(no subject)
Aug. 16th, 2003 06:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariCALL OF THE DAY!
Customer called in yesterday with a memory problem. All the Troublshooting was all set up, but the customer didn't have the address she needed for service. This was Friday at 10 AM. Sure, set it up before 4PM, we'll get that part shipped out to you, and the service will be done Monday.
She calls back at 7PM on Saturday. I setup her dispatch useing the previouis notes, no problem. I then tell her the part will be out on Tuesday. She does an audio doubletake and says, "I need it Monday."
INNOCENT LITTLE ME:"Well, shipments set up on the weekend don't get shipped until Monday, the tech will have your memory in his hands on Tuesday and call you to find out when you want it installed."
HER:"I need it Monday."
ME: "Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to speed this up, the part simply isn't shipped until Monday."
HER: "Well, I need to speak to a manager, then."
ME: "Unfortunately, it's 6PM on a weekend, there's no manager you'll be able to speak with until Monday at 8AM Central."
HER: "Do you have a press department? Because after the press release I'm going to send out, you're going to need it!"
ME: "I don't know the extension offhand, however, they're also likely to be out for the weekend. Either way, you won't be able to speak with anyone until 8AM on Monday."
HER: "Alright, but I warned you!"
She then hung up. I'm sure that CNN, ABC, CBS and FOX will be happy to print her press relaese right up there with Power Outage news, Iraq reports and maybe will even drop the weather segment of her newspaper to rpint this report.
Customer called in yesterday with a memory problem. All the Troublshooting was all set up, but the customer didn't have the address she needed for service. This was Friday at 10 AM. Sure, set it up before 4PM, we'll get that part shipped out to you, and the service will be done Monday.
She calls back at 7PM on Saturday. I setup her dispatch useing the previouis notes, no problem. I then tell her the part will be out on Tuesday. She does an audio doubletake and says, "I need it Monday."
INNOCENT LITTLE ME:"Well, shipments set up on the weekend don't get shipped until Monday, the tech will have your memory in his hands on Tuesday and call you to find out when you want it installed."
HER:"I need it Monday."
ME: "Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to speed this up, the part simply isn't shipped until Monday."
HER: "Well, I need to speak to a manager, then."
ME: "Unfortunately, it's 6PM on a weekend, there's no manager you'll be able to speak with until Monday at 8AM Central."
HER: "Do you have a press department? Because after the press release I'm going to send out, you're going to need it!"
ME: "I don't know the extension offhand, however, they're also likely to be out for the weekend. Either way, you won't be able to speak with anyone until 8AM on Monday."
HER: "Alright, but I warned you!"
She then hung up. I'm sure that CNN, ABC, CBS and FOX will be happy to print her press relaese right up there with Power Outage news, Iraq reports and maybe will even drop the weather segment of her newspaper to rpint this report.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-16 05:14 pm (UTC)One of our 20 or so Dell PowerEdge 2650's abruptly died a few days ago. I go down to the datacenter and look at it. The orange "guy holding a wrench" LED on the power supply was on, and the power supply smelled burned. I unplugged it, plugged it back in. A little puff of smoke came out. Since this was a critical system, I took the power supply out, stuck a spare power supply in and called Dell's "Premier" support.
Me: "Hi, I've got a 2650, service tag XXXXXX, and we had a power supply fail in it. Server was dead, orange light was on. Tried to power cycle it, it smoked. I replaced the power supply with a known good spare, and the server is fine. I need a replacement on the bad power supply."
Tech: "Well, we're going to have to run some diagnostics first. I need you to put the server back how it was before, and try powering it on again."
Me: "Sorry, this is a mission critical system, I can't just power it off. Also, if the power supply smells burned, and I saw smoke come out of it, I don't think it's too wise to put it back in and plug it in again."
Tech: "For us to diagnose the problem, we have to run some tests first."
Me: "The power supply died. Really. Smoke came out. I just need a replacement. We have the 4 hour 24x7 support on this server, can you dispatch a tech and we can 'troubleshoot' here?"
Tech: "Oh, I don't believe we offer that level of support for power supplies, just the servers themselves."
Me: "The power supply came with the server, it's an integral part of it. I'm pretty sure it's covered."
Tech: "Let me talk to my supervisor, just a moment."
