(no subject)

[dolari]

Alright, I need some help from the peanut gallery. I'm going to do a "what its like being transgender" chapter in the book. I know what questions _I_ get asked. What questions do _you_ have? Don't be afraid to ask "silly" questions or "embarassing" ones. I'll answer honestly, and consider adding the question and answer to the book.

Anything you wanna know?

Comments

[hockeyfag.livejournal.com]

you've been on hormones for a number of years.. does "it" still work? Does it respond to..stimuli like it did pre hormones?

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Testosterone is responsible for the length and girth of your penis. How long and thick it is is dependent on how it responds to testosterone, and the amount in your system. From wha tI could tell, before I was a boy, I was rather...umm..endowed. Not porn star endowed, but also not a tiny. Killing that testosterone (or as much as I could get rid of it) cause that thing to shrink WAY down. Girth and width. I went from something the size of a banana at full salute to the size of the first two knuckles of my thumb.

Erections slowed then stopped completely. Oh, sometimes it'd try. You'd feel it start up, then kinda stop, crouch and put it's hands on it's knees and say "Just a minute, I just need to catch my breath." Sometimes, if it actually managed to to get to full size, it was only about the size of my middle finger before it decided to call it a night right away.

The sex drive just dies on hormones. In "The Nightmare of Fifth Grade" I mentioned how every thought I had was "tinged" with sex, anger or challenge. As I got older that evened out, to a more "normal." After about seventh grade, not everything with two carefully situated globes (breasts, butts, watermelons, canteloups, maps with east and west hemispheres, geometery homework) yelled "SEX ME."

Despite having very very very close female friends guiding me through my girlification, there were still areas they would not go. I used both falsies and even waterbaloons to simulate breasts before I grew my own. Angie wouldn't let me touch hers to try and get a "base line" of how I could make more convincing ones. Despite seeing me in my underwear hundreds of times as I dressed, Amy would not get dressed in front of me. Why? "Because guys look at girls differently than girls look at guys." I took offense to that - my interest was purely admiration/education.

But after I finally scrubbed most of the testosterone from my system, I can see that they were totally right. It wasn't just that my sex drive normalized, it's that I got used to it and could control it. The feelings were still there, and I still reacted to them - I could just choose to ignore them by then. Testosterone is responsible for sex drive, both in men and women. When it got out of my system, that sex-filter dissapeared. THIS is what Amy meant, and I can see what she meant now, and suddenly all those movies with "Not now, I have a headache" also make sense.

Off hormones, I'd masturbate probably twice a day. Maybe three times if my body was being a jerk. On hormones? Maybe once every two weeks? Three? The urge just wasn't there anymore, and when the occasion fdid hit me, it was more of "I need a nice relaxing something..." As one of my trans friend's joked "It's like I got three hours of my day back!"

Orgasms on estrogen, though...oh, holy cow. HOLY BAJEEZUS COW. I'm not sure how close my orgasms are to womens' (since much of the stimulation comes from your vagina, and uterine contractions are a big part of the orgasm, and I don't have those), but WOW. Instead of working hard for a quick kabang, you just get this rolling rise of "Oooh, this is a nice warm happy feeling in your pelvis" that becomes "Oh, I need to stretch every muscle in my body cause every time I do that feels GOOD," to a toe-curling-back-arching-spread-to-every-nerve-ending-of-your-body orgasm pulse that explodes to every end of your body. And that doesn't just diminish. No it sticks around...and it feels like almost every move you make, wether it's just stretching, or rolling over, or spreading my fingers, becomes part of that orgasm (My thing is that I almost uncontrollably point my toes, and if I happen to get a cramp in my legs from that (rarely), THAT becomes part of the orgasm, too), and slowly slowly ebbs away...over about five minutes of warm fuzziness.

There's almost no semen when I orgasm. 99% of the time, there's just nothing there. If I go a while without doing the deed, occasionally a drop or two of clear something will come out...many minutes later.

And on hormones? I can have another right away. If I like.