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[personal profile] dolari
Miranda asked me to talk about Texas. So here we are....

Okay, so like Texas is big. It's really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to Texas.

High School Football is a religion. Like a complete, total, religion. Lives are on the line in Texas football. Families are torn apart on team affiliations. Republicans and Democrats have NOTHING on "Clark HS vs Marshall HS" shenannigans.

We eat beef. Lots of beef. BBQ beef. Slow cooked in a smoker over a day. It's fall off the bone tender. Teeth are optional in Texas BBQ. Teeth are often also optional in Texans.

Dairy Queens are everywhere. Much like when three people gather in his name, Jesus is there in spirit, if a town has more than three people, they have a Dairy Queen.

No one outside of Austin likes Austin. But if you're not from Texas and make fun of Austin, we'll beat you up.

Texans are a friendly sort. They're also quite kind. The guy walking into the Dairy Queen in the ten gallon hat, a gun in his holster under his trench coat and cowboy boots with spurs may look intimidating. But if you smile at him, he'll smile back.

Not joking about that one.

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