(no subject)
Aug. 16th, 2003 06:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariCALL OF THE DAY!
Customer called in yesterday with a memory problem. All the Troublshooting was all set up, but the customer didn't have the address she needed for service. This was Friday at 10 AM. Sure, set it up before 4PM, we'll get that part shipped out to you, and the service will be done Monday.
She calls back at 7PM on Saturday. I setup her dispatch useing the previouis notes, no problem. I then tell her the part will be out on Tuesday. She does an audio doubletake and says, "I need it Monday."
INNOCENT LITTLE ME:"Well, shipments set up on the weekend don't get shipped until Monday, the tech will have your memory in his hands on Tuesday and call you to find out when you want it installed."
HER:"I need it Monday."
ME: "Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to speed this up, the part simply isn't shipped until Monday."
HER: "Well, I need to speak to a manager, then."
ME: "Unfortunately, it's 6PM on a weekend, there's no manager you'll be able to speak with until Monday at 8AM Central."
HER: "Do you have a press department? Because after the press release I'm going to send out, you're going to need it!"
ME: "I don't know the extension offhand, however, they're also likely to be out for the weekend. Either way, you won't be able to speak with anyone until 8AM on Monday."
HER: "Alright, but I warned you!"
She then hung up. I'm sure that CNN, ABC, CBS and FOX will be happy to print her press relaese right up there with Power Outage news, Iraq reports and maybe will even drop the weather segment of her newspaper to rpint this report.
Customer called in yesterday with a memory problem. All the Troublshooting was all set up, but the customer didn't have the address she needed for service. This was Friday at 10 AM. Sure, set it up before 4PM, we'll get that part shipped out to you, and the service will be done Monday.
She calls back at 7PM on Saturday. I setup her dispatch useing the previouis notes, no problem. I then tell her the part will be out on Tuesday. She does an audio doubletake and says, "I need it Monday."
INNOCENT LITTLE ME:"Well, shipments set up on the weekend don't get shipped until Monday, the tech will have your memory in his hands on Tuesday and call you to find out when you want it installed."
HER:"I need it Monday."
ME: "Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to speed this up, the part simply isn't shipped until Monday."
HER: "Well, I need to speak to a manager, then."
ME: "Unfortunately, it's 6PM on a weekend, there's no manager you'll be able to speak with until Monday at 8AM Central."
HER: "Do you have a press department? Because after the press release I'm going to send out, you're going to need it!"
ME: "I don't know the extension offhand, however, they're also likely to be out for the weekend. Either way, you won't be able to speak with anyone until 8AM on Monday."
HER: "Alright, but I warned you!"
She then hung up. I'm sure that CNN, ABC, CBS and FOX will be happy to print her press relaese right up there with Power Outage news, Iraq reports and maybe will even drop the weather segment of her newspaper to rpint this report.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-17 04:18 pm (UTC)Anyways, what's happening on the other end of the phone, is the technician is looking a flow chart with little checkmarks he has to fill out. He can only click those checkboxes if you actually do the work on the phone. Even if you call in saying "My AC adapter is broke, and a known good one works" he still has to go through the chart. Worse yet, there's no "My AC Adapter doesn't work" flowchart, and you have to use the no POST flowchart with is long an involved. If not enough of those checkboxes are marked, the dispatcher will cancel the dispatch. And if you just click everything to get it dispatched, and the call is reviewed, you will be fired. Useage of the flowchart is 100% mandatory.
I've learned to cheat the system a bit, though. A good example would be "My CD-ROM doesn't work and I swapped out another one, and it works fine." What I do is click all the flowchart items that you've probably done, while asking you if you already did it. "Well, when you swapped out the CD-ROM, you obviously reseated the cables, you haven't touched the jumpers so they're still correct, the power plug works on the known good so obviously it's working" and so on. The secret is to get the customer to say, "Yeah, I did that" and check it off. I'll usually skips some stupid steps.
Now, when I dispatch it, it goes to an L2 to check it. Most are pretty good about skipping steps, and I ALWAYS put extra notes in (Known Good works fine, checked before call) and the L2 will be nice and dispatch it. If my call is recorded, the L2 can't say you didn't do the steps I checked off. However, there are two hardass L2s at Dell who demand EVERYTHING be checked, and will often deny a dispatch until you do something on top of that.
I once got an L2 who demanded I go back and do steps over, which I did (Usually, I tell the customer a supervisor denied the dispatch AND the name of that dispatcher) to which the L2 demanded I reinstall the Operating System because "it might be the audio drivers causing the speakers to crackle. ("But we installed the ones from the website already" "Then it must be Window's Audio Subsystem, reinstall the OS.") At that point the customer refused further troubleshooting (I don't blame him), and said he was going to escalate this to his Dell Rep. I not only gave him my name and badge, but the L2s name and badge and told the customer he denied the service, This L2 has a history of doing that.
Anyways, you should probably get used to the shoddy treatment. The American queue can get away with some of the stunts I pull to get a part out ASAP, but the Indian queue (which'll be EVERYONE'S queue in the near future) not only has the 100% flowchart usage, but 100% script usage (annoying when I have to tell an Indian tech I'm transferring a call to him, and he keeps following his script).
Might I suggest a homegrown server? :)