Perfect software invites the wrath of the gods.

[dolari]

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've spent a lot of time in Second Life
since it makes a nice little area where Emily and I can DO things
together, despite being 2420 miles apart.

I have a core group of friends there, that I see most every day, and some
extended friends I don't see too often. One of these...well...three of
these folks I see most every day, are children. Emily and I
are...well...aunts, it seems. Not the kind of aunt that's a family aunt,
but the kind of aunt that's really just an older friend to the kids.

And here we get into the area I've been exploring lately, called "WHAT THE
HELL AM I SAYING?!" I've been saying this quite a bit as of late.

Let's go back a few years. I tend to be fairly social online, and back in
the day, I was part of a lot of chatrooms and boards dedicated to
webcomics I really enjoyed. One of the chatrooms featured someone who
age-played a little kid. Now, I'm a pretty open minded person - when it
comes to ageplay, as long as its innocent ageplay I don't care.

However, because I was usually the only woman in the chatroom, this person
would "force" herself on me to be her mother. I didn't like that, and
wouldn't play along. This person never got the hint, even after telling
her straight up I didnt like it and wouldn't play along, she would just
keep at it. To the point that I stopped going to that chatroom and began
having problems with age-players.

It's kind of like the furry situation I had years ago. In one of my my
artisty jobs in the past I had to deal with some serious furry folks
(while not being furry myself), who eventually left such bad impression on
me I wrote off the whole movement.

Fly forward to a year or two ago, prolly about a year, I think.

A dear dear friend of mine goes into Second Life, and ends up age playing
a four year old. I'll admit, memories of going into that chatroom and
being greeted with "MOMMY!" began floating through my head. Unfortunatly,
this friend had heard of my problems with age players, and I think it kind
of put a rift between us. We certainly didn't talk for a long time, not
so much out of anger, as we didn't know how to jump that ravine.

Eventually, she took the initiative and we had a talk where she explained
to me what she was doing, and I explained to her that even if she told me
she was a furry ageplaying serial killer, she'd still be my friend and was
cool by me.

After some other personal issue with SL (I have issues with personally
roleplaying, as well as addiction issues), I took the plunge. My first
day there, I was just a friend to a tourguide who happened to look like a
four year old.

We still kind of maintained our distance, sure she was a friend and knew
the issues I had, but her friends were also kids, and they might all
decide they wanted an unwilling mom, and that would go in a very wrong
direction for me.

Then several of the group of friends I amassed started making kid avatars
of their own. One became a 8 year old. Another regressed to pre-teen.
But at the same time, none of them were aiming at me, asking me to hold
them or baby them or in anyway treat them anyway I didn't want to like
that one or two other people kept pushing on me.

Maybe this was okay. :)

Eventually I gave in, several of my friends were kids. I went out of my
way to treat them like I would any kid (which is essentially, a little
adult). In the case of the original person who got me here, I got to to
know their in-world family, and eventually became fast friends to most of
them, friendly to the rest I didn't quite know yet.

Then came the Big Age Play Debacle. Basically, in Germany, someone was
caught using a kid avvie to do some rather unpleasant things.
Immediately, the scream of "WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!" This
immediately boiled over into a pogrom on all kid avvies, innocent or not.

The first time I realized my feelings had changed was when I thought to
myself "This witch hunt is VERY WRONG." Yes what was done was disturbing,
and possibly illegal. But because the resulting witchhunt was followed by
a complete and total vigilante overcompensation, right off hand, I
defended the kids I knew.

I was talking with someone in SL who was very very veyr against kid
avatars, and I mentioned that I knew a few. Immediately she went on the
attack. "They're all freaks, perverts, we should ban all the kids, they're all
adults, they should BE adults."

I countered her the best I could, defending the kids I knew as the innocent little
kids they really WERE. Sure they're virtual, and the person on he other end
maybe WAY into the double digits...but are we all what we aren't in SL? At
least most of us?

And at that moment I had the very first of the "WHAT THE HELL AM I
SAYING?!" moments.

Me. The person who was so anti age-play.

And then you realize why you're defending them. "They're all freaks, perverts,
we should ban all the kids, they're all adults, they should BE adults." Change
"kids" to "transsexual" and "adults" to "men," and I've heard all these
arguments before. And, well., it was one of the exact same reason I was on SL
myself - to be what I wanted. Forcing them to be the age they HAD TO BE
would be the same if I was forced to go online in a male body.

