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Nov. 3rd, 2012 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariOne of the technical terms for transsexuality is "Gender Dysphoria." The unhappiness with one's gender. And while I've been a bit successful in my transition to a woman, there are things I cannot change. I've spent a lot of time and money trying to shoehorn the square peg in the round hole, but because it's not a perfect fit, that dysphoria is always there.
Usually, I can ignore it. I get by with what I've got so far...the breasts, the thinned out body hair, the styled hair. It all helps. But there's one thing that can severely trigger that dysphoria despite it all:
Animation design.
Not like Jessica Rabbit or what's her face from Cool World...but a well designed animated woman, who moves and animates gracefully, can trigger me like no ones business.
It's funny, because it's an ideal that no one, transgender or genetic, can live up to. But it never fails to make me realize I'm very very very far away from that ideal.
It's because of that dysphoria that I draw Carrie and Allison as incredibly passable. I have things I do with them to make sure people understand they weren't born women. Carrie's figure is very male. Allison is incredibly tall. But they pass, and pass well. It's my way of giving my transgender characters something I can't have myself.
The dysphoria passes in time. It always does. Just gonna be a long night....
Usually, I can ignore it. I get by with what I've got so far...the breasts, the thinned out body hair, the styled hair. It all helps. But there's one thing that can severely trigger that dysphoria despite it all:
Animation design.
Not like Jessica Rabbit or what's her face from Cool World...but a well designed animated woman, who moves and animates gracefully, can trigger me like no ones business.
It's funny, because it's an ideal that no one, transgender or genetic, can live up to. But it never fails to make me realize I'm very very very far away from that ideal.
It's because of that dysphoria that I draw Carrie and Allison as incredibly passable. I have things I do with them to make sure people understand they weren't born women. Carrie's figure is very male. Allison is incredibly tall. But they pass, and pass well. It's my way of giving my transgender characters something I can't have myself.
The dysphoria passes in time. It always does. Just gonna be a long night....
