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Oct. 18th, 2011 10:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolariQuestion for people reading the Growing Up Trans stuff, particularly the last chapter.
This is kind of a rough draft...I'm writing while I have the muse and just getting as much on paper as I can before editing. This leads the a lot of repeated information and dropped threads, and things needing clarification.
The last chapter mentions a "protracted psychogenic fugue" and "becoming the girl in the mirror." It was something that happened after the suicide attempt that radically changed my viewpoint on life, akin to a religious person being born again.
Thing is, I don't like to talk about what that is. I can't not talk about it - the suicide and aftermath was life changing. Leaving it out is like making a great painting with the color blue.
But getting into any farther goes DANGEROUSLY into "woo woo" territory. Not UFO abduction Woo Woo but definately woo woo.
When I've told what I felt happened, its not been received well. And to be fair, even I think its out there. Either way, it strains credibility and could easily aggravate readers.
The closest thing I've found to what happened that seems to be well received was (well is) a psychogenic fugue. Problem is, if I go into any more detail than "I became the girl in the mirror" it veers way off and strains credibility.
What do you think the best choice is?
1) Don't mention the psychogenic fugue thing at all.
2) Leave it as "I became the girl in the mirror."
3) Mention becoming the girl AND the vague psychogenic fugue term.
4) Tell the whole story, reader and writer credibility be damned.
I feel a lot like Ellie Arroway in Contact, trying to explain her 8 hour trip when all the evidence says she never left.
This is kind of a rough draft...I'm writing while I have the muse and just getting as much on paper as I can before editing. This leads the a lot of repeated information and dropped threads, and things needing clarification.
The last chapter mentions a "protracted psychogenic fugue" and "becoming the girl in the mirror." It was something that happened after the suicide attempt that radically changed my viewpoint on life, akin to a religious person being born again.
Thing is, I don't like to talk about what that is. I can't not talk about it - the suicide and aftermath was life changing. Leaving it out is like making a great painting with the color blue.
But getting into any farther goes DANGEROUSLY into "woo woo" territory. Not UFO abduction Woo Woo but definately woo woo.
When I've told what I felt happened, its not been received well. And to be fair, even I think its out there. Either way, it strains credibility and could easily aggravate readers.
The closest thing I've found to what happened that seems to be well received was (well is) a psychogenic fugue. Problem is, if I go into any more detail than "I became the girl in the mirror" it veers way off and strains credibility.
What do you think the best choice is?
1) Don't mention the psychogenic fugue thing at all.
2) Leave it as "I became the girl in the mirror."
3) Mention becoming the girl AND the vague psychogenic fugue term.
4) Tell the whole story, reader and writer credibility be damned.
I feel a lot like Ellie Arroway in Contact, trying to explain her 8 hour trip when all the evidence says she never left.
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Date: 2011-10-19 01:34 am (UTC)There's a kind of grim irony in not wanting to tell the full truth because it's not as credible as a half-lie.
I'll say this much: Failed suicide attempts can lead to interesting mental states. Your experience, no doubt, is not the only one, and a lot of other people who've been there could agree.