Over the last few weeks, with the building of a new kid friendly island, I've
gotten to sit down and know my tourguide. I know her brother, and sister. I
even know their mom and dad a bit. The other day, as they were heading to
bed, her brother ran up to me and hugged me and Emily, calling me Auntie 1
and Emily Auntie 2. No permission asked to call me that. No subtle crossing of
boundary lines. No inkling of this before. And you know what? I didn't mind at
all. Unlike the first person in the chat room, here was a buildup of trust,
friendship and was just the natural progression of a fun friendship. And also, I
kinda like it. :)

Would I do the kid thing? No. One of my personal mantras is "Grow
Responsible, never Grow Up." Puberty thankfully didn't kill the kid in me. And
my ideal body isn't much shorter than 5 foot 6. I'm happy with who and what I
project in SL - it's me (well, minus about 200 pounds and with bright red hair,
but anyways). And part of the to me is a friend to these three kids and their
family.

So now anytime I hear about someone being an ass to a kid avatar, or about
the latest witch hunts, I just remind myself that the worst thing these kids ever
did was...



...catch a boot while fishing. :)

Comments

[chaoticset.livejournal.com]

Funny...this reminds me of a koan. :)

[fragment00.livejournal.com]

let people be what they want to be I say. I play online games to be myself personally, others play for their own reasons.
It just takes one person to ruin something for everyone. The idea of live and let live just doesn't seem to hold.

[kisai.livejournal.com]

meh, age-play seems to be right up there with furries and transformation. It's just wishful thinking. Second life allows for a 'what if' that otherwise could not be explored. There are -bad- things that can happen with any roleplaying subculture. Like for me, I was always turned off by IRC people trying to develop a family heirarchy, and would generally omit contributing to it. It's kinda fun to find someone online who looks a lot like you and go "TWIN!" or acts a lot like you, and that's kinda neat. But at the same time I don't like being given labels I don't want. And this is what I think you really had the problem with. I would no sooner give someone a label they don't want then I would virtually molest them.

I keep wanting to play Second Life, but never get around to doing anything with it.

[mikeyarrum.livejournal.com]

Second Life children might be a good way for me to fill fertile young minds with utter gibberish without feeling guilty...

Roleplays

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

never been very good with role-playing or role plays - always hopeless in D&D type games either as a player or a GM.

But I think that the bottom line about SL is that it's about all that, about using your imagination to be able to play the way you want to play. If that's being a kid, like the Wotch's brother being a girl sometimes, then why not?

One day I might return to SL. Maybe I'll try some role-playing again. If I do, and there are watchdogs saying what I can and can't be, then what's the point?

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

The part of this that I always choke on is someone else imposing their own morality on me. Their freedom of speech stops at the outer boundary of my domain. They can speak all they want, but they cannot force me to listen or act they way they want me to act. That's my choice, not theirs.

Witch hunts always hurt far more innocents than guilty parties.

[mmccann.livejournal.com]

Aww... great post! I'm glad I gotta be a tourguide for ya, too. I'm glad too dat you've been able to be comfortable 'round us, an also dat we gotta kinda show you dat not all peoples who's bein' a kid is gonna cross boundary lines, too. :-)

Always fun t'see you in-world!

Mari

[(Anonymous)]

carrie, i logg'd off and after reading that, i had to log back in with
tears in my eyes, and to thank you..for expanding your mind, unlike what alot of people do when
it comes to my children..i know that these are adults, and i know why they choose to be
children..and honestly, i i've grown so accustom to them, they are my children..even when i walk
back into my rl, i tell people i have 7 kids..an your right..the worst they've ever done is just
be a kid, harmful right?...not in my eyes..i love them dearly..in an out of this world and i
wouldn't exchange them for anything..

and i will add that before you down a child avie in sl, maybe you ought to
meet my lil peanut, my son the angel, and my peaches..i bet they'd change anyones mind ..through
the eyes of a child avatar..

thank you carrie, for defending my children and their rights..that means
alot to us :P

[emilydm.livejournal.com]

Moody Blues - Eyes of A Child, Part 1, Part 2. (They bookend Floating, which is also somewhat approprate for Second Life.)