was an angry one. No tears, but a angry furrowed brow. She was furious.
A crash came from outside and the security guard looked up from his paperwork, curious. He went back filling out paperwork.
What the heck was I gonna do? Was it even illegal in Texas to use the wrong restroom? Go to jail? In full female regalia? This wasn't the way I'd wanted to come out to my parents.
Suddenly there was another loud thump. This time the security guard got up and looked out, to find a full on knock-down drag-on fight going on between four kids. He ran out.
And so did I.
I never went back to that theater again. To this day, I will not use a public women's restroom unless I absolutely have to.
Growing Up Trans Chapters:
Preschool - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238402.html
Elementary School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238626.html
The Nightmare of Fifth Grade (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238939.html
Middle School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239155.html
High school - Year 1 & 2 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239578.html
High school - Year 3 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2240215.html
High school - Year 4 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2241302.html
Opening up to a Whole New World - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2242118.html
Intermission #1 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245139.html
The Boulton and Park Society - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243005.html
The Birth of Jenn Dolari - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243105.html
Life with Geri - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244596.html
False Starts - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244834.html
New Name, New Home - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245871.html
The Real Life Test - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246452.html
First Impressions - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246872.html
The Dark Side of the Knife - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2250079.html
Lone Star Rising - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2247894.html
My Chemical Romance (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2248223.html
La Semana Cansado - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2251372.html
Lone Star Falling - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2249137.html
The Stone of Sisyphus - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252049.html
In the Trenches - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252961.html
Growing up Trans - But You're Only Thirty Seven!
Yup. On top of that I'm stopping right here at Mid 2008, which means it ends when I'm actually just Thirty Four. I have very strong feelings about the events that happened after 2008. So strong I don't think I can be objective about them yet. Let's set some water flow under that bridge before we decide to tell those stories. Check back about 2013, maybe.
I got the idea for "Growing Up Trans" after watching a few episodes of the Japanese anime series "Wandering Son" about two trans-kids trying to come to terms with who they are before the onslaught of puberty. It struck a chord in me, making me remember my life around the same time.
And it got me thinking about writing a couple of entries about my own growing up. Something for kids these days to stumble across and let them know, "Hey, you're not alone." What I planned to post were just quick recollections and notes for further expansion.
This originally wasn't meant a full on autobiography. It was only when I found out a lot of non-trans people were reading this, and finding it informative and eye-opening to a way of life they'd only guessed at. I decided to expand it to my whole life, keeping to a trans-specific theme.
What I've posted here could be considered a very rough draft of something bigger, especially those first "let's throw memories on the wall and see what sticks" entries. Eventually, I plan to greatly expand these, re-edit, fix up and clear up the stories, refocus them a bit when they get off tangent, and post them on my website under the name "The Girl in the Mirror."
One person wants to see this as a Kindle Single book. I wouldn't say no to that.
So now I'd like your advice.
Was there anything more you wanted to see? Any questions I left unanswered? Anything you've wanted to know or understand? Did I leave something off you wanted to see more of? Did you not see enough of something else? Do you have any questions? Commments?
EMail me: jenn@dolari.net
Anonymously if you have to. Seriously. I'll answer any question asked in good faith, and consider adding it to the revised "Girl in the Mirror" with it.
Thanks for reading. :)
FINAL CHAPTER LIST:
Growing Up Trans Chapters:
Preschool - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238402.html
Elementary School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238626.html
The Nightmare of Fifth Grade (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238939.html
Middle School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239155.html
High school - Year 1 & 2 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239578.html
High school - Year 3 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2240215.html
High school - Year 4 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2241302.html
Opening up to a Whole New World - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2242118.html
Intermission #1 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245139.html
The Boulton and Park Society - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243005.html
A Clean Close Shave - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2253268.html
The Birth of Jenn Dolari - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243105.html
Life with Geri - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244596.html
False Starts - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244834.html
New Name, New Home - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245871.html
The Real Life Test - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246452.html
First Impressions - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246872.html
The Dark Side of the Knife - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2250079.html
Lone Star Rising - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2247894.html
My Chemical Romance (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2248223.html
La Semana Cansado - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2251372.html
Lone Star Falling - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2249137.html
The Stone of Sisyphus - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252049.html
In the Trenches - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252961.html
But You're Only 37! -http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2253382.html
Yup. On top of that I'm stopping right here at Mid 2008, which means it ends when I'm actually just Thirty Four. I have very strong feelings about the events that happened after 2008. So strong I don't think I can be objective about them yet. Let's set some water flow under that bridge before we decide to tell those stories. Check back about 2013, maybe.
