(no subject)

[dolari]

Last night I hit a real low, one I'm still in. Basically, the laser hair removal thing hit me very hard. It was really the one and only I could do right now to pass better.

If you remember when I wrote about (if I wrote about it, I can't remember), I mentioned the first few blasts from the laser made me stifle a scream. They eventually turned the power down and told me it might not be as effective. When I asked if I would see the same results with more treatments at this level, they said yes.

What they did was tolerable...still painful but tolerable.

After three weeks, I've had no improvement, and by no improvement I don't mean very little...I mean NO improvement. The pictures I've taken from the last three weeks are the same, and any patches and streaks I thought I had I've found on the "before the treatment" pictures.

And before you say "give it time" let me say two people who have had their laser removals were really worried that there was no change at all.

That was pretty much the last straw for me. I can't go to a higher setting without walking out from the pain, I can't afford to be spending $400 on a process that won't work on me on a barely tolerable level, and frankly, I give up.

I've already given up on my surgery, now I'm giving up on making any progress at all. My efforts are now focused on just holding my ground in this losing battle. If I can keep the spiro and the estrogen coming, I can at least maintain what I've got.

That will come to play soon, too. If insurance won't cover my actual doctor's visits then I'll go back to dodging customs again. At least I'll have the insurance for emergencies for now.

When Christians give me the line "God does not make mistakes" I usually say "No, he puts us on a path and it is up to us to interpret what he wants from that path."

Its hard for me not to imply something sinister from the path he's put me on.

Comments

[paradox-puree.livejournal.com]

If you are willing to try a few different places, I'd suggest trying a different laser machine. There are several different types out there, and a different one may have different results on your hair. Also, try taking some pain relievers just before going. It might help reduce some of the pain, allowing you to tolerate a stronger setting.

*hugs*