dolari | o/` How does food become poo! o/`

Oh man these last few days have been stressful. But it certainly seems for the better.

SATURDAY

I spent the whole day doing the comics while Dean packed up his stuff. I kind of felt like a heel drawing and coloring and whatnot while he moved all his stuff by himself, but he told me repeatedly it was okay.

I had no problem myself getting the comics done, and having plenty of time to move because, well...I've been living out of boxes for three years now. A lot of these boxes were packed when I moved from Austin to San Antonio that fatefall fall of 2001 and have never really been completely unpacked.

Therefore, stuff could be moved really quickly.

SUNDAY

So Began the Big Move. Just as I thought - Jenn's Truck + Pre Packaged Boxes = Quick Move. We moved nearly everything of mine inside of a half day and one trip. After the bulk of my stuff and One Full Truck was moved and thrown into the new living room, we ran off to quickly see THX 1138 at the theater.

In a nutshell THX 1138 is a great movie. A little wierd at times because...well...it's supposed to be. A lot of the Complete Consumerism / Humans as Disposable Resources rings a little truer than the last time I saw it (mainly due to being laid off three times since I last saw that movie). The CGI was very jarring. I'm all for Lucas revisiting his work (and in THX 1138 it WORKS becuase it's not a rewrite, just an enhancement), but a lot of the CGI stuff just stands WAY out past the 1970s footage.

I really dig the dystopia they're in...many of the cahracters in jail are there because they've been told there's no way out. They've never bothered to even try. So the prison has no walls and you can get out if you simply walk far enough. The television channels are all there today, too. You have the Sexy Dancing channel (aka Spike TV), the Violence Channel (WWE Wrestling) and the Important Nothings Channel (Fox News).

The rest of the evening was picking up some dinner, finding a cool tape of Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors) and moving some more. It's here where I began to get sore, especially in the legs.

MONDAY

Even more moving. Again, a whole day of moving going, last minute packing and the drive to finish what we started. Dean wasn't thinking we'd make it before midnight, I wasn't thinking I was going to make it past the day. Dean went to bed at 3AM, I kept packing and moved the entire kitchen until 5AM.

* * *

We weren't going to make it.

TUESDAY

We didn't make it. After Dean haggled with the apartment complex for one extra day to move out, we packed like mad to get the whole thing moved in one final go, even hiring movers to simply Get Things Done Faster. By the night, we were good and settled into our apartment.

For a little pre-celebration I hit Firebowl Cafe for food. Damn they make good potstickers and hot and Sour Soup. Wasn't so hot on their stirfry, but I simply chose the wrong ingredients to make (basically, Firebowl is a Mongolian Grill place, but instead of you picking exactly what you want, you choosed from an A-B-C type menu.

By 10 PM, we were settled in.

* * *

I'm SERIOUSLY out of shape. Starting Sunday night, I believe I started to overheat. I was sweating profusely, literally soaking my clothes. I took three cold showers (One Sunday, two Monday) and as soon as I was out, I felt warm again. My thighs and calves complain with every step even today.

It wass not a fun time. I was hurting, frustrated at not being able to watch a movie I wanted to, while we relaxed a little, some other shit was going on and then I gashed my foot on a misplaced video card. That was the straw that broke the camels back, and I went into an semi angry crying rage. I was just broken, completely by then.

Those cards are now gone, thank goodness...they were old, taking up space, and being held for someone who was prolly not going to pick them up. Screw it.

I now have my own room. This feels incredibly strange. Since 1997, I've not really had a place of my own. Dean and I shared a room from 1997-2001, then I lived at my parents disposal from 2001-2002. Then lived with Erin in their library for most of 2002. From 2002-2004 I've again shared a room with Dean.

This is the first time in seven years I've had something that is MINE again. It's a strange feeling. I feel very lonely and empty. Most of my stuff is in boxes, waiting to go on shelves and cabinets. Those are luxuries I haven't had in years. I'm going to have my own bed again, which is a definate different feeling.

It's funny, but I almost don't WANT it.

I've lived so nomadically and so temporarily that I can't really get my head wrapped around "This is mine."

I was talking with a friend, who drew this wonderful picture of one of her characters pregnant. One of her drives, it seems, is to have a child. What's sad is that those of us who are M2F can't really HAVE what some consider the whole point of being female - carrying a child. (It's NOT the whole point of being female...dont think I'm saying that...but a uterus does help in that regard). we were talking about our attitudes toward childbirth. She'd love to have one. I'd hate to bring one up in this terrible world. But the more we talked, the more I realized that's a rationalization...not a reason. Made me think about repression and doublespeak and misdirection. There are lots of things I believe about me and my behaviours that prolly aren't true, and are misdirection, because the reality of the situation is much much too harsh to be comfortable with the decisions I've made.

Told you it was a big update. :D