"As part of the ceremony, I am required to tell someone that which I have never told anyone before..

[dolari]

...Now is as good a time as any." --Lennier

It's not something I've never told ANYONE - I actually think there's very little of that. I've mentioned this in a few family filters, and on the friends filter a few times, but I don't think I've said it publicly. And considering what it means for some of you who I read...well...I guess I should finally say it.

I am envious of anyone who gets their SRS surgeries. Very envious. Rabidly envious. To the point of being resentfully envious. To the point that I let friendships crumble and have to put nasty thoughts out of my head when I talk to someone whose had it.

It's a failing on my part. I'm working on it. It's hard, but I'm getting through and over it.

Coming Out Day doesn't have to mean you just come out of the closet.

In better news: Dean and I met for the first time 11 years ago today. I think I'll have a pepperoni pizza (our first meal) to celebrate.

Comments

[hurricane-amy.livejournal.com]

you know today is my wedding anniversary...

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary! ::hugs::

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Yeep! I hadn't known it was so hard for you.

Hug?

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

I don't WANT to lose anyone, or stop talking to anyone. I'll get over it.

[debbie-ann.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry...I never realised how much pain I was causing you...I wish there were something I could do, but I'll understand it if you stop talking to me or replying to my posts.

*hugs*

I understand, though, and am not (and will not be) upset with you.
Bragging wasn't my intention when I posted all that stuff in my LJ...
But I will still consider you a friend (not really a close one), and I'll keep reading your comics. I have to admit that I am a little envious of you in that department...my inspiration has pretty much run dry...I haven't been drawing or writing much new material in awhile. (I'm not just saying that, I mean it...).

[debbie-ann.livejournal.com]

By "(not really a close one)" I meant, "We aren't really close friends, we just seemed to bump into each other on line, and shared a common interest"...honestly, you are one of the people I've met online that I'd like to be able to meet in person someday.

[jenndolari.livejournal.com]

The main reason for this post is to just get out that I have some problems, and I'm trying to get over it. I don't WANT to lose anyone, or stop talking to anyone. I'd like to still have you (and everyone else) as a friend. One that doesn't need to censor herself on my account. The problem is with ME, not you, and I just need to get over myself.

[angharads-house.livejournal.com]

At risk of being sent to Coventry (the night of Goering's surprise urban-renewal project, of course), I might dare to add that one's problems can be profound drivers to progress, if one can convert despair to anger to resolution to action. And dammit, Ms. Mugwump, there are lots of people out there who do very much want to see you make it, sometimes for the most selfish and least-altruistic reasons.

Take it for what it's worth; I have great confidence in you, and so do the rest of my fractious braidmates.

So, don't get over it. Do get on with it. The observation that you can write what you just wrote is a hell of a good sign.

[debbie-ann.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[chaoticset.livejournal.com]

You and me both...

[shadow-mib.livejournal.com]

I can understand the feeling.