Taking a page from Erica Strange.

[dolari]

Allowing my depression to torpedo my school career.

Siding with people bullying a friend, because it felt cool.

Walking away from a fight my friends got into with some bullies, because I didn't want to be hurt.

Getting involved with a 13 year old who lied about her age (when I was 15)

Bullshitting a science paper that wasn't just bullshit, but near plagarism of a sci fi theory I liked.

Allowing my art teacher to convince me that my comics weren't art.

My mother commandeering my transition.

Getting involved with Angie.

Allowing myself to get fired from the comic store.

Buying into being told I would never make it as a comic book artist.

Leaving behind anime fandom and contacts from the C/FO days.

Not drawing anything for nearly a decade.

Allowing videogames and depression to destroy my college career.

Not buying the right bullets.

Ratting out a good friend and my Dad to save my own skin, and the aftermath.

Treating Sarah badly because she was having problems with her boyfriend, who I also knew.

Losing contact with Sarah after Geri died.

Going into tech instead of graphic design, because it made more money.

Convincing a friend to have SRS when it wasn't a good thing for her.

Not taking a side-ways promotion at Dell that would have guaranteed my employment.

Losing Dean.

Losing my job at Dell.

Accidentally killing my pet betta.

Moving home in 2001.

Allowing my jealousy of a friends SRS to hurt my relationship with her.

Not speaking up when Leeza treated Dean badly.

Losing my job at Dell the second time.

Going to the EEOC when I was fired for being trans at Harte Hanks.

Taking a year off after Wincor to detox and work on an art career.

Leaving Austin for San Marcos.

Believing it was okay to reveal my deepest secret to anyone.

Leaving DNP and moving to Seattle.

Not moving in with Erin when I first got here.

Leaving a month early on my lease, instead of trying for one more month.

Hurting Emily in how I told her I was moving back to Texas.

Comments

[didactic-cudgel.livejournal.com]

So where's the list of the things you DON'T regret? And on it, I fully expect to see "Buying the wrong bullets"

[didactic-cudgel.livejournal.com]

I think I should have said "I *HOPE* to also see 'Buying the wrong bullets'"

[gwenners.livejournal.com]

This. Regret can be very easy, and is wonderful fuel for depression.

[red-tanya.livejournal.com]

you cannot change the past, and dwelling on it is only good if you are learning from it how to make things work better for you right now.

(*HUG*)

[amw.livejournal.com]

That's brave, posting it on your journal! I am way too embarrassed to post mine - perhaps it involves too many people who still read my journal. Did you find it cathartic to do? It's interesting to look at everything all together and perhaps cast off some guilt as you go, especially when you identify events that in retrospect you really didn't have any control over.

[ghostangel.livejournal.com]

This seems very cathartic and triggering. *hugs*

[kisai.livejournal.com]

"Believing it was okay to reveal my deepest secret to anyone."

We all do that. I pretty much regret the last 8 years due to putting stuff in my LJ that others read and repeated to others.

[iqtech.livejournal.com]

Believing it was okay to reveal my deepest secret to anyone.

It sounds like a world of hurt has happened over this breech of trust. All I can say is I'm sorry that it happened and that I love you.

I hope that this listing of regrets has been cathartic. One of my regrets is ever having gotten you involved in that stupid HR debacle back when I was your trainer. If I could do it over, I'd have walked out on him instead of trying to reason with him.

But I can't change that so all I can say is that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make amends to you if that incident caused you harm.

[salamanders.livejournal.com]

I agree

I made this detailed list of all my worries and things I was unhappy about in my life and showed it to my mom. She looked at it but before she was willing to talk about them with me she insisted I sit down and write out all my successes and things I was happy about. It made me relize that even with all this bad stuff happening, I managed to do a lot of good things, and that helped me calm down and figure out ways to fix or let go of old baggage.

I really hope you listen to your friends and write the flip side to this list. It might suprise you

[http://users.livejournal.com/strangelv__/]

Something I often do is remind myself is that experience comes with a price tag and then force myself to mentally change the subject. It seems to work.

[audaciousd.livejournal.com]

NOT that I don't care about the other ones, because I do, but because I can basically speak directly to this one: don't worry about the L business. It's over, and I know/knew I have your support, and it may well have stirred up more angry bees anyway. Buzz. :P