(no subject)
Dec. 28th, 2011 12:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariI don't take compliments well. It's not that I hate them, I just never feel that I ever deserve them, or that what I'm being complimented on isn't something I've actually done.
When I was in Texas, Emily (Steph's daughter) complimented my legs, since she'd really never seen them before (I always wore jeans around her since I was Boy-type Jenn when I'd visit from Washington or Pennsylvania). She even complimented my feet, of all things. And I brushed it off, because: "Oh, my legs are giant turkey legs. And my feet look good because the boots I was wearing were squeezing my feet too tight."
"You've lost so much weight, you look great!"
"Oh ,that's the diabetes weight loss."
Today I got complimented on how much better I was looking, trimmed down, happier, dressing nicer. It really felt nice. But at the same time, I immediately said that that was the antidepressants. She wasn't having any of that: "No, it's you. And the confidence from knowing you have the unconditional love of a family again."
(Thank you, Cate!)
Another old friend today complimented me on being courageous, intelligent and witty. I immediately responded that I wasn't so good in the past. She also wasn't having any of that. :)
(Thank you, Terri!)
I really need to be more gracious when accepting compliments. I just wish I didn't have that knee-jerk reaction of "I don't deserve them."
When I was in Texas, Emily (Steph's daughter) complimented my legs, since she'd really never seen them before (I always wore jeans around her since I was Boy-type Jenn when I'd visit from Washington or Pennsylvania). She even complimented my feet, of all things. And I brushed it off, because: "Oh, my legs are giant turkey legs. And my feet look good because the boots I was wearing were squeezing my feet too tight."
"You've lost so much weight, you look great!"
"Oh ,that's the diabetes weight loss."
Today I got complimented on how much better I was looking, trimmed down, happier, dressing nicer. It really felt nice. But at the same time, I immediately said that that was the antidepressants. She wasn't having any of that: "No, it's you. And the confidence from knowing you have the unconditional love of a family again."
(Thank you, Cate!)
Another old friend today complimented me on being courageous, intelligent and witty. I immediately responded that I wasn't so good in the past. She also wasn't having any of that. :)
(Thank you, Terri!)
I really need to be more gracious when accepting compliments. I just wish I didn't have that knee-jerk reaction of "I don't deserve them."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-12-30 03:17 am (UTC)I don't know if you have any comparable opportunity, but I gradually became inured to compliments from 20 years as a performing artist. I'd say it took about 15 of those years to finally start saying "thank you" with a humble little bow, rather than pointing out my flubs or shortcomings or disappointments to whoever appreciated my performance.
Because that's what matters: someone appreciates what you did, or who you are, in some way. SO WHAT if you think they're wrong and "secretly" know why! When you get a compliment, it means you've brightened someone's day in some way, however small or large, whether through conscious effort or otherwise.
Yes, it's kind of scary and awkward just accepting compliments. But believe me: over time, they REALLY add up, if you let them in. And that gets paid forward by even more accidental day-brightening. It becomes a positive feedback loop, and we can always use more of those in our lives :)