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May. 21st, 2017 02:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariI smiled today. I smile all the time, sure, but today was a kind of a thing.
The last few days, I've been raveling up to Austin to meet friends. The first time up, I saw very little. While I had a good time with Erin and family, I went back to San Antonio feeling I hadn't really seen too much.
The second time, I went to see Samantha and Michael. I left super early, though, so I could drive around town and see the sights. I was actually feeling pretty poorly touring the town. Austin is home.
It's been home since I first lived there in 1996, and I've been struggling to get back since. I've had to leave it too often because I'd failed to thrive there. Seeing all the old haunts, and sights, I felt like Austin was such a missed opportunity. It was bittersweet. I missed these places that I enjoyed so much the years I tried to live there. And I was sad because of how I've had to leave that town.
Today, I found out that T&S was still open under a new name. I went, had some good dim sum (and destroyed my blood sugar doing it), and one of the dim sum servers recognized me. That made me happy. Leaving, I went through town, for one more, possibly last, run through the most important places in town. And this time, it was a fun time. I was happy to see these places, knowing they're still around.
I took a drive out to Fredericksburg, deep into the Hill Country, visiting the hills and the country, and the world I've missed for far too long. And I found myself genuinely smiling. Probably for the first time since September, and definately since my sister died.
I smile a lot, you say. Some of you remark on my smile. I do smile a lot. Mainly because I'm happy. But occasionally because I need to "project happiness" when I'm not. Sometimes it's to not freak you out. Sometimes it's to keep people from freaking me out.
I'm out of places to visit. Only a few more friends to call upon. I'll be heading back to Seattle in a week or two.
But today I was happy. I've seen so much of home, so much of Austin, so much of the Hill Country and so many of my friends that I was genuinely happy. That doesn't happen often. I'm glad it did.
The last few days, I've been raveling up to Austin to meet friends. The first time up, I saw very little. While I had a good time with Erin and family, I went back to San Antonio feeling I hadn't really seen too much.
The second time, I went to see Samantha and Michael. I left super early, though, so I could drive around town and see the sights. I was actually feeling pretty poorly touring the town. Austin is home.
It's been home since I first lived there in 1996, and I've been struggling to get back since. I've had to leave it too often because I'd failed to thrive there. Seeing all the old haunts, and sights, I felt like Austin was such a missed opportunity. It was bittersweet. I missed these places that I enjoyed so much the years I tried to live there. And I was sad because of how I've had to leave that town.
Today, I found out that T&S was still open under a new name. I went, had some good dim sum (and destroyed my blood sugar doing it), and one of the dim sum servers recognized me. That made me happy. Leaving, I went through town, for one more, possibly last, run through the most important places in town. And this time, it was a fun time. I was happy to see these places, knowing they're still around.
I took a drive out to Fredericksburg, deep into the Hill Country, visiting the hills and the country, and the world I've missed for far too long. And I found myself genuinely smiling. Probably for the first time since September, and definately since my sister died.
I smile a lot, you say. Some of you remark on my smile. I do smile a lot. Mainly because I'm happy. But occasionally because I need to "project happiness" when I'm not. Sometimes it's to not freak you out. Sometimes it's to keep people from freaking me out.
I'm out of places to visit. Only a few more friends to call upon. I'll be heading back to Seattle in a week or two.
But today I was happy. I've seen so much of home, so much of Austin, so much of the Hill Country and so many of my friends that I was genuinely happy. That doesn't happen often. I'm glad it did.
