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http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=21797645

The votes as they stand:
COMICS IIII
NOVEL II
CAFE TACVBA ROCKS I

Today I made the switch. No, I didn't change my long distance carrier. Nor did I go on decaf. I didn't even get sex-change surgery. No - I switched personal icons. :) Sounds kinda silly, don't it? Well, it kinda is, but it also isn't. Role models are a big thing in someones life, even if they're video game characters.

For a very long time, Chun Li wasn't just a video game cahracter, she was a role model. First off, she was a woman who fought as an equal alongside the men around her. She was capable, strong, and in some cases even menacing. Much more so than Barbie ever was. She has an amazing backstory involved in justice for her murdered father, she's in Interpol, she's basically a lot of things I would like to be: Honor, Justice, Strength.

But in the last few weeks, I've literally had my belief systems twist and warp. PArticularly the way I see the natural (versus the man-made) works around me. My mood is changing, and so are my expectations, views and observations.

I'm noticing that Chun Li is too vengeful. Too singleminded. Almost selfish. Once her quest is over, what will she be then? I also noticed, my tendency to use the Nakoruru avatars here. I originally posted up Chun Li (Standard posts), Kitana (Mad posts) and Nakoruru (Cute posts) as my three avatars for the longest time...and I'm using Nakoruru more as a regular avatar. Nakoruru has a definate link to nature, one which I've always had, but is now becoming much more...enhanced. And while she also fights, she tends to do it as a protector instead of the veangance driven Chun. And the more I think about it, the more I'm like her instead of Chun. So...I've made the swtich. Expect to see it manifest in the website soon. :)

Anyways - today was a nice day. Its unbelievably hot for January here, and we've even had the air conditioner running to coolthe house a bit (although, it's moer to get the humidity OUT of the house and back into the air than to cool the house down). So I went out into our backyard, to the swing chair and read. Quite literally I don't get out of the house at all. I can't leave for the front yard because my parents consider me an embarassment. I don't go out back because if anyone is downstairs at the time, they'll grab me for something (dissertations, go to the groceries, or "If you're outside, I want to be outside,too." (No, no specific people ar ebeing mentioned here, why do you ask?)). I thought it was just general depression that made me feet run down and tired most of the day. Made me sleep 10 to 12 hours a night. Made me feel old and run down.

There was no one in the house, just me and the gentle humming of the computer. No one to distract me, no one to pull me away. So I left and went outside for a good read on Mom's swinging chair. It lasted all of thirty minutes.

Was I pulled away by a family desperately seeking to make me feel 17 again?

Was I distracted by the barking dogs who reacted to every squeak of the swing chair?

Did an asteroid hit me on the head leaving a crater the size of Denver and a massive death toll in its wake?

No...I ended it after thirty minutes, because I was literally vibrating with energy. I suddenly had all these ideas and thoughts in my head...My body felt like it could jump over the house several times over. I felt like soeone had decided to feed me caffiene directly into my head, and that my brain was swimming in electricity. I FELT DAMNED GOOD. I ran back inside (only because the computer is inside, if I coulda dragged it outside, I woulda) and virtually redesigned my entire webpage. ON A LARK. Because I had the energy. Even right now, I'm a bit tired. but I could probably run the Boston Marathon right now.

I need more Nature in my life. I think she's trying to embrace me in a welcoming hug.

I may take Deener or Erin up on their offer to move in, regardless of the job situation - just so I can have nature time again, and anti-family time, and friends and everything. I like this feeling a lot.

Prolly'll make for interesting dreams tonight. :)