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dolariThey week has been prety blah, which is why there hasn't been much to say lately. Although I had several revelations today, which I need to work out on the homefront. More on that later, too.
There was a big story I was gonna write about frustrations, but...I had it in my head that March had 30 days and not 31. So I'll wait on that till later.
I've managed to snag the entire run of the Star Trek animated series. It's incredibly well written if not very well animated or voice acted.
Emily and I are doing the dance (as Erin so nicely phrased it). It's either lovely and and a work of art, or gooshy and cootie filled. Depends on the viewer. :) I know which way I'm leaning. I digs her. I digs her a LOT. July needs to get here quicker. :)
She recently wrote in her journal "Chatted at length with Jenn about cats, bicycles, cars, tarot and wicca." It got me thinking about what and who I am in the metaphysical.
I have a very very very very HUGE skeptic streak. It's something that has actually made it hard for me to enjoy anything fantasy-ish without it being incredibly grounded (boils down to LOTR, and even then, it pings the Skeptic Meter pretty hard). I have a HUGE amount of trouble in trying to believe in something I can't feel or experience (or isn't a Logical Progression, I prefer Star Trek to Dune), which is why I was an athiest for so long.
(It's funny, now that I'm writing this, I'm watching the Animated episode "The Magicks of Megas-Tu, and it's a nice little saturday morning primer to Wicca, with the crew casting spells, making pentagrams and doing magic work :) )
Anyways, during a tough time in my life, my athiest thinking hit a dead end, and I was scrambling around for anything to pull me out of a funk that I saw no logical way out of of. That's when I really got a small zap in the head. I saw two Wiccan friends do magic work. It wasn't anything big, but I saw Cause and Effect. This wqas enough to flip a "this is possible" switch in my head.
I asked the two for help, and they gave it. They gave me books to read (and as asked, the books have been passed on MANY times), taught me meditation, and shielding and the standard entry-level stuff. But I never got very much farther. The skeptic in me that had such hard times with the Christan God wasn't having ane easier time with the Two Gods, and I couldn't "believe" the spells and rituals, which pretty much negates any reason for doing them.
I haven't so much abandonned it, as I've reworked it into something of my own, although I wouldn't call it Wicca at all. More of an extension of the belief in self...but I find it funny how much friends come to me for wicca-ish help. A lot of these friends I've considered more knowledgable and even more "devout" than I ever was. After carefully trying to figure out the motive (best to be on your guard about such things) I always preface it with "Well, I never really got into it" and "I can only tell you what works for me" and "If you're really serious, check out these books."
So seeing "Chatted at length with Jenn about [...] wicca" just really strikes me strange. Especially, since in my own frame of reference, I'm not. :)
Anyways, just a ramble to get this out of my head (it's been stewing there since a few nights ago). And remember the "Skeptic" in me I was talking about? It's been whispering in my ear this whole entry saying "People reading this are gonna think you're a flake." At least it's not saying "This is so fucked up" anymore. :D
There was a big story I was gonna write about frustrations, but...I had it in my head that March had 30 days and not 31. So I'll wait on that till later.
I've managed to snag the entire run of the Star Trek animated series. It's incredibly well written if not very well animated or voice acted.
Emily and I are doing the dance (as Erin so nicely phrased it). It's either lovely and and a work of art, or gooshy and cootie filled. Depends on the viewer. :) I know which way I'm leaning. I digs her. I digs her a LOT. July needs to get here quicker. :)
She recently wrote in her journal "Chatted at length with Jenn about cats, bicycles, cars, tarot and wicca." It got me thinking about what and who I am in the metaphysical.
I have a very very very very HUGE skeptic streak. It's something that has actually made it hard for me to enjoy anything fantasy-ish without it being incredibly grounded (boils down to LOTR, and even then, it pings the Skeptic Meter pretty hard). I have a HUGE amount of trouble in trying to believe in something I can't feel or experience (or isn't a Logical Progression, I prefer Star Trek to Dune), which is why I was an athiest for so long.
(It's funny, now that I'm writing this, I'm watching the Animated episode "The Magicks of Megas-Tu, and it's a nice little saturday morning primer to Wicca, with the crew casting spells, making pentagrams and doing magic work :) )
Anyways, during a tough time in my life, my athiest thinking hit a dead end, and I was scrambling around for anything to pull me out of a funk that I saw no logical way out of of. That's when I really got a small zap in the head. I saw two Wiccan friends do magic work. It wasn't anything big, but I saw Cause and Effect. This wqas enough to flip a "this is possible" switch in my head.
I asked the two for help, and they gave it. They gave me books to read (and as asked, the books have been passed on MANY times), taught me meditation, and shielding and the standard entry-level stuff. But I never got very much farther. The skeptic in me that had such hard times with the Christan God wasn't having ane easier time with the Two Gods, and I couldn't "believe" the spells and rituals, which pretty much negates any reason for doing them.
I haven't so much abandonned it, as I've reworked it into something of my own, although I wouldn't call it Wicca at all. More of an extension of the belief in self...but I find it funny how much friends come to me for wicca-ish help. A lot of these friends I've considered more knowledgable and even more "devout" than I ever was. After carefully trying to figure out the motive (best to be on your guard about such things) I always preface it with "Well, I never really got into it" and "I can only tell you what works for me" and "If you're really serious, check out these books."
So seeing "Chatted at length with Jenn about [...] wicca" just really strikes me strange. Especially, since in my own frame of reference, I'm not. :)
Anyways, just a ramble to get this out of my head (it's been stewing there since a few nights ago). And remember the "Skeptic" in me I was talking about? It's been whispering in my ear this whole entry saying "People reading this are gonna think you're a flake." At least it's not saying "This is so fucked up" anymore. :D