I got the idea for "Growing Up Trans" after watching a few episodes of the Japanese anime series "Wandering Son" about two trans-kids trying to come to terms with who they are before the onslaught of puberty. It struck a chord in me, making me remember my life around the same time.
And it got me thinking about writing a couple of entries about my own growing up. Something for kids these days to stumble across and let them know, "Hey, you're not alone." What I planned to post were just quick recollections and notes for further expansion.
This originally wasn't meant a full on autobiography. It was only when I found out a lot of non-trans people were reading this, and finding it informative and eye-opening to a way of life they'd only guessed at. I decided to expand it to my whole life, keeping to a trans-specific theme.
What I've posted here could be considered a very rough draft of something bigger, especially those first "let's throw memories on the wall and see what sticks" entries. Eventually, I plan to greatly expand these, re-edit, fix up and clear up the stories, refocus them a bit when they get off tangent, and post them on my website under the name "The Girl in the Mirror."
One person wants to see this as a Kindle Single book. I wouldn't say no to that.
So now I'd like your advice.
Was there anything more you wanted to see? Any questions I left unanswered? Anything you've wanted to know or understand? Did I leave something off you wanted to see more of? Did you not see enough of something else? Do you have any questions? Commments?
EMail me: jenn@dolari.net
Anonymously if you have to. Seriously. I'll answer any question asked in good faith, and consider adding it to the revised "Girl in the Mirror" with it.
Thanks for reading. :)
FINAL CHAPTER LIST:
Growing Up Trans Chapters:
Preschool - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238402.html
Elementary School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238626.html
The Nightmare of Fifth Grade (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2238939.html
Middle School - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239155.html
High school - Year 1 & 2 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2239578.html
High school - Year 3 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2240215.html
High school - Year 4 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2241302.html
Opening up to a Whole New World - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2242118.html
Intermission #1 - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245139.html
The Boulton and Park Society - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243005.html
A Clean Close Shave - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2253268.html
The Birth of Jenn Dolari - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2243105.html
Life with Geri - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244596.html
False Starts - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2244834.html
New Name, New Home - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2245871.html
The Real Life Test - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246452.html
First Impressions - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2246872.html
The Dark Side of the Knife - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2250079.html
Lone Star Rising - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2247894.html
My Chemical Romance (NSFW) - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2248223.html
La Semana Cansado - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2251372.html
Lone Star Falling - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2249137.html
The Stone of Sisyphus - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252049.html
In the Trenches - http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2252961.html
But You're Only 37! -http://jenndolari.livejournal.com/2253382.html
(no subject)
Oct. 22nd, 2011 05:10 pmNote to self: revised version shoule have "shopping adventures." First trip, first bra, first boots and shoes.....
Co-Ed Weight Training.
moms final acceptance, grandmothers cooking utensils
jack, chad, jefferson, john, george, brian
Fraternity Row, the 11 O'Clock Walk. That guy from Altex.
Co-Ed Weight Training.
moms final acceptance, grandmothers cooking utensils
jack, chad, jefferson, john, george, brian
Fraternity Row, the 11 O'Clock Walk. That guy from Altex.
(no subject)
Oct. 22nd, 2011 11:41 pmMom wrote my full first name on a letter to me today. First time ever. I feel guilty about writing about our fights over my transition, now.