Growing Up Trans - Intermission #1
Oct. 18th, 2011 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariThe last episode or two haven't exactly been the most uplifting things to read. So I'm gonna take a little break from the rolling narrative to tell you a fun little story. Set your Wayback Machine to the Winter of 1992. My first real outing as a woman. Ho boy.
Steph had planned this for a couple of days. She wanted me to have a night out with Jenn, and we were gonna have some fun. But other than a night out, we hadn't really PLANNED anything. I showed up that night, pretty much at her mercy and nervous as hell. Up to this point, most of my crossdressing was done in privacy behind closed doors or on long dark drives, where no one could look in. I wasn't sure how this would go, only that I was scared three ways to Sunday.
Steph opened up her closet and started throwing out clothes left and right. Grabbing outfits, mixing, matching, throwing things at me to try, snatching them away. I was watching the master at work.
I tried most everything she threw at me. Some fit, most didn't. Eventually, we came up with an outfit that fit and looked good: a crushed velvet green top, with a very light loosely knit sweater and green denim patterned jeans. We couldn't find any shoes that came even close to fitting, so we went ahead with my sneakers. They weren't too obvious, and we hoped it wouldn't ping anyone. I took a look at what was exposed, and jumped in the shower for my usual battle against body hair, while Steph herself got ready for our night out.
Freshley deforested and dressed, as Steph finished her makeup, she proceeded to help me with mine. Well, she really just kinda did mine, as I was really really bad at doing makeup. I glued on some fake nails, and I fixed up my hair as best I could, and we had two girls ready to go out on the town...
...and still had no idea what we were going to actually do. Quite literally all dressed up with no where to go. And frankly if we never left the house, I'd have been just as happy. Cause this was really freakin' scary.
We couldn't go anywhere on an empty stomach, though - so dinner was in our immediate future. We didn't have much money, so our choices were very limited. Steph got a discount at the Quick Wok so we headed out that way and made it right to the door before we realized: BAD IDEA. I hung out there a lot as a male, so showing up as Jenn would be a really bad idea. But, we weren't going to leave the parking lot just yet.
"Wait. I gotta show you to Diane. I'll be right back!"
First off, her name wasn't Diane - I'm sure of it. I just can't remember what it is now, and Diane sounds good, so we'll use that. Secondly: turns out, several of the girls at Quick Wok knew I was trans, and one really wanted to get a look at me. Soon enough, Steph comes out with Diane in hand and pulls her over to the side of the car. Oh, crap. I rolled down the window.
Steph introduced me: "Diane, this is Jenn,"
"Oh....I was expecting more. Like feathers and makeup."
So, we moved on to another cheapie place, we could afford tht was just enough out of the way that if anything happened, we wouldn't hear about it from out friends. Subway. I walked in feeling like a million bucks, and steph ordered herself a small sandwich. The teller turned to me asked what I'd like.
I opened my mouth and froze. I'd never tried to speak like a woman. It all hit me at once - your voice is deep, you talk like normal, you're in trouble.
"What would you like, ma'am?"
"::SQUEAK::"
"Ma'am?"
"::pop::...inch...::click::.B...T..::squeak::"
Steph jumped in, "She'd like a 4 inch round BMT, thanks."
I squeaked very weakly to the cashier, "Thanks."
We quickly left and ate in the pickup as Steph stated what had just become obvious: "We REALLY need to work on your voice."
One dinner, and a very perplexed cashier later, we were off to see a movie at the dollar cinema. The movie? "The Crying Game." I shit you not. I didn't know the secret ending to that movie. Steph said I did. I didn't. Honestly.
One movie later, we exited the movie theater, and started heading out. Steph stopped me as I rushed towards the exit. "Wait a second, I need to use the bathroom. Come with me."
Oh. My. God.
The holiest of holies.
The one place you NEVER EVER go as a male.
The ladies room.
"You'll be fine, come on." I was absolutely certain I was going to be found out. A gender infiltrator, secretly gathering intelligence on the other side to report back to my male superiors. I. Was. Scared.