(worst music on hold ever for about 10 minutes)
Tech: "We're going to have to escalate this. We're not sure if having you replace the power supply like that is permitted under our warranty."
Me: "They're hot swap power supplies, they're MEANT to be replaced by the customer. Move one bracket and they just slide out."
Tech: "I believe that only authorized technicians are allowed to replace components on these servers."
Long painful conversation later, they finally dispatch a tech who just hands me a new power supply and leaves.
Can you please please please get transferred into the server group? :)
no subject
Date: 2003-08-16 10:53 pm (UTC)Me: My harddrive seems to be dying. OSX doesn't work, I've run every diagnostic known to man on it, including fsck (the Mac equivalent of DOS diagnostics) and I've gotten nothing.
Tech: *makes me reboot the computer about 15 times* >_>;
::one hour later:: Please delete everything on your hardrive and write to zeros, and call us if it doesn't work. (btw, it didn't work)
(they basically were not going to send out a box unless I did this)
Me: Um okay. *writes stuff down*
Tech: *attempts to terminate convo*
Me: >_>; But theres something you missed. My hinge has made parts of my screen come off.
*Commence 20 minute convo about exactly WHERE this was happening. Mind you that he KNEW this was an iBook, there was no question of where the hinge was, and where the *bottom* of the screen was. It took me that long to communicate that the hinge was pulling the edges of my laptop screen off.*
Tech: Oh. Well, can you be without your *precious* laptop for a few days? <---seriously thats what he said :x emphasis his O.o;
Me: Yes. -_-; I've been waiting to fix the laptop for a long time.
Tech: We'll send a box.
*another discussion about and address to send it to*
Me: Do you still want me to "write to zeros?"
Tech: Yes.
Me: Okay... (mind you, that I'd get the box in about three days. and they were going to check it ANYWAY)
*end of convo*
*shrugs* O.o Tech support is an odd animal it is.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-17 04:18 pm (UTC)Anyways, what's happening on the other end of the phone, is the technician is looking a flow chart with little checkmarks he has to fill out. He can only click those checkboxes if you actually do the work on the phone. Even if you call in saying "My AC adapter is broke, and a known good one works" he still has to go through the chart. Worse yet, there's no "My AC Adapter doesn't work" flowchart, and you have to use the no POST flowchart with is long an involved. If not enough of those checkboxes are marked, the dispatcher will cancel the dispatch. And if you just click everything to get it dispatched, and the call is reviewed, you will be fired. Useage of the flowchart is 100% mandatory.
I've learned to cheat the system a bit, though. A good example would be "My CD-ROM doesn't work and I swapped out another one, and it works fine." What I do is click all the flowchart items that you've probably done, while asking you if you already did it. "Well, when you swapped out the CD-ROM, you obviously reseated the cables, you haven't touched the jumpers so they're still correct, the power plug works on the known good so obviously it's working" and so on. The secret is to get the customer to say, "Yeah, I did that" and check it off. I'll usually skips some stupid steps.
Now, when I dispatch it, it goes to an L2 to check it. Most are pretty good about skipping steps, and I ALWAYS put extra notes in (Known Good works fine, checked before call) and the L2 will be nice and dispatch it. If my call is recorded, the L2 can't say you didn't do the steps I checked off. However, there are two hardass L2s at Dell who demand EVERYTHING be checked, and will often deny a dispatch until you do something on top of that.
I once got an L2 who demanded I go back and do steps over, which I did (Usually, I tell the customer a supervisor denied the dispatch AND the name of that dispatcher) to which the L2 demanded I reinstall the Operating System because "it might be the audio drivers causing the speakers to crackle. ("But we installed the ones from the website already" "Then it must be Window's Audio Subsystem, reinstall the OS.") At that point the customer refused further troubleshooting (I don't blame him), and said he was going to escalate this to his Dell Rep. I not only gave him my name and badge, but the L2s name and badge and told the customer he denied the service, This L2 has a history of doing that.
Anyways, you should probably get used to the shoddy treatment. The American queue can get away with some of the stunts I pull to get a part out ASAP, but the Indian queue (which'll be EVERYONE'S queue in the near future) not only has the 100% flowchart usage, but 100% script usage (annoying when I have to tell an Indian tech I'm transferring a call to him, and he keeps following his script).
Might I suggest a homegrown server? :)