The "Wrong" Side of Trans
Mar. 3rd, 2010 12:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariOver the last few days, it's kind of come to my attention, that my opinions on being trans might be "wrong." Or at the very least outdated.
It started a few months ago when I gave a friend, who had just come out as trans, a bit of (my) harsh reality of being trans. Her partner didn't appreciate this, although the person who actually came out did. Just a few weeks ago, when Emily was having her surgery, I was trying to be descrete when I'd mentioned she was having a deeply invasive cosmetic surgery...another person argued othat it wasn't cosmetic, it was medically necessary (I hate arguing semantics, especially when there are MUCH more important things going on). Finally, just a few nights ago, I'd made mention that I felt that a neo-vagina was just that: a neo vagina. Not a female vagina. Two people argued (and in one case, pretty vehemently) about it.
This got me to thinking, maybe my mindset was wrong. So much so, that I went to several of my closer and trusted friends and asked them if my viewpoint was...well...even valid....
Well, what IS that viewpoint?
My viewpoint, the viewpoint I've had about my transness all my life, is that I am a woman. A woman wired into a male body. No matter what I do to that body to make it look more female, in the end, itis a male body does not make you any more of a woman. Having electrolysis kills the beard, but does not make the body any more female you any more of a woman. Taking hormones to rearrange the body fat and grow breasts, does not make it any less male you any more of a woman. The surgery removes the penis and creates a neo-vagina, but does not make your body any less male OR more female you more of a woman.You'd think this last one would be the whole point in my view, but it's not:
But what it does is create the look and feel of a female body. And if that makes you feel better in your skin, do it. If you pass, even better. And if you can go stealth, go for it. But for me, even if I could do all those things, I'd still be a woman, wired into a male body, reconfigured to look female. I often liken being trans to having a massive burn scar on your face. You can live without any surgery, but people will notice the scar. If cosmetic surgery to make it look more normal makes you feel better, and hides the scar from the public, do it. But in the end, you have been scarred. And for some of us, the scar can never be completely removed.
But that's not an accusation of fooling other people, or deluding yourself. My beliefs are my own, if you disagree, I try not to push it. Beliefs are neither right or wrong, they are your own. And for me, being a woman is a state of mind, not a state of body (although that REALLY REALLY helps), and no matter what you do to the body you live in, if your heart is a woman, you're a woman.
Is my viewpoint valid? For me, yes. Pershaps for many others, yes. For everyone, no. In fact, I fully expect some pushback here about it. But maybe this will shed some light on why I think the way I do about transition, the words I choose, and my attitudes about translife in general.
[EDITED 3/5/2010 for clarification, edits shown]
It started a few months ago when I gave a friend, who had just come out as trans, a bit of (my) harsh reality of being trans. Her partner didn't appreciate this, although the person who actually came out did. Just a few weeks ago, when Emily was having her surgery, I was trying to be descrete when I'd mentioned she was having a deeply invasive cosmetic surgery...another person argued othat it wasn't cosmetic, it was medically necessary (I hate arguing semantics, especially when there are MUCH more important things going on). Finally, just a few nights ago, I'd made mention that I felt that a neo-vagina was just that: a neo vagina. Not a female vagina. Two people argued (and in one case, pretty vehemently) about it.
This got me to thinking, maybe my mindset was wrong. So much so, that I went to several of my closer and trusted friends and asked them if my viewpoint was...well...even valid....
Well, what IS that viewpoint?
My viewpoint, the viewpoint I've had about my transness all my life, is that I am a woman. A woman wired into a male body. No matter what I do to that body to make it look more female, in the end, it
But what it does is create the look and feel of a female body. And if that makes you feel better in your skin, do it. If you pass, even better. And if you can go stealth, go for it. But for me, even if I could do all those things, I'd still be a woman, wired into a male body, reconfigured to look female. I often liken being trans to having a massive burn scar on your face. You can live without any surgery, but people will notice the scar. If cosmetic surgery to make it look more normal makes you feel better, and hides the scar from the public, do it. But in the end, you have been scarred. And for some of us, the scar can never be completely removed.
But that's not an accusation of fooling other people, or deluding yourself. My beliefs are my own, if you disagree, I try not to push it. Beliefs are neither right or wrong, they are your own. And for me, being a woman is a state of mind, not a state of body (although that REALLY REALLY helps), and no matter what you do to the body you live in, if your heart is a woman, you're a woman.
Is my viewpoint valid? For me, yes. Pershaps for many others, yes. For everyone, no. In fact, I fully expect some pushback here about it. But maybe this will shed some light on why I think the way I do about transition, the words I choose, and my attitudes about translife in general.
[EDITED 3/5/2010 for clarification, edits shown]
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Date: 2010-03-04 01:54 am (UTC)