That's so morally disordered, I don't know where to begin.

[dolari]

Am I doing the right thing?

I dislike my job - but I have fairly decent security. They're not going to fire me anytime soon. The people here are great if the hardware isn't. Am I jumping back into the fire like I did when I jumped out of the Wincor frying pan?

When I moved to Pennsylvania, I had a built in safety net in Dean. When things went spectacularly badly, Dean was there to help out, and boy did he help out. Most of my time in Pennsylvania time was a professional disaster.

I'm moving to Seattle soon. Turning my back on what I've built up in Texas, turning my back on a job that, while iffy, is currently secure, turning my back on my home that, while it's politically horrifying, is still home, and turning my back on terra firma for the terra icognito that is the Pacific Northwest. And while I have friends there - none of them could help me if I fail.

I've long since stopped trusting my judgement. I know that I have to go. I just don't know if that's a good idea.

Anyone got a cyanide pill I can keep in a secret compartment in a tooth for emergencies?

Comments

[evillord.livejournal.com]

Wanna know something? I got married early and I had my first child early. After buying this house, when I was 30, mortgages kept me at this location. Even now, as I am preparing to move, I am trying to stay in the same school district.

When I hear about this -- about being able to pack ones things in a car, move across country, and take a chance on oneself to make a new life -- I feel more than a little envy. Being able to do that, sounds scary and yet exciting as all heck.

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

It is both. Right now it's more scary than exciting, but it keps flip flopping around. :)

Texas is so hard to leave behind, isn't it?

[nightshadepyre.livejournal.com]

I was dating my boyfriend for just under a year and a half when he expressed his dismay at not being able to find anything outside of retail or food service that would hire him. We were living in Connecticut at the time, he had moved from NYC to live with me less than a year prior.

I made him a deal. If he could find a better job in NYC, that would match the way we were accustomed to living in CT, I would go.

I had a great apartment, a great job at an employer I'd been with for five years (my personal record), friends in the area, and though I hated CT, I was verymuch used to everything there.

Guess what happened? He found a BETTER job than mine. I honored my word, and packed up to move to an apartment I wasn't crazy about, where all my friends are at least an hour and several tollbooths away, without much in savings. Not ONLY because I'd given my word, but I put aside the fear that I'd fail (if we break up I have nowhere to go now!) in this, for the new opportunity. A clean start.

I could still fail, but today is the first day of permanent employment with the firm I've temped for off and on since February. Everything isn't magically falling into place, but it's starting to, because I'm doing my damnedest to make things work.

Before, you KNEW you had a safety net. I am absolutely not saying that you didn't try your hardest and most desperately to have things work, but maybe something in you just knew that wasn't your future.

Now you don't have a safety net. You DO know that is your future though. You're driven, and I have total confidence that you will make it.

*hug*

Re: Texas is so hard to leave behind, isn't it?

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

[lisalees.livejournal.com]

It's often said that when one looks back on one's life, one is most likely to regret what one didn't do, or didn't risk, rather than any mistakes one might have made. I've certainly found that to be true. In the past year I've made a couple of really big changes in my life which many people would call crazy, and though it's been scary at times, it still feels right. Look at all you've survived; you're pretty good at it. So trust yourself and follow your heart.

[danodea.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether you're doing the right thing for you or not. That's something I think only you can know.

When I'm confused or conflicted, I try to find time and place to sit and meditate - mostly clearing my mind - and then bring up whatever is bothering me and see what concepts show up. It usually helps.

Whatever you decide - Good Luck.

Maybe...

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

...Columbus had the same problem?

It's always a choice between the "safety" of what one knows, and the "uncertainty" what what can only be guessed.

In my example, I was a gazetted public servant back in 1994 with a guaranteed income of $33,000+ in the Australian Public Service. But I left it, because to stay would have been to stay mediocre, rather than follow whatever potential I may have had. Now it's been a long hard road since then, and I've fucked up more than once, but that's not the point.

Do I know if you';re doing the "right thing"? I have no idea. I do know that it's reasonable to have doubt, because only then can you examine your motivations.

[wytwolf.livejournal.com]

Hopefully I can help you feel a bit better ^_^

I lived in Southern California my entire life. All of my friends lived there, my family lives there, everything I ever knew was there. I had a steady job working for a great company and such was life. However, where I lived was NOT gay friendly, it was too expensive, too hot, and instead of making money most of it flew out the window because it's freaking expensive there XD I was in debt and didn't know what to do anymore.

My friend and I moved to Washington on a whim. I had never lived here before, never VISITED before, and didn't know a single soul who lives here. Our apartment lease in CA was up, so we packed our things and made a 1,000 mile road trip to Olympia, WA. It was the best chance we had ever taken. I had no job lined up, just a few hundred dollars in the bank after paying for the new apartment fees (I arranged the new apartment via the internet and the phone) and I searched for work when I arrived. I temped for awhile but now I have a steady job that pays as much as I made in CA, but the living costs less. I got my debts taken care of and am in the position to actually buy a new car. I have some new great friends, the weather is wonderful, my apartment is a million times nicer, and things couldn't be better...

So sometimes it's worth it to take a jump into the unknown. It could be exactly what you were waiting for... even if you didn't realize you were waiting! Much luck to you and your move, I hope you love it in this state as much as I do! :D

[salamanders.livejournal.com]

Hey look at my, I lived in Ontario for 24 years then my parents went and moved to BC. I was sure I was gonna stay in Ontario but then I went, packed up all my stuff and the cats and flew out here.

I mean I still miss my friends back in Ontario but I do love it here in BC and I am glad I did it.

It'll be scary but I think a change would be good for you!