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dolariIn the middle of a really bad day at work, I suddenly had a random LJ post jog my memory of a small little group of friends who really got me on the path of where I needed to go back in the 90s.
At the time I had three good friends I was still talking with - Amy, David and Steph. Still dear dear friends to me. David had met a girl who went by JD. Not sure why...her real name was Kristen...which changed a few months after I met them to Sarah. But I digress....
I spent a lot of time with Dave in those days, and once JD found out that I was trans (I was still presenting as a boy), she took me in as an odler sister, despite me being several years older than her. Becoming closer friends to those two led me to meeting JD's mom, Geri.
Their relationship was a strange one - JD never called her mom, but called her by her given name. Likewise, Geri had a relationship with JD that wasn't motherly, but a good caring friend. I found it kind of odd, but just chalked that up to having a mother who really really really didn't want those apron strings ever cut off. Additionally, Geri, who also knew I was trans, totally loved having me over. We all got along really well as good friends.
After a few weeks, I noticed that Geri would sort of peek out from behind doors and peer at me with a wierd look on her face. A really funky grin. If I caught her, she'd jump back in the room, and then come out a few minutes later like nothing had happened. I found it REALLY odd at the time, but with JD and Dave around, it didn't feel like anything odd.
Then one week, they invited me over, and left me alone in the living room while they all talked in hushed tones in the dining room. I wasn't sure what was going on and was about to excuse myself thinking there was some kind of family emergency going on. Instead, JD came out with Dave and said there was something we all needed to talk about. Geri had multiple personalities.
Not only that, Geri wasn't the core personality - Geri was also one of the alters: a 16 year old artist who had been the "protector" of the rest of the clan. The person who would peer out between the door was Carole, a 6 year old girl who enjoyed pocket change. She was the one who wanted me to know she existed because she wanted to see "The Girl Inside Me." She was convinced I had an alter as well (I tried explaining it to her - but she's six...she couldn't "get" it).
We all got along great. Geri, being 16 (although the body being much much older) was really great to the kids Dave, Sarah and even I brought home. She was very much on our level, and took in strays and stragglers, got them up on their feet, and let them out into the world better people.
After some deep shit occured in my life (stuff I'd rather not talk about while updating from work), I became one of those stragglers. I needed a place to go that was away from my parents, and someplace where I could get my head straight. Geri's was the place to go.
Over the next six months with her Dave and JD in San Antonio, and Amy in Austin, I proceeded to decompress, unwind, and finally explore my femenine side, something I not only couldn't do at home, but was expressly forbidden to do, and sometimes threatened about.
Geri and Carole (and eventually the other alters I met: Sarah, Josie and Marianne (I think, I hardly ever saw her and I can't remember her name anymore)), taught me some serious life lessons. In six months, she taught me more about getting my ducks in order, learning to express myself better and allow myself to be who I wanted to be, and even some lessons on how to deal with the world when you're "not quite normal."
In return, Carole got a playmate, Sarah had someone to talk politics with, Geri hadsomeone to talk psychology with, and Josie...well...Josie had another someone to feed tons of bakery goods to.
After about six months, I got my act together, got a job and moved out into my old place. I still visited Geri and JD when I could, but the breakup of JD and David put a strain on the relationship. My hours weren't helping much either, and the apartment was a fair drive. But she was super proud of me, for moving on in my life in the direction I needed to go.
About a year after I moved out, she had a heart attack - we all got together to decide what needed to be done. JD had just turned 18, so she was fine, but Geri had taken in two of her grandchildren, and they needed to be taken care of, going to aunts and uncles (mom wasn't too reliable).
Geri died a few months later, we later found out she had cancer and the heart attack had made things much much worse. I wasn't able to go to the funeral, my parents kept me busy that evening (I had recently lost my job and had to move back) by keeping me on the road all night long. Her ashes were scattered, and I don't know where. Missing her funeral was one of the main reasons I up and left for Pennsylvania.
I sometimes think about JD and Geri...while things have been very rocky since, I never got a chance to thank them for showing me that there WAS something out there worth living for, how to live it without compromising who I was and for giving me some place to just be me. I miss them. Terribly.
