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Aug. 25th, 2013 12:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariA week or two ago Alison came down to visit. During our first talk, she mentioned something to me that kind of struck me. Something along the lines of (and feel free to correct me, Alison), but "You, as a trans person, DID it. You integrated. You're successful." I've never really considered myself a successful transwoman. In fact, I think I'm a bit of a failure.
While I jumped through all the Standard of Care hoops back in the late 90s, I've yet to actually get my surgery, and have, in fact, given up on the idea I'll ever have money for it. While I talk like a woman, I don't sound like one. I speak in the highest range my voice will allow without flipping into falsetto...and it's not very convincing. I'm not very attractive, and have even called "An unfortunate looking woman." I'm anything but a success. Heck, I was fired for and nearly arrested for using the women's restroom. I'm not really all that good at this....
....but as some folks have told me - despite all that, I've managed to survive and do things most transwomen can't: hold down jobs, be accepted into women's spaces and lives, and even be a spokeswoman for the transgendered condition. There was something about a webcomic, too. Basically: I kinda DID do it. For all intents and purposes, I've become a woman.
I don't feel successful, most days. In fact, it's really rare that I feel like I've accompliushed anything. But some days I do have to admit to myself: I've come a long way. :)
While I jumped through all the Standard of Care hoops back in the late 90s, I've yet to actually get my surgery, and have, in fact, given up on the idea I'll ever have money for it. While I talk like a woman, I don't sound like one. I speak in the highest range my voice will allow without flipping into falsetto...and it's not very convincing. I'm not very attractive, and have even called "An unfortunate looking woman." I'm anything but a success. Heck, I was fired for and nearly arrested for using the women's restroom. I'm not really all that good at this....
....but as some folks have told me - despite all that, I've managed to survive and do things most transwomen can't: hold down jobs, be accepted into women's spaces and lives, and even be a spokeswoman for the transgendered condition. There was something about a webcomic, too. Basically: I kinda DID do it. For all intents and purposes, I've become a woman.
I don't feel successful, most days. In fact, it's really rare that I feel like I've accompliushed anything. But some days I do have to admit to myself: I've come a long way. :)