We went in and both did our business...surrounded on all sides by a solid mass of women of all ages. ::gulp::
We washed out hands and I fled. That was too close. When we got back in the pickup, Steph again turned to me: "You know, i got worried. I just had these visions of all these stalls with feet pointing one way, and one stall with the feet pointing the other...."
Steph had planned this for a couple of days. She wanted me to have a night out with Jenn, and we were gonna have some fun. But other than a night out, we hadn't really PLANNED anything. I showed up that night, pretty much at her mercy and nervous as hell. Up to this point, most of my crossdressing was done in privacy behind closed doors or on long dark drives, where no one could look in. I wasn't sure how this would go, only that I was scared three ways to Sunday.
Steph opened up her closet and started throwing out clothes left and right. Grabbing outfits, mixing, matching, throwing things at me to try, snatching them away. I was watching the master at work.
I tried most everything she threw at me. Some fit, most didn't. Eventually, we came up with an outfit that fit and looked good: a crushed velvet green top, with a very light loosely knit sweater and green denim patterned jeans. We couldn't find any shoes that came even close to fitting, so we went ahead with my sneakers. They weren't too obvious, and we hoped it wouldn't ping anyone. I took a look at what was exposed, and jumped in the shower for my usual battle against body hair, while Steph herself got ready for our night out.
Freshley deforested and dressed, as Steph finished her makeup, she proceeded to help me with mine. Well, she really just kinda did mine, as I was really really bad at doing makeup. I glued on some fake nails, and I fixed up my hair as best I could, and we had two girls ready to go out on the town...
...and still had no idea what we were going to actually do. Quite literally all dressed up with no where to go. And frankly if we never left the house, I'd have been just as happy. Cause this was really freakin' scary.
We couldn't go anywhere on an empty stomach, though - so dinner was in our immediate future. We didn't have much money, so our choices were very limited. Steph got a discount at the Quick Wok so we headed out that way and made it right to the door before we realized: BAD IDEA. I hung out there a lot as a male, so showing up as Jenn would be a really bad idea. But, we weren't going to leave the parking lot just yet.
"Wait. I gotta show you to Diane. I'll be right back!"
First off, her name wasn't Diane - I'm sure of it. I just can't remember what it is now, and Diane sounds good, so we'll use that. Secondly: turns out, several of the girls at Quick Wok knew I was trans, and one really wanted to get a look at me. Soon enough, Steph comes out with Diane in hand and pulls her over to the side of the car. Oh, crap. I rolled down the window.
Steph introduced me: "Diane, this is Jenn,"
"Oh....I was expecting more. Like feathers and makeup."
So, we moved on to another cheapie place, we could afford tht was just enough out of the way that if anything happened, we wouldn't hear about it from out friends. Subway. I walked in feeling like a million bucks, and steph ordered herself a small sandwich. The teller turned to me asked what I'd like.
I opened my mouth and froze. I'd never tried to speak like a woman. It all hit me at once - your voice is deep, you talk like normal, you're in trouble.
"What would you like, ma'am?"
"::SQUEAK::"
"Ma'am?"
"::pop::...inch...::click::.B...T..::squeak::"
Steph jumped in, "She'd like a 4 inch round BMT, thanks."
I squeaked very weakly to the cashier, "Thanks."
We quickly left and ate in the pickup as Steph stated what had just become obvious: "We REALLY need to work on your voice."
One dinner, and a very perplexed cashier later, we were off to see a movie at the dollar cinema. The movie? "The Crying Game." I shit you not. I didn't know the secret ending to that movie. Steph said I did. I didn't. Honestly.
One movie later, we exited the movie theater, and started heading out. Steph stopped me as I rushed towards the exit. "Wait a second, I need to use the bathroom. Come with me."
Oh. My. God.
The holiest of holies.
The one place you NEVER EVER go as a male.
The ladies room.
"You'll be fine, come on." I was absolutely certain I was going to be found out. A gender infiltrator, secretly gathering intelligence on the other side to report back to my male superiors. I. Was. Scared.
We went in and both did our business...surrounded on all sides by a solid mass of women of all ages. ::gulp::
We washed out hands and I fled. That was too close. When we got back in the pickup, Steph again turned to me: "You know, i got worried. I just had these visions of all these stalls with feet pointing one way, and one stall with the feet pointing the other...."