At the time I had three good friends I was still talking with - Amy, David and Steph. Still dear dear friends to me. David had met a girl who went by JD. Not sure why...her real name was Kristen...which changed a few months after I met them to Sarah. But I digress....
I spent a lot of time with Dave in those days, and once JD found out that I was trans (I was still presenting as a boy), she took me in as an odler sister, despite me being several years older than her. Becoming closer friends to those two led me to meeting JD's mom, Geri.
Their relationship was a strange one - JD never called her mom, but called her by her given name. Likewise, Geri had a relationship with JD that wasn't motherly, but a good caring friend. I found it kind of odd, but just chalked that up to having a mother who really really really didn't want those apron strings ever cut off. Additionally, Geri, who also knew I was trans, totally loved having me over. We all got along really well as good friends.
After a few weeks, I noticed that Geri would sort of peek out from behind doors and peer at me with a wierd look on her face. A really funky grin. If I caught her, she'd jump back in the room, and then come out a few minutes later like nothing had happened. I found it REALLY odd at the time, but with JD and Dave around, it didn't feel like anything odd.
Then one week, they invited me over, and left me alone in the living room while they all talked in hushed tones in the dining room. I wasn't sure what was going on and was about to excuse myself thinking there was some kind of family emergency going on. Instead, JD came out with Dave and said there was something we all needed to talk about. Geri had multiple personalities.
Not only that, Geri wasn't the core personality - Geri was also one of the alters: a 16 year old artist who had been the "protector" of the rest of the clan. The person who would peer out between the door was Carole, a 6 year old girl who enjoyed pocket change. She was the one who wanted me to know she existed because she wanted to see "The Girl Inside Me." She was convinced I had an alter as well (I tried explaining it to her - but she's six...she couldn't "get" it).
We all got along great. Geri, being 16 (although the body being much much older) was really great to the kids Dave, Sarah and even I brought home. She was very much on our level, and took in strays and stragglers, got them up on their feet, and let them out into the world better people.
After some deep shit occured in my life (stuff I'd rather not talk about while updating from work), I became one of those stragglers. I needed a place to go that was away from my parents, and someplace where I could get my head straight. Geri's was the place to go.
Over the next six months with her Dave and JD in San Antonio, and Amy in Austin, I proceeded to decompress, unwind, and finally explore my femenine side, something I not only couldn't do at home, but was expressly forbidden to do, and sometimes threatened about.
Geri and Carole (and eventually the other alters I met: Sarah, Josie and Marianne (I think, I hardly ever saw her and I can't remember her name anymore)), taught me some serious life lessons. In six months, she taught me more about getting my ducks in order, learning to express myself better and allow myself to be who I wanted to be, and even some lessons on how to deal with the world when you're "not quite normal."
In return, Carole got a playmate, Sarah had someone to talk politics with, Geri hadsomeone to talk psychology with, and Josie...well...Josie had another someone to feed tons of bakery goods to.
After about six months, I got my act together, got a job and moved out into my old place. I still visited Geri and JD when I could, but the breakup of JD and David put a strain on the relationship. My hours weren't helping much either, and the apartment was a fair drive. But she was super proud of me, for moving on in my life in the direction I needed to go.
About a year after I moved out, she had a heart attack - we all got together to decide what needed to be done. JD had just turned 18, so she was fine, but Geri had taken in two of her grandchildren, and they needed to be taken care of, going to aunts and uncles (mom wasn't too reliable).
Geri died a few months later, we later found out she had cancer and the heart attack had made things much much worse. I wasn't able to go to the funeral, my parents kept me busy that evening (I had recently lost my job and had to move back) by keeping me on the road all night long. Her ashes were scattered, and I don't know where. Missing her funeral was one of the main reasons I up and left for Pennsylvania.
I sometimes think about JD and Geri...while things have been very rocky since, I never got a chance to thank them for showing me that there WAS something out there worth living for, how to live it without compromising who I was and for giving me some place to just be me. I miss them. Terribly.
